The Ryan I WAS taking steps to avoid pregnancy. I was on the pill, regularly, I didn’t miss taking it (at least not at this point, last time I’d missed a pill was a good year before when I was just getting used to remembering to take it every day, including the placebos so I wouldn’t forget)
I was also making sure we used condoms regularly, though I will admit that that one time we didn’t. I won’t make any excuses for that but that’s how things stand.
As to my point what I meant was, certain members of my family have essentially told me that because I am not married, nor in a relationship with the father beyond friend that means that I will be a bad mother. That I will end up shaking my baby and on welfare until my dying day and that I am one single huge disappointment for even getting in this position. That I should never ever have done that without being married first, the ring on my finger, the vows said, wearing a white wedding dress having stood before the priest and vowed before God almighty to love, honor and obey my husband.
I did not go into this intending to get pregnant, and I was taking steps to prevent that. It still happened. Just because my family decided that I am a completely immature, underdeveloped stupid git does not mean that I am. I was but I don’t talk to that side of the family much because no matter what I do it is not good enough. Just because my family had my life planned for me does not mean I am going to follow their plan, especially not when I am an adult and they really have no say in what I do or do not do.
I also do realize that there is a baby involved in this matter. Do you think I just blythely skip along thinking it will be like looking after a doll? Or like when I was a regular babysitter? I realize this will be a tough thing just on principle. It’s a whole new life who will rely completely on me! I will not only have to feed and clothe myself but I will have to feed, clothe and see to the welfare of a completely seperate entity. I often sleep horribly because I worry about this. Not simply that will I be able to do all this but just the fact that I will have this huge responsibility on my shoulders.
That is also why I have, yes, been considering adoption. I have looked into options. I am not just arbitrarily deciding that I will keep my child without even looking at anything else. But I am sick of being pushed from all sides with the idea that at my age and with my marital status that means I must give my baby up for adoption or have had an abortion when I could’ve because I am supposedly in no way shape or means even remotely capable of being a good mother. I do not see my baby as being a ‘mistake’ but sadly others do and they seek to tell me how to correct my ‘mistake’. I am taking responsibility for my actions, and inactions. If others feel I have strayed from the set ‘path’ life should take well screw them. I’ll follow my own path and live up to my responsibilities instead of foisting them off on someone else simply because ‘I should have done this because they would have’
[sub]Note: I do not consider adoption as foisting off mistakes on other people. It is a viable option for those who cannot handle the responsibility of being a parent and gives others who cannot have children the chance to. I have one good friend who had to do this herself only she was much younger at the time. I do not think this option is for me but it is always possible I will change my mind, except for the fact I have been thinking on this before I ever got pregnant simply because I am one of those people who think… well what might I do in a situation like this. You don’t expect the situation to come up but in this case it did.[/sub]
