I need your help. My wife loves getting into April Fool’s Day and loves to carry on any charade for days to weeks. Well, as expected she announced that she is pregrant. She produced a positive pregancy test and everything.
I honestly don’t believe it and she refuses to take another test while I’m around the house. Does any one know of a way to produce a fake a pregnancy test? I found sugar and cornstarch under the bathroom sink. Could she use this stuff to fake a normal home pregnancy test?
Knowing my wife she would just love to be really pregnant and have me thinking for weeks that it is joke. Plus it’s getting past that time of the month and I’m starting to second guess things.
If not real it’s still not a joke. This is a heart attack serious test by her to guage your reaction. You’re kidding yourself if you think it’s anything else. Do not say anything, even in jest, that would not accurately reflect your opinion if she was really pregnant. Having said that, if it is a joke, it a pretty awful and manipulative way to treat your spouse. There are certain things that should not be joked about and this is one of them.
and I’m terribly sorry about any marital difficulties this causes you. In my defense, she told me she was on the pill and I pulled out, but these things happen.
From this, I think it’s fair to assume that she’s faking it. What other reason is there for refusing to take another test while you are around?
If it were me, I would go along with the joke. Insist that she see an obstetrician right away. If she smokes or drinks, throw away all her cigarettes and booze. Since it’s your kid, you have every right to do these things in an aggressive manner. (Of course you should do these things anyway even if it’s not a joke.) Eventually, she’ll have to 'fess up.
She should simply have an exam by a doc. She shouldn’t have to do him.
But good point, Handy. If she’s not making an appointment for prenatal care right away, something’s wrong.
In all seriousness a false positive home pregnancy test is very rare - either the hCG is there or it isn’t. Some medications might introduce enough of the hormone into the bloodstreem or urine stream to produce a false positive, but those are medications she’d be taking if you all were trying to get pregnant but couldn’t.
Either the recommended Dr.'s exam or puking, crying and finding fault in everything you do over the next 5-weeks will finally settle it once and for all.
If it does turn out to be a rabbit killer, congrats!
If on the other hand it’s bogus, my assumption is she has a unique sense of humor (which kinda put a S.E.G. on my face). That also means turn about is fair play.
My suggestion if it turns out to be bogus; post a topic question on great retributionary pranks which you can pull on her in 364 more days.
As a taker of many pregnancy tests (being a tramp comes with some hazards) I can tell you that most pregnancy tests will read positive after 10 minutes. That’s why you have to look at it before 10 minutes to make sure you get the right result. If she took the pregnancy test 10 minutes before she showed you, it might not be legit.
In case anyone is interested. The wife is pregnant. She just wanted to me think that it was an April Fool’s joke. I’m just wondering how I can introduce some bizarre humor to get even.
But on the bright side, we’re both excited to add to the clan.