I disagree that it becomes sexualized necessarily. I guess I’m just blessed with a group of friends that agree with me.
Is my friend hitting on me, messing with me, or are men just getting more comfortable w/ each other?
it concerns me that you are even asking this question. Do you want him to be hitting on you?
I lolled for the first time in days. Thanks.
It’s only gay if you get a boner.
a straight man is not supposed to cuddle with another man
You have just hinted, but not stated whether you are male or female. That would make a difference. I’ve known more than one gay guy who claims they are not. If he wants to cuddle he is gay or bi.
Of course 93% of straight men cuddle with their female. But if they are cuddling with another male they are bi or gay, not straight.
That’s not true, I have personal experiences that show it. Your experience leads you to believe what you say, but neither of us have proof either way. It amazes me when people claim that non-sexual physical affection automatically translates to sexual orientation.
(I’m talking to one of my straight friends right now who is laughing about the automatic gay/bi assumption)
The two men cuddling are straight in this scenario.
nope
I know. And I’ve seen it happen.
That very well might be, but do you believe that to be the norm, or even a sizable minority? I mean, I’ve seen platonic cuddle parties on shows like HBO Real Sex and An Idiot Abroad but I would imagine people who subscribe to this to be in the supreme minority and assume they would at least acknowledge that.
I guess I’m saying that I’m not doubting that you’re witness or even party to nonsexual cuddling but I am questioning your world view concerning this behavior.
I’m not the one making the absolute claim that there are no heterosexual men anywhere that would ever do this. I already said that the guy might be gay or bi. It’s other people that are making absolute claims.
Do women ASK to cuddle? Because I’ve not heard of that, either. I’ve seen women sleep in the same bed and wind up cuddling, and I’ve seen it from drunk women who seem to be into each other, but not just outright asking someone to cuddle.
Anyways, if this was an issue of men feeling more comfortable, I’d expect it to be much more gradual. Cuddling is nearly the closest you can get to being sexual without actually being sexual. (Some people might say kissing is further.) It’s so often a prelude to sexual contact that people often see it as sexual itself.
I would expect non-bro hugs, sitting closer together, casual touching, holding hands, etc. to all come first.
Not that I agree that more acceptance of homosexuality is going to make it more common. In the past, it was lack of awareness of the possibility of men liking men that made such more common. The awareness of homosexuality I think is going to keep some boundaries in place, to avoid sending the wrong signals. I don’t see straight women being quite as intimate with each other anymore, either. At least, not unless they are “experimenting.”
I mean, when I was a kid, I saw women doing things that looked like courtship behaviors.
if a women did ask to cuddle with another woman I hope I am around to see it LOL
You know look at it this way.
If a straight male had a straight female friend, and he was overly touchy and affectionate despite requests to stop or signs of discomfort, is there any doubt she would assume it was sexual in nature or others would assume it was sexual?
I’m guessing the OP is gay or very bi and the younger guy senses it. Or, he at least thinks the OP is gay or bi and really uptight and closeted as so many men were in the OP’s generation. He didn’t handle it right, but he probably had more or less good intentions.
I’ve never known a straight guy to go on and on and obsess over something like this.
OK, after reading along silently for most of the time, as a German, however, I need to toss in my two cents here.
I’m referring to some of the earlier posts, linking to black-and-white pictures of male persons in intimate poses or naked people.
In my (nation’s) defense, I would like to point out that except for the very last pictures there is absolutely NO evidence that those people were actually Germans.
Also, I have come to realize that some aspects of our culture, which especially includes “naturism” has been met with incomprehension or even refusal in other countries or continents.
The fact that we have public naturist areas, which, however (in order to avoid some of you getting a heart attack due to shock after reading this now), are clearly marked and signed, does, by all means, not mean that our culture is more prone to homosexuality than others, rather does it show our tendency towards freedom and naturism.
Most of the pictures that were linked earlier show exactly that: the aspect of naturism. The last one linked even has it written in bold letters across the picture: Freikörper-Kultur = naturism.
For those of you who wish to further do away with some prejudices, here is the official article about naturism in Germany on wikipedia.
And the one about the Free-Body-Culture, the Freikörper-Kultur: Freikörperkultur - Wikipedia
Reminds me of the Boondock Saints…
That sounds like something Ed Gein would invite Jeffrey Dahmer over for.
FWIW, I sometimes cuddle on the couch while watching TV with my cousins, who I’ve been cuddling with since I was a little kid, or my aunt, who has been like my mother, and when I was in high school, all my friends used to cuddle a lot, girls and boys. Sometimes just girls, and sometimes boys and girls together, but never just boys alone.
But I’ve never cuddled with a woman friend I met as an adult, except for two women I dated. (Full disclosure: I’m married to a man, and have been for 13 years; I don’t have any intention of being with anyone else, but if anyone asks, I’m bisexual. I didn’t know that in high school, though, and I don’t think it had any influence on my cuddling behavior with my friends, unless all of us were bisexual.)