Of course, the ratio is better. But the mother is laying in bed exhausted and might fall asleep.
Chance of 1 nurse on duty falling asleep?
Chance of a woman who just gave birth falling asleep?
I am just saying his opinion is not ridiculous- although his method of expressing it was harsh. If he genuinely believes, the baby, his grand child, is in more danger - then it is also reasonable that he expresses his opinion with enough force so that it is heard. Which, although he tried, it still wasn’t heard.
Jerks can be right once in a while too…and then we have the natural reaction to disagree just for the sake of it.
Well, his point, assuming it was valid, was moot. There are no nurserys at the hospital I’m deliverying in and they won’t put a healthy child in the NICU just 'cus grandpa is paranoid.
Regardless, suggesting that Jr. is going to die within hours of birth just to try to make a point is douchy.
I dunno. Suppose your child wanted to get in a canoe without a lifejacket, your fil rant’s about how unsafe he believes that is, but you say it is ok. Would it be douchy of him to say, “Do you want to wake up every day of your life knowing your child drowned because you let him ride a canoe without a lifejacket?”
If his opinion about the safety of the child is genuine…then a harsh expression of that concern is understandable- he is trying to get his point across. Of course, he sounds like someone who likes to win arguments- and he may have been exaggerating his concern because he is a douche.
Lets remember that this is also the same man who likes to call me a bitch, and drops the N-bomb for shits and giggles. I’m not sure his douchyness is really in question…
And if Alice is where I think she is…and if her baby is healthy and fine and she herself is in relatively good shape - the nursery is not even an option. Baby stays in the room with mom - unless baby is sick and needs either Special Care or NICU, or mom is having serious complications.
yes, I am sure you are right…he is a total jerk. Yet playing devils advocate with you over this is so much more fun than just working… It reminds me of talking with my sister
Really, I think this was just a continued rant on my FILs part about declining health care - he gets annoyed when everyone doesn’t completely agree with him.
(He called his friend a stupid asshole because friend is interested in buying a house in a neighbourhood that FIL doesn’t like.)
Much as I don’t like the idea of seeming to defend your douchebag fil in any way, shape, or form…he could just as easily use that exact response to defend what he said to you about your baby dying. In fact, that’s typically the response assholes use to defend their asshole comments–it was just a joke, nobody meant anything by it, my god why are you so over-sensitive, etc.
Your father in law sounds like a real piece of work, but cmosdes does have a point. If it’s not okay for other people to use hyperbole about someone dying, it’s not okay for you to do it either. If nothing else, that sort of double standard is exactly the kind of thing a kid will notice and call you on, and I don’t know any parent who relishes those conversations, if you see what I mean.
FWIW, it really does sound like fil’s assholishness is more a matter of having no mouth-brain filter than outright malice. Not that it makes his behavior any more acceptable, mind you, but it does make it somewhat easier to not take these things personally. And it makes it much easier to cultivate a serene, innocent misunderstanding of ambiguous pokings and proddings, as well as the occasional deafness so that you cease to be a fun target. (I’d be lying, by the way, if I said there was no pleasure in watching their utter failure to annoy you drive these people crazy.)
To me there’s a difference between blowing off steam on an anonymous message board where the target of your ire is never going to see what is said and have their feelings hurt, versus calling someone a bitch to their face and telling a pregnant woman that she’s going to feel bad if her baby dies.
You’ll probably be wanting to get out by then anyhow.
The nurses will do a very good job of making sure baby is healthy and all your pipes function, but other than that you’re on your own. And trying to take care of a new tiny human is easier in your own home. Especially in the night, when they kick dad out.
To characterize what I said as in any way saying it was okay to call you a bitch is both untrue and unfair.
But how different the comment about your baby dying is from you wishing your husband is an orphan…well, I guess it depends on whether you would think it was okay for your fil to have made that comment where you couldn’t hear it. If he were, say, blowing off steam about how cavalier and pigheaded you were being about his grandchild’s safety. If you would think that was just fine and dandy, great. If, however, you would take it as further proof of what a dick he is…then the difference between you is a matter of degree rather than type.
He’s horrible and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Why can’t people just let us be joyful when we’re pregnant? There are some people who just aren’t comfortable around a pregnant woman unless she’s sobbing or at least ringing her hands.
I highly recommend this book: You Can’t Say That To Me it’s a functional, factual, and highly practical guide on how to deal with Verbally Abusive people. It will not only help both you and husband to get through this without a permanent family rift, but it will allow you to model healthy strategies which will serve your child well throughout his/her lifetime.
He doesn’t sleep much.