Is there a problem with being an online dating addict?

It isn’t quite like that although it would be awesome if Amazon sold customized girlfriends on demand. It is just the same thing as old-school bars and nightclubs on a much larger scale. It tends to screw with your brain. Things are fine when you have 10 women to choose from. It is very different when you literally have thousands. I play it like a video game. You won’t get them all but you will get some if you play the right way and the supply never ends because there are new ones every single day. It will drive you insane. Too many choices. That is what my father calls “a good problem to have” but it is still a problem.

Where do you find the time to do all the things that you claim you do?

Clearly I have no reason for concern as to the security of your account.

I wish you the best of luck in figuring out why a woman would ghost such a quiet, humble guy.

Are they? It really just boils down to people trying to meet people. Maybe you’re having a hard time because you’re the only one following these rules.

There is no claim to it. It is all true. Do you want you go out? I can send you my Match profile? Efficiency and divorce is the key. That frees up a whole lot of time even with kids.

I may be an addict as well, but, fortunately, it doesn’t really eat up too much of my time. I’d be lucky to get three dates a year.

You just finished a twelve page thread on the same thing.

Consider reading it again and taking the comments to heart.

What it comes down to is that you are a player who is not mature enough for a real relationship.

All right then, I’ll tell you. But just remember that you asked.

Somebody above identified the problem as your categorization of the woman as “Jewish.” That is incorrect. The problem is “heiress” and “10.” You need to categorize and rate because how else can you calculate your Return on Investment?

Trouble is, you don’t know what you are investing in, or for. You started out at 36 trying to figure out how to get a date, and you got very good at that. But you are stuck at about the 15-year-old level when it comes to divining what dating is for.

You will never achieve any sort of satisfaction until you stop viewing dating as a transaction. Your professional sexual experiences have confused you. This is not business.

Theeeere’s your trouble. The skills you built are not the ones that will achieve your real goal.

You are going out with women all the time, but you are lonely. Because your soul is not showing up for the dates. Give him a seat in the selection process, and maybe he’ll agree to tag along.

Your methods and skills for getting dates do not include genuine interaction. You need someone with whom you can be real. And before you can do that, you need to figure out who you are.

Somewhere you also mentioned doing things you want to do and just bringing them along. Start doing what you want to do alone. Look around, and see who else is there. Make it your goal to make friends. Don’t date anyone you haven’t already been a friend to.

You have been lucky in the sense that you’ve had a chance to burn out on the “player” level. Most guys waste their marriages dreaming about playing-thinking it would be heaven; you are reluctantly admitting that it’s really not. It’s a Potempkin village, and you want one where you can actually settle down and get to know people.

You make a lot of really good points but this is the one I will dispute. It is really hard to go from a female-male friend relationship into a romantic one. It certainly happens but it takes time that I don’t have. I am a fast mover.

I already have plenty of very serious female friends as well as two daughters that are the most important people to me in the world. It is really hard for me to place a potential girlfriend. Let’s face facts, the whole role is to screw, be pretty and responsible. I don’t need anything else. Otherwise, she is just a drain on resources. I can be as sweet as they come but I am not running a charity. I have an ex-wife (with an emphasis on the ex) that is an executive vice-president for a large company. That type of thing isn’t attractive to me. The money is good but they make poor partners.

I can’t possibly see why a charmer like you is being ghosted.

Wait. Do you just want to screw a pretty and responsible woman, or do you want a relationship?

Guin, you have still never accepted my date request. We could have a hell of a time at a restaurant of your choice. My treat.

He wants the benefits of a relationship without the commitment.

This is a very chilling description of what you want in a life partner. Good luck finding the android woman you are seeking.

Apparently, Real Dolls are becoming quite advanced. It shouldn’t be too long now.


Truly skilled is when they are spoiling you.

No, it isn’t quite as bad as that. I have already met women that I really want to be with. They are very rare but they do exist. I already know two perfect matches for me and I thought my current one was another but maybe not. There is a lid for every pot but it can take some work to find one. You have to cycle through a whole lot of people before you find a true match.

As I am writing this, I have a Russian/Spanish woman from the most expensive zip code in the Boston area writing me. She is legit and really beautiful as far as I can tell like a childhood dream. I will go out with her in a heartbeat. This stuff gets ridiculous. I want her to teach me how to play poker and she wants to teach me.

The problem is that those types of offers come in daily. On Bumble just this week, I have communicated with two doctors, two lawyers and three corporate executives plus a metric shit-ton of other professionals. The number of beautiful, successful but lonely women out there is ridiculous. I think that is going to be my charity.

Shag, JIMHO, you’ve gone from a regular poster to someone who is continually tooting their own horn over the years. In the old days I respected your persona and opinions, but in recent times all I can do is roll my eyes mate.

Maybe get over yourself, your wealth, your family connections, and your appeal to women who you get to fuck once and then they piss off…just sayin’

And yet, after meeting you-they ghost. Something to think about. You seem emotionally empty. Everything is ROI for you.