Even better: carling. Instead of rocks, like in curling, they use cars. Drive them across a lake, hit the brakes, slide to a stop. Closest to an agreed-upon spot wins.
Sounds like it could be fun to watch, actually.
Do you get a bonus if your car falls through the ice into the lake? It would be fun to watch, anyway! 
I would think that if your car fell through the ice, it would be an automatic disqualification.
But the rules aren’t fully fleshed-out yet, so maybe some sort of bonus could be arranged. Maybe covering the cost of a tow truck in the spring?
Bonus points if it’s not your car. Borrowing a neighbor’s car and sinking it shows exceptional judgement.
Seems like drinking should be part of the competition as well.
The Men’s Road Cycling race at Paris was 273 Kms. The women’s was 157 Kms.
Exactly! It’s not the process, it’s the skill level achieved in employing it.
I think @Spoon’s carling has great potential.
But we need to include some more of the curling rules & play action. My modest proposals:
-
There is a designated spot to get closest to. And you can slide your car into cars already there to bump them out of the way and leave yours in a good scoring position.
-
With, ref @wolfpup, some serious bonus points if you cause an opponent car to sink. Or catch fire.
-
Maybe have something done with teammates driving Zambonis that mimics the brooming action of curling. But they’d have to be very fast Zambonis.
Artist’s rendering:
I’m sure beer would be involved.
I confess that one of my guilty pleasures is watching YouTube compilations of wintertime ice and snow bumper cars. The only thing wackier than Russian or Chinese drivers in the summer is the same folks in winter. Handy (for me) that both countries have plenty of cold and snow in their major cities.
Americans too of course; extra points for hurry and aggression in a pickup truck They roll over so beautifully once they’ve spun a time or two.
I can’t be arsed to look it up. Is there or has there ever been snowshoeing events?
What about ice climbing?
I’ve got two additional ones
- Fat tire bikes
Because of a dearly departed Doper, I have driven thousands of miles & spent double-digit # of nights in hotels for it’s the original form of biathlon, that does not include sliding
- Primitive Biathlon
A primitive biathlon is a fun and challenging wilderness competition of target shooting and (preferably wooden & gut) snowshoeing; some races even give a time discount bonus to those in appropriate period attire. The event is open to all muzzleloading firearm enthusiast, regardless of their skill level or athletic ability. There is one this weekend in Southern Vermont; sadly I won’t be there participating.
The ice rescuer in me shudders!
No, there have never been ice climbing or snowshoeing in the Olympics. There have been some retired events such as dog sled, skijoring (skiers pulled by horses), Bandy (a precursor to hockey), speed skiing, and military patrol (a precursor to biathalon). I think they were all only held once as actual medal events.
Winter Pentathalon was a demonstration sport in 1948. It had cross-country skiing, fencing, downhill skiing, shooting, and horseback riding. I’m guessing that at least the fencing and shooting didn’t involve any sliding. I guess horseback riding was impacted by snow, but isn’t sliding.
Would sled dog racing be considered cruel?
There are various events I’ve seen at winter festivals that don’t show up in the Olympics, like the various lumberjack events. My high school actually had some as part of the winter Carnival: they’d get poles that had to be climbed up in a race, then sawed down in pieces and cut into pieces (I don’t remember the rules). It was kind of cool to watch.
I’m kind of surprised there’s no snowshoe based events, now that I think of it.
It’s a matter of debate, largely (AFAICT) based on where you fall on the animal-rights spectrum.
My understanding is that, yes, long-distance races, in particular, can be hard on the dogs (for example, its common for a handful of dogs to die during the Iditarod race), and some owners/trainers may treat the dogs better than others. OTOH, a musher who doesn’t have healthy, well-fed, well-kept dogs likely doesn’t win often.
I competed in lumberjack competitions during college and right after. I was a pole climber, but the 30’ version we have in the east not the big ones they have out west. It wasn’t common but after the climbing is done they would occasionally do an event called Felling and Twitching, which involves dropping the pole, then dragging it and loading it up on a “wagon”. We did some winter meets, and since most logging around here was done in winter it’s partly realistic. But most of our meets were in spring. Lots of mud.
New events Olympics - Spring & Fall!
For some of the events, we could do lumberjack stuff & cleaning, which I predict will be dominated by hotel maids 
in the Spring & raking leaves in the Fall. Any others?
Both Freestyle and Figure Lawn Mowing.
Naturally, just as in real curling, Carling would involve aiming your car in such a way so as to bump opponents’ cars farther away from the target spot, while hopefully putting your car closer. Basically, it’s a “closest to the target spot” game, just like real curling.
And yes, beer would have to be involved.