You want folks to listen? Become Death, Reaper of Souls. A howling beast collecting the souls of mortals commands more attention than the average newcomer.
Good luck. /w
Certainly not. If you look back you will find that after only a few posts I was acclaimed as “a member of the greatest posting generation”. It may be a coincidence that “pay to post” then came about, however most authorities doubt it.
Mind you my first few post were superb although, obviously, not as mature as this one and yours appear to not be touched by genius at all.
Or post something in defense of creationism.
Regards,
Shodan
It’s not you. Most posts here get ignored, or at least not responded to directly. And most threads die a lonely death. I’ve been here since '99 and I’m trying hard to remember whether any thread I started really took off. Though I’ve participated in a few excellent ones.
One way around the problem is to post a Welcome thread.
So… welcome, $tretch!
We have festivities just down the hall. Room Eight. Be careful not to pop the balloons.
And then there are those who feel compelled to point out that negative three
(-3) is an equally valid answer to the question…
One thing to keep in mind, $tretch, is that new posters come and go all the time. Some get bored with the place after a day or two, some are flushed out and exposed as socks or trolls. As long as you fall into neither of these groups, you’ll eventually find yourself “catching on” with at least a small group of members. One way to establish yourself is to find a thread such as this one, which permits you to quickly amass a string of relevant posts, and thus gain name recognition among some of the bibliophile Dopers.
I’ve had two successful threads I’ve started. Participated in some interesting ones, read a lot of more interesting ones. Seldom show up if I vanity search - except when my husband references me, never show up in MPSIMS game threads about posters (but seldom post in them either, suspect a correlation), and think that after my six years here there are still a lot of people who say “Dangerosa who?”
Damn, beaten to it. 
Also try to remember that as soon as you know the answer to as-of-yet unanswered question (or an alterative answer in my case) someone will almost always post that exact answer minutes before you, therefore making you look like a tool.
But on those rare occasions that you sculpt a beautiful, flowing post citing published well-established information and reflecting hours of research, and after you have hit Submit and you realize that no one has beaten you to the punch, you will truly feel as though you have accomplished something great.
Or at least it will until someone comes by and picks apart your spelling and/or grammar, presents an even stronger position opposite your own, or totally debunks your cites.
In my experience, the best way to get attention, as a new member, is to have a well-established Doper mom. 
Thanks, mom!
Very, very, very funny post…but who is mom?..the members of the academy have no idea.
It isn’t much fun watching your question slowly drop down the page with a big fat zero next to it, but don’t be discouraged, I’m sure it happens to most of us from time to time. The truth is that the longer you’re here, the more you’ll be able to pick up on those subjects which interest the community most and are almost certain of a healthy response.
Here’s a tip: anything to do with bodily fluids, or human waste products (colour, consistency, smell) is a surefire winner!
You’ve just rung the doorbell and the door has just opened to a fabulous party.
You need to put your coat away, get a drink and start to mingle.
Like any good party, there are parties within the bigger party. Yes, those initial tight clusters of people can be quite intimidating, especially when they all stop talking and look at you in that way. Apparently you are not the expert/Nobel winner/know it all that they were expecting. They’ll check your credentials and find them wanting. Take a deep breath. Hold your head up and keep moving.
Try the next amalgamation–oops, they’re throwing canapes at one another, and one is struggling with the lampshade. There is some sort of game going on here-celebrity names are bandied back and forth quicker than a Wimbledon match. You aren’t sure if they are talking live theater, movies, TV or last week’s party. The food is fantastic! The music is pervasive and insistent, though. You’ll come back here.
Veer off into the next room, where all the shouting is. This is one place you don’t want to just enter the fray–there’s a feeding frenzy going on in the corner and the Geneva Convention does not apply here. Voices are raised, ties askew, some women haveFerragamo pumps in hand to beat brutes handily. In the corner, a small group of folks are dabbing bloodied heads with Kleenex, surreptiously wiping away tears–better keep moving. As you leave, you hear a man braying in the middle of the room–hey, that’s something related to my work, you think to yourself. And he’s got it completely wrong! What a jackass! You linger at the door, but decide to check out the rest of the party.
Ah, the sun porch. It’s cooler out here, and the music and voice din aren’t pile-driving into your head. Here people are calmer, almost banal. Is that a pacifier in that guy’s mouth? Oh, thank God it’s not. Listen to the murmur of general discussion, punctuated by the occasional knock-knock joke. But the occupiers of this room seem to veer off the topic so quickly! And are these really topics? His exchange with the gas station attendant? Her puppy chewing up her new hat? Hmmm. But wait…seems the puppy chewed up her new hat while she was busy shagging the bitch’s owner. Intriguing…
Out on the patio, the last group is blathering away. Hey, they look like fun! Step up to join them, only to find that this is all parallel play. Everyone is busy spouting their own opinion about any chosen topic. Is anyone noting anyone else’s thoughts? On the surface, it seems not. You recognize some faces from other rooms now, as the stream of constant conversation eddies throughout the house.
There you have it. Rarely, the cops are called on account of the noise and perhaps the local obscenity laws. Sometimes the cops come and mingle. AFAIK, they can be bribed with chocolate or alcohol. Just FYI.
Welcome Stretch. This place is huge and as many others have mentioned, it’s easy to get lost in here. The others have all made good (and funny) suggestions. Just relax, people will catch on to who you are.
I’ve started many a thread and watched them die. To be sure, some have generated some responses, but not all of us can be among the greats. Some of us just have better writing styles, better stories, better ripostes. It’s what makes this place interesting.
Is anyone actually reading this thread?
Didn’t think so…
Welcome, $tretch! Oh, and don’t ask, don’t ask. Instead, read here…this proud mom has two Doperkids….
GT
Dear members of the academy: I am (drumroll, please) little norinew! And the crowd goes wild!!!
or not.
Welcome to the party, $stretch. It’s true that unfortunately, a recent rash of, um, returning footware has made people just a tetch more suspicious of new posters than we usually are, and we’re a cynical bunch to begin with. Friendly, mind you. Just cynical.
Tch. el. You know I wouldn’t waste a perfectly good pair of Ferragamos that way.
Yay! I’m so glad I got all these responses. I didn’t have anything interesting to start this thread with but at least I know I’m not invisible!
I wanted to sign up with Stretch but that name was taken, so I improvised! My name is Catt and my boyfriend has given me the cutesy nickname of Stretch Catt because according to him, I look “absolutely adorable” when I stretch. :dubious: He says it reminds him of how cute our cat is when she stretches. The cat is a stretch cat too! Hee, I’m not sure how intersting this is, but there you go!
My interests include long walks on the beach… ah, well actually, it’s mostly surfing the internet and watching tv and a absolute fascination for reading absolutely trivial stuff people have no need to know but want to anyway because it’s interesting!
Are the goats and sheep like the sharks with friggin laser beams attached to their heads?
Hee, considering my specialization is in physical anthropology, that’s going to be a little tricky! My friends get so sick of me ranting about people not understanding the theory of evolution and how intelligent design makes my blood boil. Actually, maybe I should throw evolution vs. creationism into my bag of interests. Not that I don’t like knowing the arguments for the other side… know your enemy and all that, right?
I know what trolls are, but what are socks??? Hee, I got another mental image of a pair of empty white socks tapping away at the keyboard. 
I’ve been lurking for a bit, and it’s still a pretty big place for me to explore and so far, it’s been really interesting reading all the threads. I’m hoping I can afford a subscription thingy before my 30 days is up!
Originally, a sock[puppet] was a poster who signed up with multiple usernames, all posting in “support” of some poster who tended to get beaten down in arguments as though the poster actually had support from multiple other posters (who were really the same poster speaking through the puppets on his hands). (Old, newsgroup usage.)
It has come to be used to mean anyone ( often a poster who has been banned, returning) who posts under a separate name.
Posting under more than one identity is forbidden on the SDMB. Years ago, socks were allowed for fun, (God posted for awhile), but too many “fun” socks turned into the old-fashioned sockpuppet, so the practice is prohibited.
We’ve got a sticky with terminology help here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=320298
*Sock or sock puppet *
When a poster sets up an alternate username (in violation of SDMB rules), usually for nefarious reasons. The original use was when a person registered multiple times to debate with himself (or more likely, agree with himself in a debate.) It is now also used to refer to situations when a poster was banned but tries to sneak back in under a secret identity. Note that, under SDMB rules, a person may have only one user name; having multiple usernames is a bannable offense.
tomndebb, I hate you 
Yeah… a sock is a second dummy account. The moderators use their secret Bat Computer to detect the invisible nilons and raons that emanate from the sock puppets, after which the socks are thrown into the dryer with a Bat-Cling-Free sheet and… uh… wait, what question was I answering again?
I have also noticed a tendency to be ignored, as have most, I guess. As nearly as I can figure, in my own circle of offline friends, I can be counted on to know that little bit of stupid trivia, or to make some intelligent quip, or to have some sly wisecrack — but here on the Dope, that’s a description of everybody. Only a few stand out.
Never fear, $tretch. People are taking note of you, and will continue to do so as you post in subjects that interest you. They’ll notice where your interests overlap with theirs. It happens. I can count on GorillaMan to beat me to the punch in any thread about music theory; and on Wendell Wagner to show up in threads about the Lord of the Rings movies. You’ll get the hang of it and <Yakov Smirnov>in Soviet Russia, it gets the hang of you!</Yakov Smirnoff>.