Someone mentioned something concerning sex in one of the many posts here – which is not exactly unusual – but I think it was in the Rape one where a person said that for a sexually frustrated person, a male especially, that masturbation was a good replacement for actual sex.
On that topic alone, I beg to differ. I’m on a psychometric medication for bipolar depression, among a few other things, and one of the irritating little side effects is that it has cut down my sexual desire and function to almost nothing. (I, of course, just HAD to be in that 5% that it would do that to.) Due to other effects of my illness, including a tendency to avoid people and remain secluded, I have not gotten laid in a LOOOOOOOONG time. I have found that masturbation is NOT as satisfactory as a sexual encounter with a woman, never considered it to be so even when I was fully functional and would like to point out that there is a lot more to sex than just the frantic rubbing of slippery mucous membranes in assorted positions.
I back tracked to the postings of a previous poster here who was ripped into bloody shreds a short time ago and read his original post on sex as from a man’s point of view. I ignored the volumes of ferocious attacks on him, his ancestry, his mental state and his relationship with the apes and did some thinking and came to a conclusion.
He was speaking volumes of truth. He might not have said it very well, but he displayed an insight I think few men and possibly few women realize.
Sex is not just pounding away until one shoots one’s load. Masturbation is essentially all in the mind and sex is not just there. I’m going to point out what I found that I miss and I am going to openly plagiarize some of MarkSerlin’s ill fated post to help explain what I mean.
Touching is of vital importance, at least from my point of view. (I’m NOT going to make his mistake by claiming to speak for all guys – which seems to have sparked the feeding frenzy.) I have found that the softness of a womans skin and the smoothness of it is as erotic as hell. (Big difference from being around hairy guys all day long.) The feel of her breasts is very erotic, with their delicate softness, firm feeling and the interesting hardness around the nipples. Sight comes into play also, for one can see the delicate tracery of veins in the breasts from time to time, can appreciate the curve and texture of them and take in the entire view of the woman’s body.
A woman is all soft curves and gentle angles, soft hair, soothing warmth and pleasant to the eye, at least to mine. I cannot vouch for other guys. Like MarkSerling said, I notice the narrowness of the waist, the curve of the back, the broadness of the torso when seen from behind and the gentle, attractive swell of the buttocks. Then comes the curve of the upper and lower legs and the forms of the feet. I LIKE holding a woman by the waist when making love because, as he said also, I can feel the strong muscles working there.
I miss the feel of her hands, the softness of her forearms, the warmth and softness of her lips, the feel of her cheeks and the scent and texture of her hair. I miss seeing how she looks in soft lights, how her hair shines and floats above me and hangs across her shoulders. I like the look of her pelvis, when her legs are spread wide on me, legs cocked on either side and the neat looking trim of her pubic hair and the soft, warmth of her vagina down there.
I don’t like the scent of sweat. I agree heartily with Mark on that, and I just love how some light perfumes become more intense when activated by love making and seem to fill the room with a delicate, sweet scent that adds to the mood. I will notice how her eyes sparkle in the lights, the softness of her face and the beauty of it, especially when approaching climax. I will notice how she holds her head, any sounds she makes and how she positions herself as her peak approaches. I will notice her weight on me and her warmth, the feel of her muscles against mine and, if she laughs, how it vibrates through her chest.
I will notice her lipstick, eye shadow and any painted nails she wears along with any little bits of jewelry she has on. All in all, I will be aware of how she feels. I will be aware of her, of her pleasures as well as my own, observant in case I might hurt her or if she gets uncomfortable. I like the smooth, very soft skin between a woman’s thighs and how it feels when pressed against me and the way she puts her hands on my chest and I will be VERY aware of how she looks when her peak is reached.
When my peak arrives, she will, for a few seconds, look like a radiant and beautiful angel almost surreal in being. I will also be very aware of how she feels when I am in her and how her body responds to mine. Afterwards, I will be equally aware of feeling her cuddled up next to me as we relax and enjoy each others’ presence.
(Whew!)
So, in my opinion, masturbation is NOT, just as good as sex, even if you have one of those $5,000 life-like dolls.
You know, Mark WAS right in much of what he said, but he did not say it very well. I might be on medication that makes it hard for me to function properly, BUT, there are still things about having a normal sexual relationship that I miss and the experience is greatly enhanced if it is with someone you really like a lot or love. Masturbation just doesn’t give one the intense sensory perception that full love making gives.
AND, just in case someone gets the wrong idea (like THAT never happens here) I do not approve of or condone rape under any circumstance.
So, what do the rest of you think?
What? Me worry?’
