In this thread, LOUNE mused on whether I was a MILF, and RNATB expressed his opinion that I was/am. Aside from noticing that Dopers with exceedingly long usernames are making this observation, I am trying to decide whether that’s an insult or a compliment. I believe it was MEANT as a compliment (and thanks, BTW), but there’s something kind of insulting about the expression. I have a friend IRL who has joked that I am a MILF, and he assures me it IS a compliment, but my husband was offended on my behalf (he took offense to the term, not the sentiment.)
So, a poll: Ladies, would you be pleased or insulted if someone said you were a MILF, and why? Men, is this a term you use and do you mean it as a compliment?
It always seemed like something frat boys who watched American Pie a lot would use. I don’t use it, because it seems like an insult to the person it is directed to, and an insult to the intelligence of the person saying it.
I can’t think of any context where it wouldn’t be a compliment. Basically it’s just an observation that although you’re of an age to have had children, or even grandchildren, you’re still a damn sexy woman that your typical red-blooded straight male would love to get naked with.
Your husband’s reaction is understandable. Most guys would be a little upset at somone saying, "Man I’d love to bang your wife! "
Be flattered!
Personally I wouldn’t use it. Not because it’s an insult, I just consider it to be a bit crude. Kinda like saying, “Nice tits. Wanna fuck?”
To be honest, I have never thought of the term as an insult. The only person I could even imagine taking offense to the statement is maybe a standard mother who has never been called a MILF. In that case I could see her being upset only because it implies that average mothers are not attractive but really I think that is a serious stretch.
I’d say it’s a crude compliment, something like “Your daughter is a really attractive girl- great figure” means pretty much the same as “Your daughter has great tits and a fantastic ass” and the latter may be more to the point, but would probably get a different reaction. If I were a woman and a mother and told I was a MILF I’d take it as a compliment but I wouldn’t go on a date with whoever said it.
I first heard the term GILWAD in Another Gay Movie but I’ve heard it on TV since; it means sexy senior, or a “Grandpa I’d Let Wine And Dine” me, but it’d probably stop with the wine. I think MILTF is probaby the better compliment actually.
Ok, actually, that makes more sense than what I posted. I guess I mean that I think it is crude, and the woman it is directed at would be insulted, at the crudeness. So let’s pretend that’s what I said.
MILF is crude, but I don’t see why it’s insulting. It just means a somewhat older woman who’s sexually attractive–a hot soccer mom or something. I wouldn’t say it, certainly not to someone I was hitting on, but I might think it.
It’s a little more straightforward than that, though. Neither thread so far has defined Mother I’d Love to Fuck.
I’m probably just too old, but in my time that kind of crudity was considered insulting both to say and to hear. In any case, “getting naked” is only the beginning.
There are some women I might regard as MILFs today. But none for whom I had any respect.
As I said, he objected to the term, not the sentiment. He knows I’m not going anywhere - as does my friend who said it. I believe it came up when I was being a typical PMS-y woman and lamenting the size of my ass or something, and my friend was assuring me that I was not fat, dumpy, flabby or wrinkly.
Yes, I think the word I was looking for was “crude” although that seems a little harsher than I actually mean, you know? Maybe “unpolished” or “blunt” would work better.
The sentiment is fine, but imagine if I said “Larry, I’d like to fuck you” as opposed to “Larry, you’re looking good” or “Larry, you sure are aging nicely.” Crude yes, and definitely weird, and I could easily see it as insulting or demeaning. One could say it has chauvinist undertones in it.
There are two situations in which it would be insulting:
There is an older, (and, in the U.S., probably dying), view of language that presumes that any crude expression is insulting because it is crude, regardless of its intent.
In a related manner, some people would infer that a crude comment directed at a woman presupposes that the woman would be receptive to crude advances.
However, among the (crude) people who use it, it is clearly intended as a compliment.
It’s a crude compliment. Rather like telling a woman you just met “Great boobs !” Basically, it’s the sort of compliment best mentioned to a third party out of her hearing. “That Eileen’s one hot MILF !”
It implies older aged women. I am not an older aged woman, therefore I would not like to be referred to as a MILF. The next, more insulting thing to call even older women is Cougar.
I’m a young mom, but I’d rather just be complimented than have a dumb thing like that thrown at me.
I’d like to know, when are we going to make up sexual, disgusting acronyms to call men? I’ve never heard of anyone called a DILF.
I had used the term “get naked” out of respect for the mixed company of the board. I had assumed that anyone reading the thread would already be familiar with the term MILF.
And I think I’m the polar opposite one who I would regard as a MILF. I would have no interest in getting naked with someone I didn’t respect, no matter how drop dead gorgeous they might otherwise be.
It doesn’t seem like a very nice compliment. It’s like saying to a famous star, “You’re hot, I used to whack off to your picture back when I was in high school”. I sure as heck wouldn’t tell a women she’s someone I’d like to fuck, even if it was the truth, let alone that she was a MILF because it just sounds so crude.
I believe the term you’re looking for is “fraternity gentlemen”
Also, I’d have to agree with the “crude compliment” camp. I would never use it as a direct compliment for that reason, it’s not something that’s really supposed to be used when addressing the person in question.
If someone said they’d like to fuck me, I’d probably assume they’d been drinking, but I wouldn’t take it as an insult. Presumptous and maybe alarming, but not insulting.I sure hope there’s somebody out there who’d like to fuck me, as I age not that nicely.
Of course men and women react to these things differently.
Methinks we need some less crude version of this - something between MILF and “attractive older woman” (unlike indygrrl, I actually am old). And what the hell, let’s come up with one for the guys, too.
