Every time someone says “I love you” for the first time in movies it’s like a bomb was dropped. Moments of silence follow. Sometime the phrase causes happiness and sometimes it causes weirdness.
Now does the levels of relationships shown in movies reflect real levels in real life? How is an “I love you” a big promotion in the relationship? And what kind of feeling was there if not some sort of love? And do people really make careful calculations before they drop the I-love-you bomb?
I would like to know this as well. In TV series, they always make a big deal out of it (typically male says it too soon). Is it a real thing, or are they hesitating because they don’t want to advance the plot too fast and run out of things to write? (e.g. weddings only take place around the 6th season)
:dubious: You realize that “you’re fun to hang out with and nice to look at, and the sex is (at minimum) decent” is kind of different from “I can’t imagine not having you in my life, I want to be your partner, (optional: have kids with you) and grow old with you,” right? Because most people tend to mean something closer to the latter than the former when they say “love.”
Not with anybody I know personally. With stories it’s necessary to have tension to build suspense, and not being able to say that you love someone is an easy way to build that tension. But for me, my wife, our daughter, our friends, our daughter’s friends, nope, not a problem ever.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me the least romantic person ever speaking, but it seems that many people say it as just the next step in a relationship that’s getting serious, not because it’s all magical or anything. It’s never hit me before like an epiphany that I love someone, and then I had to run to the airport to tell him before it was too late. I think that kind of thing only happens with huge drama llamas.
You know, I would be able to give a more rational answer to this if I hadn’t just watched Torchwood: Children of Earth - Day 4 yesterday. runs away sobbing “Ianto”
This is the exact mistake my husband made back in the day! He said these scary and disturbing words way too soon and regretted doing so as I would not talk to him for three or four days! I also missed his birthday that happened to be a few days after the bomb :smack:
We’re together 9 years now and married for a year so the damage was not permanent.
I know I was scared senseless the first few time that phrase tried to move from my brain through my lips. It came out “I, um, really care for you” or “I like you…alot”. The first time “I love you” actuually came out I was more nervous than when I eventually proposed.
I guess it was OK, though. We’e been together for 31 years, 25 married.
It’s only a source of weirdness if someone says it way too soon at the start of a relationship. It takes a little while to get to know one another, and if one person decides they’re “in love” after three movie-and-smalltalk dates, that’s a little strange.
The first “I Love You” in a relationship requires a response. And any delay is seen as a negative response.
It is much like the stereotypical bomb defusing situation seen in many movies.
“Do I cut the blue wire or the red wire?” Blue wire or red wire? Think quickly!! Seconds matter, even partial seconds matter, and you had damn well give the right answer the first time. You don’t get a second chance.
Blue wire? Red wire?
“I Love You too! I was waiting for the right time to tell you.” Or some variation of that, is how you get out alive without the whole thing blowing up right in your face.