On Facebook we sometimes joke around. Well the other day one of my Facebook friends was wearing this low cut dress that really highlighted her…lets just say chest. She looked awesome. One of the women said “You know how to work that dress” and she said her daughter went “Oh my Mom”. Most people just pointed out just how beautiful she looked and she really enjoyed the compliments. PS. it’s funny how other women can say things about boobage but men are not.
Well being in a playful mood I considered (but I didnt do it) saying something playful like that “you have 2 really beautiful … ears. Or eyes. Or earrings” or something. But, stopped because I couldnt think of anything that wouldn’t make me sound like a creep so I just said “You look good”.
So is there anything a man can say complimenting a womans body without a Facebook equivalent to getting his face slapped or do we men have to just pretend we dont notice?
“You look good” is enough. “You know how to work that dress” also works, if you’re not a stranger. And I don’t see any reference to boobage there, at least not outright.
She is not stupid, she knows very well what her dress accentuates and what makes it look good. Just by saying the above, she can infer you also find that her boobs look good.
Perhaps the reason woman can comment with other women about boobs is that they’re close friends, and between close friends, there is more leeway. It’d be slightly awkward if some of my female coworkers mentioned something about my boobs, but if my close female friend says it, I’d be OK with it. Similar, I don’t want men I’m not familiar with commenting on my boobs, but when one of my good friends makes a comment while talking “Blablabla, oh your boobs look nice. blablablabla”, and carries on conversation, I’m fine with it.
I think a man focussing on a single body part (other than eyes) can feel a bit creepy. It’s safer and more complimentary to comment on the entire package. You can appreciate various aspects of the package quietly to yourself
To women, boobs are generally just boobs. They can be big or small, and played up or played down, but we rarely invest the kind of emotional attachment to them that we might with a slim figure or a nice face.
So complimenting someone’s boobs, outside of a sexual relationship, just doesn’t feel like that much of a compliment- which in turn makes it creepy.
When women say to each other “your boobs look good” they aren’t literally complimenting the actual form of the boobs. They are jokingly saying “Wow that dress shows some cleavage!”
It depends on how well you know the woman in question and what the dynamics of your relationship are. There are maybe a couple of women I’d say it to, everyone else not so much.
If you don’t know her well just keep limit it to “Nice Blouse!”.*
If you know her a little better then your eyeballs should pop about 1 foot out of your head, your hat should fly up in in the air, your bow tie should spin like a propeller, your tongue should roll out of your mouth and down to the floor like a red carpet, smoke should shoot out of your ears, and there should be a loud Ah-Ooo-Gah sound. She’s not going to be impressed with anything less.
The only man I can think of who could say this to me and not creep me out would be my very best friend, who happens to be a straight (and married) man. I know he means it in a factual, uplifting and completely-devoid-of-sex way.
I can’t think of any of my other male friends saying this to me, because they are not creepers.
I’m sorry you feel so put-upon and have to work so hard to pretend that you don’t notice nice boobies. :rolleyes:
You made the smart move. As a general rule, most people, especially women, are well aware of what features a particular photo or outfit accentuates, particularly if they’re posting a photo of it in social media. That is, it’s one thing if someone is posing with friends at a party, but they definitely know what they’re drawing attention to when it’s a selfie or a picture of an outfit. As such, it’s not only unnecessary to compliment whatever body part they’re drawing attention to, but it’d be downright awkward if it’s someone that’s primarily sexual, like boobs, ass, whatever. Further, generally, I think someone is going to respond better to “you look beautiful” or “that dress looks great”, especially since, other than perhaps a special bra–which again would be awkward to comment on–there’s not really anything she can do to meaningfully change how her breasts look other than choosing how much or how little to show off.
Think of it from a guy’s perspective. Men do the same sort of thing, they’re just showing off other physical attributes. It would be just as weird on facebook to mention how cute his butt looks in a new pair of pants or how sexy a shirt makes his pecs look or whatever. Well, at least I’d find it awkward if a female friend or acquaintance of mine made those kind of comments.
Remember that when you post on FB you’re not talking to her. You’re talking to her and all her “friends”, relatives, co-workers, and maybe half the damn planet.
Even if your relationship with her can support a comment like “That’s a very flattering dress”, or even “Nice tits”, it’s a darn good bet a lot of the spectators to your conversation will think you’re out of line. How does inciting that peanut gallery and their likely comments improve your life or her life?
I believe there was an old rule of etiquette that said you shouldn’t speak to a person directly until somebody had introduced that person to you.
That rule has mostly fallen to the side but it still applies in this situation. A man should not speak directly about a woman’s breasts until the woman has chosen to introduce you to them.
It’s really all about your relationship with this woman. Her female friends can say a lot and not ever be suspected of being a creeper. Men, not so much. Depending, of course, on your relationship.
If you’re good with each other, friendly and often engage in light banter, nothing’s wrong with remarking, I think. But nothing trashy please.
