Well yes, games of ‘gay chicken’ happen. But contrary to the belief of a lot of the guys here, there are many straight guys that don’t think of platonic physical intimacy with a male buddy as something to avoid at all costs.
I’ll always remember one of my straight friends who is that way with everyone. Male, female, gay, straight, whatever. After we had known each other quite a while he pulled me aside to let me know that he had just realized that I was gay. He wanted to make sure that his behavior wasn’t offensive to me. Of course it wasn’t, I like having friends that I can hug, sit with, lay with my head on their lap (or theirs on mine) without it being anything more than a couple of friends who don’t think touching each other is taboo or a sign of the friendship being anything more.
'Hail fellow well met" physical back slapping or brief shoulder squeezing is acceptable behavior in a US male context, but moving toward more intimate touching akin to what a woman and man engage in is trending gay. And it’s not the ass slapping but more the head on shoulder and arm touching. That’s usually (in a US context) man-woman stuff.
Here in Japan it’s fairly common to see young, teenage, and young adult boys cuddling each other, sitting on each other’s laps, etc. Older men do too, but usually only in very relaxed social situations like while drinking.
The word used here is the rather delightful portmanteau of “sukinshippu” (skinship).
It must be an age related thing. Among my friends (50s - 60s) if someone mentioned a desire to cuddle it would get very quiet. Then one by one dudes would move on to whatever was next on their agenda, eventually leaving only “cuddles” sitting alone.
Yet overall it’s a gay-friendly group, with many of us having gay children/grandchildren/friends/etc.
The guy is a weirdo. Even if he does subscribe to some subculture of hetero masculinity where platonic cuddling is acceptable, you clearly don’t. For him to keep bringing it up is crossing some, if not many boundaries.
Also, there’s a world’s difference between friends you make off the street and the people you literally go to world with. Then there’s yet another world’s difference between posing for a picture and hugging each other solely because of skin-hunger.
Yes I did. I think he’s pissed off at me. He hasn’t talked to me at all today. He might just be busy, but if he is pissed, I don’t care. I think he MIGHT feel a little embarrassed that I told my story on the internet. If he is, well… payback’s a bitch. It’s not as if I can go to anyone I know with this issue, then his cover would really be blown.
I asked him if he was mad, and he said yes. Well, perhaps he should have stopped when I told him to. Whether he’s kidding or not. But, he might have been being sarcastic when he said he was pissed. In which case, I have no problem with him, and still consider him a friend. But seriously, he has no right to be mad, (if he is mad).
If he’s into men at all, he’s bisexual. But I wouldn’t go so far as to call him that, (he might have been trying to make me feel uncomfortable, in which case, HE MIGHT now feel uncomfortable, and I did nothing he hasn’t done to me). I really don’t know what his deal is. Nor do I care. It’s not as if I haven’t tried to talk to him about this. He asked me why I didn’t talk to him about it before talking about it on the internet… I told him I have and he’s sarcastic about it.
If I did confront him again, he would just do it more and more most likely.
