Sex is overrated. And please, no posts saying I obviously haven’t done it yet. I’ve done plenty, and it’s overrated. Every guy I know (and women too, they’re just more subtle) talks about, jokes about, dreams about, plans on, expects, wants, even NEEDS more sex. The big question is, why? I’m not saying it’s not good, but geez, there’s more to life. There’s lots of ways to get a thrill. Sex is only one of them. So why does it always seem like sex is a major topic of most magazines, and of many conversations, not to mention thousands of books, websites, etc. You’d think it was as essential to living as water and air.
I’ll bet no one has the balls to tackle this question honestly.
I have to agree with you somewhat, drain. The plain old bump n’ hump is overrated, and I think the media does place far too much attention to what we’re doing in the bedroom. I think the part about sex that is not overrated is the sex that happens in a very close, deep, intimate relationship–where sex becomes something far more than just 15 minutes of thrusting and twisting the sheets–the kind of sex that is elevated to lovemaking. Lovemaking is a far different issue, because it requires trust and intimacy for it to happen, and when it does, it blows “sex” out of the water. That, in itself, is not overrated.
The reason why there is such an emphasis on sex, is the fact that we are human animals–and all animals have the impulse to reproduce–just that as humans, we have the common sense (hopefully) to not hump on the neighbor’s lawn. Sexuality is a biological function, as much as eating and sleeping, because it ensures the survival of the human race. It is an important part of our lives, because it is why we exist in the first place, and how we will pass our genetic code into the next generation.
People joke and comment about sex because it is an issue–and it always has been, and even when some generations (like the Victorians) try to repress it, it still leaks out in other ways.
Of course there are other thrills in life, and actively pursue those. But to live without my three-times-a-week with my boyfriend? I’d certainly miss that.
Well okay, JavaMaven, you proved me wrong by tackling the question. I guess sex seems overrated because I’ve never been in love with anyone, and have therefore never had the opportuinty to “make love,” as you say. Of course, this brings up a whole other question: how big a deal is being in love?
Is it a fairy tale? No. There are still tears and anger and bad days. There’s no castle, white horse, or fairy godmother to do the housework with a wave of her wand.
But is it a deeply satisfying part of my life? Indeed it is. I know I’m in love because even with all his bad habits, strange quirks, and the arguements we’ve had, I’d never want him to go. He’s in love because he feels the exact same way about me.
Loving someone is like finding your other half. The discovery of that other half is a long search with that person–you may not see it at first. “Love at first sight” really doesn’t belong in this realm, because it doesn’t exist–“lust at first sight” does–but that’s another topic. This kind of love takes time to develop because of the amount of intimacy and nurturing it takes to evolve–you have to get over the hormonal “honeymoon stage” before it starts to happen. You really begin to see into the depths of their personality, and realize that they complete who you are.
Love makes you a better person, because it makes you think of someone other than yourself, and it is a step in becoming a truly mature adult person. Loving someone else and maintaining such a relationship is not the easiest thing in the world–it takes work–but, when it’s done well, it’s one of the most fulfilling and spiritually satisfying things in the world.
SPOOFE, you’ll never get laid if you keep hanging out at ST conventions and Goth clubs with underage kids running around in expensive black makeup and clothing. Geez, man, I saw your pic, and I know plenty of women who’d dig you.
Ok.
Sex. It’s overrated when YOU aren’t doing it for any other reason other than YOU getting off. Absolutely wonderful when you have it with someone you can share your life with and when you try and have fun with it. pLt has it right. JavaMaven1 said it more clearly, though I don’t think you necessarily have to be in love with the person your sleeping with for it to be good, but it certainly can make a helluva difference.
And being in love is a very big deal. Only way to convince anyone of that is to let them see for themselves when it happens. Can’t rush it, can’t force it, just let it be. When it happens i’ll bet wer’e gonna see a thread titled,“Sex Rocks and Love is Underrated”, followed several months later by, “Love Stinks Redux”. JK, i hope not.
Actually I agree to a point. The actual physical act is nice but at the end of the day a tad overrated.
However it’s more than that. The best feeling is the snuggling (before or after). It’s the intimacy the entire act implies and emphasises. It’s waking up with them in the morning and sharing little kisses and cute nose rubs. Butterfly and eskimo kisses.
sigh
I’m having enough girl troubles WITHOUT there actually being a girl in my life at the moment.
Either you’re a woman, or you’re a guy that hasn’t gotten laid in a LONG time - and you’ve resorted to saying things like “I like eskimo kisses” to get into someones knickers
drainthelizard, typical case of boredom. I suggest you find some little lady who steams you up, grab a bottle of your favorite hard fire water and a doobie or two of your favorite illegal weed. Buy an adult game from the local porn store, head for a hotel with said vixen and start playing the game, knocking back drinks and puffing weed.
(The combination of booze and weed can be a major aphrodisiac.)
Make things interesting and exotic. Use black lights, candles, scented oils, special clothing and toys. Rent and watch some porn together. Buy some colored or glow in the dark rubbers.
Just ‘regular’ sex can get boring at times. Why do you think there is a multimillion dollar a year business in sex toys and sexual aids?
Buy a color wheel (a light which has a wheel of colors that rotate on a slow electric motor to change the colors of the room) and make love with just it on. Buy and try out the stuff in JOY OF SEX one and two.
Experiment! I used to have a briefcase packed with Black lights, oils, rubbers and stuff that I took to motel rooms with a girl when my place started to get boring and it was fun. (Don’t buy those screw in black lights that look like a normal light bulb, only purple. All they do is give off a purple glow. The fluorescent tube type is best.)
YES! Some people think I’m weird cause I haven’t
had sex with anyone in decades.
The great thing about not having sex is that you
can approach everyone on the same level, regardless
of age, sex, or orientation. Nobody is getting into
my bedroom!
The only people I have trouble with is guys who think
they can get any woman into bed. When they hear me
say “NO,” they take it personally and give me grief.
I hate that!
The act of sex itself is overrated but making love is an entirely different experience. I’ve had it both ways… meaningless sex just to have sex and having sex with someone I’m in love with. It’s much better when your in love with the other person. It just brings you closer together. I can’t really explain it, it’s just a feeling like no other.
My fiancee and I haven’t had sex since July 5 (because of my surgery) but we’ve been intimate in other ways several times. We can’t have penetration yet but what we have been able to do is almost as satisfying as actually having sex. We’re still hot for each other and still want to be with each other even though we can’t have sex and I think that’s fabulous! Just wait though. When the doctor gives me the go ahead, watch out cause I’ll be a woman on a mission!!
I gotta agree with most of you here. Just getting your rocks off is merely physical gratification, after which you feel literally anticlimactic.
But making passionate love is something else again. It’s not only the pleasure in the act of intercourse, there’s all the foreplay and getting into the mood first. Like the song says: it’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase.
BTW, a really good bonk is also the best cure for insomnia I know.
I guess I could agree with this, just because I’ve gone through a period of low libido (thanks to breastfeeding, parenting stresses, overwork) and find that while we definitely need to jump in the sack more often–and look forward to that!!–we still have a good and happy marriage.
Of course, I know my husband would report that its a bigger issue than I would, but it hasn’t been the strain on our relationship that I thought it would be.
But I have had plenty o’ relationships where sex was the thing that held us together. It can be a pretty powerful glue when needed… Maybe it’s both overrated and underrated.
