In your experience, has available sex replaced the desire to masturbate? If so, how often did you masturbate, and how often do you have sex to replace it?
In my experience, masturbation–while resulting in an orgasm, of course, like sex–is wholly different from sex, and sex can’t replace it. Jerking off is just a part of life. I thought most people were this way, men or women, but then I recently saw a post that led me to think differently…
So? – Can’t beat [with] the real thing?
When listening to Loveline on the radio, I often hear about women who are upset that their boyfriends/husbands still masturbate now that they are living together/engaged/etc. This always baffles me- I would assume that most people who have particular nuances before they meet/live with someone will probably retain most, if not all of them. It really seems like these women see the masturbation as a ‘threat’ to the relationship. The best ones are situations where there is no physical intamacy at all in the relationship, and yet the woman keeps sayin “Why should he have to do that when he has me?”
I can’t speak from any personal experience, but what you say about it being two different things makes sense. Masturbation is generally more personal and private.
I couldn’t honestly say. In one longish-term relationship, two engagements, and ten years of marriage, I think I’ve yet to experience “available sex”, at least not “available” in accordance with my needs and desires. YMMV.
Give it up? Oh my, no. Masturbation on the contrary has definitely enhanced my sex life. Anyway, I was masturbating before he came along. If you sang in the car (or name your choice of activity) before s/he came along, any reason to give that up? Then why do (some) people think masturbation should be given up
Heh. I’d say you hit the nail on the head. Unless you are dating someone that you have chained naked to your bed, odds are good that you are not both going to be in the mood at the same time ALL the time. For instance, if I yelled from the shower at 6:15 am on a Tuesday, “Honey? Can you get out of bed and come get freaky with me?” all I would be likely to get would be the sound of a slammed door. So there I am, horny in the shower, obvious solution at hand.
So you’d suggest, BoringDad, that if the real thing was available when you were horny that you’d no longer masturbate?
Oddly enough, my boyfriend and I had this talk a few days ago.
We both copped to jacking off once or twice a week. And neither of us minded that the other was going solo on occasion.
To me, masturbation and sex are very different. You jack off to get off, fast and simple. Sex is, well, it’s art; it’s about making someone else feel amazing, and getting off on that experience. It takes time, and energy, and concentration.
It seems totally unfair to assume that another person is going to take care of all your sexual needs. There are times when you just need to get off, and asking your partner to help out with that seems like demoting them to the level of kleenex and hand lotion.
I hope you meant to say that.
Hmmm. Hard to say. Never really had this as a viable option. But, no, I’d probably still play tug of war with my little buddy occasionally, based on almost exactly the reasons MrVisible lists.
(And I’m glad my wordplay was appreciated KarmaComa!)
I my experience when you are getting it as often as you want whenever you want (my record for this is one week) the need subsides but does not go away. If the other person is around and willing there is no need to do it alone though. Hell, I have a girlfriend who enjoys watchingme wank off when she isn’t up for sex and she provides visual stimulation.
“Available sex”? In marriage? On what planet?
If my wife becomes available for sex, I will have forgotten how to do it. Just because she seems to have lost all interest in it does not mean that I am going to stop having a sex drive, or attending to it by myself, as that seems to be the only way it’s going to get taken care of.
But I agree that sex with your SO and a date with the Palm Sisters are not the same thing.
But sometimes reducing someone to that is hot, don’t you think?
I have noticed that when I’m in a relationship I tend to masturbate less than when I’m single and not getting any, but I don’t seem to masturbate less when I’m single and I am getting laid on a regular basis. But then I think I tend to masturbate out of boredom more than the need to get off. Perhaps knowing that sex is theoretically available in a relationship lessens my need to manufacture my own orgasms. Sort of like not snacking when you know that dinner’s in a couple hours?
That’s funny, 'round here we call it **“having a date with Palmela Handerson” ** 
I swear, there is no activity which isn’t somehow analogous to sex, death, or taxes.
Absolutely NOT. Different experiences altogether.
Masturbation is okay, while actual sex is (depending on the partner) highly preferred and desirable. Just a more intimate, pleasurable experience, I suppose.
I can’t imagine very many things that turn me on more than watching a guy masturbate. My ex was happy to comply with THAT request a few times.
Please don’t let my mother read this thread…
So, whiterabbit, how you doing?
Sound of zip.
Agreed that they are two different animals.
However, with that said, for the very first time in my life, I’m with someone who’s libido is just as high as mine is. Now, how much we both get obviously will never be enough just because we don’t get to ride around in the other’s pocket 24/7. So, in light of that fact, I tend to masturbate more when my honey’s not around because I’m really, really horny for him and nothing else is available but some electrical appliance. We’ve talked about this quite extensively and he feels the same way. Fortunately, neither one of us is threatened by it and instead, kinda turned on. 'Course, with us, I think watching paint dry, walking the dog or paying bills could do the trick.
And our euphemism for this necessary act is “doing a load of laundry by hand”. Gives chores a whole new meaning.
My point – and I did have one, but I got distracted – is that I would be terribly disappointed if I had an SO who tried to quit taking matters into his own hand on MY account.
I almost didn’t post in this thread, but I wanted to provide a personal counter to the “why would he do that if he has ME” idea.
And I’m fine…but unavailable. Sorry to get your hopes, or anything else, up.
Exactly Otto’s point: the “little death” is taxing.