I vote not rude, but could be construed as slightly harsh, depending on your tone. The “really, really hate that name” part is unnecessary and can be understood as a mild rebuke. A simple, “Please, just call me Scrubbs. Eustace is so formal” or “Please, all my friends call me Scrubbs” or something along that lines would come across, at least to me, a little bit warmer.
When I become infallible, I will mock you for your imperfections.
Just chiming in to say I feel the same way. I don’t have a burning hatred for my name, but I’ve never liked it. Most of the trouble is learned: my wife and, to a lesser degree, the rest of my family has used my name only in a negative context for as long as I can remember. Anythig positive or neutral is addressed to me using any number of terms of endearment of other familial honorific.
As such, I can’t stand when my wife calls me by name. I get that cringing feeling like somehting bad is happening and it prevents me from paying much attention to what’s really being said. Fortuneately, she’s on board with the anything-but-my-name plan and saves it for when she’s really pissed or when my attention span can be measured in picofarrads.
I voted wrong.
Anyway, it seems to me that the request was not rude. However, having had this conversation once, that should be the end of it. At some point, one should accept that they don’t have the authority to control someone else’s behavior, even when that behavior is the use of a disfavored name. Especially with such a close relative, it would be better just to accept whatever that person chooses to call you.
Oh, I don’t completely agree there. I won’t make an issue of it with my sister-in-law, because I like her (I only brought it up because I simply wasn’t sure I had ever told her that). But there are plenty of interactions in which I will say, "No, don’t call me “Skald.” Sales interactions, to be specific.
One-time sales interactions with people you’re never likely to meet again? I don’t really care what they call me in such circumstances. In fact, I find it annoying when they ask me if they are pronouncing my name correctly. Perhaps in their view, they’re being polite. But to me it’s a waste of time – I’m never speaking to you again; I really don’t want to take the time and effort to give you a pronunciation lesson. I usually give a fake name to restaurant greeters to avoid this issue.
Customer service people usually use “Mr. X” anyway, so it seems to me that there wouldn’t be much opportunity to discuss the “don’t use my first name” problem.
Are you talking about sales people you interact with repeatedly then? Even in those cases, I wouldn’t correct someone more than once. After that, whatever. There are people who know be by some name that exists only in their heads.
We now interrupt this poll to ask a completely off topic question based ony our personal life.
Your reference to Mrs Rhymer in your OP did nto include the word “estranged” or “former” or anything of the sort. I cannot ascertain whether to be silently happy that your relationship is on the mend, or to silently hope that whatever happens is for the best. If there was an update to that whole situation, I missed it.
The poll can now continue.
Reconciled.