As I’m reading this a certain James Bond action sequence came to mind. Change the horses to modified Lotuses and we could re-introduce this in the 2030 games. Sure to be a hit.
Nah, underwater driving would be in the Summer games 
Pretty much all ball sports are soccer. Basketball is bouncy soccer. Baseball and cricket are stick soccer. Water polo is pool soccer. American football is full-contact soccer. Lacrosse is throwing soccer. Tennis/pickleball/volleyball/badminton are one-net soccer. Racquetball and squash are wall soccer. Dodgeball is no-net soccer. Curling is rock soccer. They’re all basically “put the thing in the thing” or more specifically, “put the thing through/past the thing, while the opposing team tries to stop you.” Golf (even more boring soccer) and bowling (knock things down soccer) use scoring instead of direct competitors.
Baseball is not soccer. It’s rounders. Or maybe croquet.
I suppose you also don’t agree that all foods are tacos? 
Olympic Getting Off The Bus In Winter When They Haven’t Cleared The Snow Banks In Three Weeks.
I’m pretty sure they were drinking when they invented this:
Demean the Winter Olympics?
Most of the sports involve careening downhill 80 miles an hour with nothing to protect you but a helmet. Or dancing on rock hard ice, spinning and turning (and flipping) with knives on your feet. Or jumping 100 meters, or skiing off a hill flipping and turning… again with nothing to protect you but a helmet.
I saw a guy on the downhill fly the same distance as Evel Knevil did at Caesars (~150ft). And that MFer wasn’t even trying to jump, he was just trying to get to the bottom as fast as possible.
The Winter Olympics is like the Summer Olympics after some teenagers invent ways to make the sport more dangerous.
Driving without crashing. It is the opposite of sliding if done correctly.
My recollection of the various Bond movies as separate stories is pretty soft. To me it’s more one big blur of ridiculous chases, close scrapes, and hot eye candy.
But there’s one movie where he & she are in IIRC Switzerland and chased by baddies w machine guns. he / they end up skiing downhill, shot at a bunch, somehow end up going downhill in some car, etc. And somehow evade the baddies and live to make to a fancy hotel in time for dinner & sex before the baddies return.
That’s the one I’m thinking of.
Croquet is mallet soccer.
Sounds like they just made a minor change to the modern pentathlon to call it a winter event.
I’ve sometimes wondered if there could be a proper x-athlon in the Winter Games. Some combination of downhill skiing, cross-country skiing, speedskating, and sliding, with a good mix of sprint and endurance distances.
Would the cars curve (controlably, predictably) as they slide down the ice? Curling wouldn’t be curling without that.
I’m not sure that really narrows things down all that much.
When I did cross country skiing in high school, we had one race that was practically this. It was at a local ski hill, and it had a five kilometer loop that was essentially, “Ski around behind the hill, climb the hill, then ski down it.” We did it all on cross-country skis, but for an Olympic team, switching skis at the summit wouldn’t be difficult. Add some shooting just before the “climb the hill” part and you’ve got a triathlon right there.
I agree that soccer, hockey, basketball, lacrosse, and water polo are all basically the same game. But i think the tennis family (tennis, pickleball, volleyball, badminton, squash, table tennis) are a different game. And golf (mini golf, croquet) are a different game.
Golf is just long-range hockey.
Agreed. IMO @jjakucyk takes the idea of game similarity way too far.
More like long-range billiards.
Billiards is just heavy darts.