I just saw clones, and it would have been a very very good movie, however I have some bones to pick with you. Lets start with young Vader. You should have at least given him 10 or 20 minutes of being nice, so maybe we could feel a bit of pity for him, or at least to ease the transition. No, instead you have him being uppity to obi right from the get go, being a brash little prick, and not to say it couldn’t have been pulled off, but it wasn’t. The whole courting scene is cliché and pathetic, running through fields together and rolling in the grass? What is this the sound of music? And what’s with the dialogue? He sounds like a pushy asshole that hits on any women in a bar. “I really…am…deeply…in love…with you” delivered in a monotone that would kill Ben Stein is not good acting. Ok so anyway they fall in love, we knew it was going to happen. Next George you give us the worst ‘I’m having a nightmare’ scene in the world. Half the theater thought he was getting a blowjob consarn it! Go watch aliens and watch Ripley, because that’s how its done. Next, later in the movie, Portman jumps off something 40 feet high, and makes a perfect 4-point landing straddling a horse? WTF??? Lets make a vague attempt to adhere to some laws of physics please. Portman takes the cake a few minutes later when she gets knocked out a ship, and lands in a sand dune. Lying on the ground moaning in pain, people approach her and ask if she’s ok, she says “Yes!!” and jumps up like a spring chicken. I cannot convey how bad that scene was, I simply cannot find words, the entire audience groaned!!! Lastly little Vader’s mom dying was the worst scene in the movie. Get someone else to rewrite the next one dude, because you have lost your mind, and no matter how hard you try, you will never recapture the magic of the first trilogy.
Man, you are evil, Scott. I had successfully repressed all memories of that thing and you brought them all back. I’m going to go lie in the corner and whimper now… :o
World Eater, I would argue that you’re suffering from selective memory where the quality of Lucasian dialogue and physics are concerned. I’ve been watching these things for the last 25 years, and I would never expect sparkling performances on either front. I saw Attack of the Clones last week, considered all the things you just mentioned, and dismissed them as being minor gaffes that didn’t really affect my enjoyment of a great addition to the series.
I agree with some of your points, but I don’t feel that they detract from the experience all that much. Yes, Mama Shmi’s death was a bit poorly written, but it fit – the character’s only reason for existing appears to be as a creator/motivator for Anakin. She gives birth to a child who was never fathered, who is destined to become a violent and evil man. Her death at that time and place provides a reason for Anakin to give into the dark side, as well as a handy group of victims for him to take revenge upon.
Anakin’s dream acting and some of his dialogue aren’t Oscar material? Maybe if he dreamt he was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters, and would be back in 12 parsecs, you’d like it better. Anakin is an arrogant, angry, and conflicted character. That’s all he’s about in this movie, except for his infatuation with Padme. He got the job done, and I enjoyed most of Hayden Christensen’s performance.
Complaining about Amidala’s fall (onto soft sand sloped at an angle to reduce the impact severely) is ludicrous in an environment where deep-space vessels handle like airplanes and people can be flash-sealed into blocks of metal and come out alive. She had to fall out. She had to survive. What do a few extra meters matter, when they can be explained away by being a little generous? Did it also bother you that the Ewoks had a dress in Leia’s size when she was taken to their village? Probably, but that didn’t ruin the movie – the Ewoks did that themselves.
Take a look at what you’ve written, then stop and think a little bit. Did Attack of the Clones suck? Or are you just nitpicking and going out of your way to find fault?
Cap’n good points. My frustration stems from the fact that it is a quality movie, but these gaffes IMHO are too big to over look. It seems to me that Lucas just doesnt know how to deal with human actors. The quality of acting in this movie is horrible, it is even painful to watch in some instances, most of them noted above. My beef wasn’t with Amadala falling out, it was her rotten acting when they asked he if she was ok, and jumped to life like nothing happened, it just suspends belief. I cant imagine that these cheesy little things were not edited out, because if they were, this would have been an insane movie. They frustrated me enough to ditract from my overall take of the movie, and the 1000 other people in the theater agreed as well, by cringing at each incident listed above. I will admit those ‘sonic bombs’ are about the coolest fucking things I’ve seen in awhile.
i honestly think people expect to much from these films. or forget just how bad alot of the plot/acting from the first series really was. yes there is alot of brie like dialogue in epII , yes there is some occasional (and it is just occasional) bad acting. but these things were all present in the first set of films, why should this film be judged using different and higher expectations?
the entire audience groaned at the nightmare/erotic thrashings, but they also cheered yoda kicking serious arse. for me at least the orginal star wars are flawed sometimes woefully bad pieces of fun. i love them precisely because they are flawed and sometimes silly, not inspite it.
epII for me fills very well into that mold.
