Why would I possibly care what he say’s when I’m not around?
He could call me a raging cunt-a-holic and if I don’t hear it, it makes no difference to me, whatsoever. The other people he’s with may object, but in this case, what I don’t know won’t hurt me.
However, if you would like to characterize me blowing off steam here in private as being similar to my FIL insulting me to my face - well, that’s on you.
Lord have mercy. What I compared was him making comments about your baby dying and you making comments about him dying. Nothing about insulting you to your face, and you bloody well know it.
If you’re this touchy around people trying to have an honest conversation with you and, in case you somehow managed to miss it, denouncing his behavior, I can see why you’re such an attractive target for someone who enjoys poking and prodding and needling people to make them blow up. He must get terribly satisfying reactions from you.
Who’s touchy now?
Yeah, seriously.
Wait - I’m touchy because I disagree with you? Heh. Ok.
Ugh. What an ass.
Your comfort and stress level should be of utmost importance during this time, but family is family. I think you should take some time away from them, cool down, and re-evaluate as time goes on. Did you discuss what happened with your husband, MIL, or FIL? Did you make it clear how much what he said upset you? Sometimes you have to be the one to force open up the lines of communication, if you want things to change.
I don’t think some ignorant comments are grounds to sever ties, but I think you should take care of yourself first. Pregnancy is an excellent excuse for moodiness, and if you don’t want to see him for a while, they’ll just have to deal.
I love my MIL to death and she’s a sweetheart, but she says some tactless and judgmental things - never anything of this caliber, fortunately, but sometimes she’s pretty bad. It’s common practice in the family to laugh her off or gently tell her she’s being inappropriate, in the interest of preserving peace, and because she really does mean well.
Thinking wistfully about how much easier your life would be if you had married a different person who had no living parents doesn’t = wishing death on two existing people.
Thanks for this - I was beginning to think I was living in the Twilight Zone.
We’re in the same city (unless you’ve moved away Alice?), so she might even have hers where I did. I had my son six years and change ago here and unless they’ve changed quite a bit the baby stays with Mom in the room unless A) she has a c-section (in that case the baby goes to the nursery and comes back for feeding as my roomie did until she was more recovered) or B) baby is in the NICU or C) Mom requests the nurses watch the baby in the nursery while she showers or something.
I was in the hospital for a little over 24 hours after I had Velociraptor and he was out of my sight twice. Mom went with him for his first bath while I got cleaned up, and Mom watched him for me while I showered before we left to go home.
Unless there is a problem with baby or some reason why mom can’t watch them they won’t be any worse off staying with mom. They’ll be at home soon anyway and mom won’t have a handy nursery to send the baby to.
Not an outlandish opinion but it could have been phrased a whole ton better. I was moody enough when pregnant (and tried to not spill on others) without adding comments like that to the mix. I nearly hit a woman who asked me when I was having an abortion after I told my friends at the time. (No, I didn’t know her, she was the current girlfriend of a former roomie and I have no idea why she would think that.)
No, you’re coming across as touchy because you are persistently (and seemingly willfully) mischaracterizing what I’ve said, implying that I defended the old jackass calling you a bitch, even though I have clearly and explicitly said in every post that his behavior was in no way acceptable. The only possible cause I can see for such mischaracterization is that I dared to question your seeming double standard about making comments about someone dying. If an honest question gets you acting like that, I hate to think how you respond to deliberate goading, and how much that sort of reaction is meat and drink to a member of the pick-and-poke brigade. They never leave a person like that alone, not ever; they’re congenitally unable to do it.
If this is typical reaction for you, you will continue to be a chronic target for this man’s provocations until the day one of you dies. I’d like to envision something better than that for you and for your husband and kid, but it’s a sad fact that that better future will have to come from you rather than him. You might as well try to change the phases of the moon as to try to change someone like that. But it’s ultimately no skin off my ass either way, so feel free to roll your eyes and ignore everything I’ve said.
:rolleyes:
Thank you - that was very satisfying.
um, no, actually, she’s not the one that’s coming off as touchy…