Tell people there will be strippers and porn
Certainly, specify that kids aren’t invited. But I would like to point out that those people who can’t read invitations also, often, don’t know how to write them, either.
My family had 6 kids. More than once my parents returned from a wedding, graduation party, etc to pick us up and bring us to the party. The bride, graduate, etc would exclaim, “Where are your kids? Of course the kids were invited, we assumed it was understood.” The invitations had been addressed to “Mr. & Mrs.” People have also phoned upon receipt of a response to ask if “2” was really correct because they expected the kids to come.
So by all means invite whom you want. But some parents may phone for clarification not because they’re deeply invested in bringing the kids, but because they want to know they understood the invitation correctly.
Phrased like this, you make it sound like people who have big, friendly back-yard weddings with kids are somehow doing something wrong.
I’d never bring my son to a wedding he wasn’t invited to. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with inviting kids to a wedding.
Depends on the wedding. (and maybe the kid :eek: )
My husband and I are DINKs and I like to throw dinner parties, so this problem occurs frequently for us. There is ample ground for confusion because my husband throws gaming parties for this same crowd, at which kids are welcome.
So we generally issue invitations by email, and (depending on the nature of the party), let them know who the other guests are and say something like, “We hope you can come, but understand if you can’t find a sitter,” to the ones with kids. And we make a point of saying “kids are welcome!” on the invites to the stuff where they are. Fortunately, our friends are not the sort who are easily offended. They also generally feel that a free 4 course dinner, and a night free of children, is worth finding a sitter. YMMV on those points.
There isn’t. But most of the weddings I’ve attended were not informal backyard affairs, they were in a church, banquet hall or some other formal setting. Bottom line, parents should never assume their kids are invited unless the kids’ names are on the invitation or they’ve cleared it with the bride and groom.
As a father, I can tell you, that if the hosts doesn’t have any kids, it’s a given that the party is going to be adults only. Still though, nothing wrong with being straight forward. I can’t imagine who would take offense at such a thing.
In this case, I’d just tell the story. It makes sense.
I agree not to be offended if they can’t make it. Childcare is expensive and not easy to arrange.
Nope, not true. We have no kids, and about half of our parties are kid-friendly. We want to see our friends who have kids. We like their kids, for the most part (there are bratty exceptions).
Everybody’s different, though. I don’t have any kids of my own and won’t. I am really pretty happy to not have any of my own, but I actually like kids in small doses. I’ve done some volunteering at church and I love hosting backyard parties with all the kids invited. Three hours of enjoying other people’s kids is lots of fun for me… and the best part is that they go home at the end of the night! Someone else has to wipe their butts, brush their teeth and get them up for school the next morning.
Anyway, circling around to the invitations issue, I tend to be pretty specific to avoid any confusion. It’s either “bring the whole family” or an “evening for adults” or something else that couldn’t be mistaken for what I intended. Anytime you leave something implied or unsaid on an invitation, someone will misread it. I’m not sure whether it’s an intentional mis-reading, something accidentally assumed, or differences in the way people were raised, but if you send out four invitations or more, you have to assume at least one mistaken assumption on each unstated element.
(For example, I’m surprised by some of the mixed opinions on weddings. I thought that wedding invitations automatically include kids. I’ve never been to a wedding where the kids weren’t invited. Admittedly, that’s only five or so weddings, but it would never even occur to me that kids were not assumed unless you said “adults only.”)
Tell them another guest is a sex offender.
Same here about the weddings. We went to a couple of weddings when the Kiddo was small that we got a baby sitter for. Both times people asked us where he was and expressed that they were looking forward to seeing him. Our reason for not bringing him was not so much because he wasn’t on the invitation, but because we wanted to enjoy ourselves without one of us having to look after him. His name was not on the invitation, but people clearly expected him to be there.
Plain English. No subtlety.
Half of parents will assume all kids are always included unless explicitly excluded and half will assume all kids are always excluded unless explicitly included. So don’t leave yourself guessing which kind they are and don’t leave them guessing which kind you are.
If the OP is really so worried about what the one wife will think, then either man up and ask the husband in Plain English whether a no-kids invite would be welcome, or just play safe by not inviting the couple at all.
Plain English: It’s not as hard as you think it is.
Just put “21 and over - ID required” at the bottom of the invite and hire a couple of sketchy bouncers to man the door.
One twist on this.
We were invited to an event at someones house and it was adults only. We and the other 2 couples all had to pay for babysitters for our kids.
BUT, the host family had 4 kids and they were all there and running around and being a part of things also.
I was totally pissed. Just because they have the “home court” advantage so to speak, then they felt they had the right to have their own kids there and not have to pay for a babysitter like we all had to.
Strip clubs are just plain cheesy. I can’t say the name without memories of horrible smells coming to mind. I can’t think of a better way to alienate friends unless its all guys & a bachelor party.
Casino? Ok, that depends. If people are expected to hang out of the floor where the constant bell-clanging of the slots keeps Tylenol in business, a lot of people are going to pass. Even people who take the bus generally split up
at the bus stop and meet different places at a pre-designated time.
If there is a concert or a show or a booked conference room or even a suite of rooms… that could work. Trop World used to have a really cool double suite for rent with access doors on two different floors of the hotel
and a chrome spiral staircase between them. It made for a really cool cocktail party for a group of friends… and it was a nice place to meet and crash after the events of the evening were over.
if it offends them, you didn’t want them there anyway.
I’m sorry, I recognize each word on its own but together they’re just gibberish. 
Yes, please. There are a fair number of social events that I’d like to go to, but not enough to budget for one of our few nights-out-with-babysitters. We only get a handful of those every year and prefer to save them for date nights with just us.
So often if there’s a party I’m invited to, I’ll ask if it’s kid-friendly, in the most gracious, non-pressuring language I know. And most of the time I’m told, “Absolutely! Bring the kids!” Which is great. Except for the times when I show up, and the house is absolutely not prepared for kids (no childproofing, no activities for kids, and most importantly, no other kids), so basically I have to carry the kid for the whole party until I leave early.
I’m not gonna let my kids run rampant in any case, but if your house has delicate stuff at kid-level, please just tell me to leave the kids at home. I promise I won’t be offended!
Unchildproof homes terrify me. If I have the kid then my night is ruined because I refuse to be that parent who lets their kid run amok and break stuff, so I’m hyper-vigilant the entire evening. If I knew I was going to do that much work I’d have rather stayed home. It would have been easier on the nerves.
The wife had a friend who invited us to their home to play board games. I really wanted to go but they don’t have kids and I’d be worried the entire time. Luckily they were able to come to our place where if my daughter writes on the walls it’s ok. Well, not ok. We’re still working on the whole “paper” thing and I’d be rather unhappy about having to clean that up. But at least I don’t feel guilty about it.