I’m curious, how long were you in your relationship before you said “I love you”?
For me, the first time, it was pretty early on (estimate 1 month), but I had known that girl for several years, and had dated her previously. That was the last time and it was many years ago. Now, I have a new girlfriend, and she has been fishing for me to say it, but I haven’t (neither has she – I get the feeling she won’t until I do), and I’m not certain about my feelings yet.
as soon as you’re absolutely sure.
Not a moment before not a moment after.
In my Experience., delaying or pre-empting is often fatal.
That is a tough question. I have said it too early and to late.
Hopefully you get better feed back.
I said it too early, but I was young and stupid back then.
I said it about three weeks after we started dating. For the next six months after that, she flat out refused to believe me when I said it. She was quite happy to date me, but was still on a bit of an ego trip just having a boyfriend (She had never really dated anyone before me). It was a long an soul-torturing six months for me, not hearing her say that she loved me too. Fortunately what I had in stupidity I made up for in tenacity because it worked out in the end when she finally realized she did love me, and told me so.
That was a mighty fine day, it was!
We’ve been married now for 13 awesome years.
I blurted it out…assuming you can blurt in e-mail. He sent me a picture that was (while pornographic) intimate and touching. I couldn’t help myself.
That was about at the three week mark. I then backpedaled furiously. And we danced around it for about the next month. From “I luv you” to I l*ve you…to the real thing. Was about two months. Been saying it ever since.
I’ve been eeked out by it before. So I think I’m tending to wait based on that. I got one comin’ though.
It’s such a weird thing- and it seems like it’s the same for everyone. Ideally you’ll both just blurt it out at the same time, like a simultaneous emotional orgasm.
Soooo… I can say, longer than five months.
My current boyfriend said it to me after 3 months and 12 days; I said it back to him 5 days later. 
In my experience, 1-3 months is pretty normal. Last girlfriend, it was on the 4th date. That may have been a mistake.
Five minutes, or after I’ve paid her (whichever comes first).
I was engaged to her after 6 weeks, so it was before that. Probably the second or third date, I’d say. It didn’t take long to figure out that she was the one, since I’d had about 14 years of experience with women who weren’t.
Aside from my wife, I’ve only told three other women I loved them. In hindsight, I only meant it for one of them. It probably took a couple of months before I told her.
Another vote for saying it when it becomes true. It seems like the sort of thing that varies. My problem is that it isn’t unusual for me to tell my friends that I love them. All of the people I’ve dated were friends first, so there was an odd period of time where I had to watch myself to prevent unintentional declarations. As far as a proper timescale, it’s been anywhere from a month to a year for me.
I was never superstitious about the phrase so I probably said it to every girlfriend I had once we became boyfriend-girlfriend.
I’ve even said it to some very close female friends.
I’m a guy, I usually don’t say it until 4-6 months in. I also don’t say it first, my opinion is that women choose men.
In the case of both girlfriends with whom I’ve said it to, I said it between 1 and 3 months. Of course, it is different for everybody, and you should just say it when you truly feel it, and not worry about what anybody else might think.
True, but if you say it and don’t get a return I love you, that’s one big matzo ball hanging out there.
Aye, I prefer to keep it pretty much to myself (apart from obliquely) until they come around on their own. No pressure, right?
Of course, it’s a little weird to live with a woman for six months before getting to the stage where those little declarations aren’t surprising and a little awkward, isn’t it?
That is very true. Fortunately for me, in the one case where I was the initial person to say it, it was quickly reciprocated.
My Guy and I fell really hard for each other from the very first. We both knew, immediately, that this was The Big One. He said it first and I responded like an echo, after maybe a couple weeks. And after almost 20 years, we still say it, even though we don’t need to.
5 months after I started dating my current girlfriend…
about 1.5 years after I started dating my previous girlfriend
Do it when you feel the time is right or when your trying to score 