Right, but your dismissing everything I say because I’m an addict and clearly incapable of rational thought - oh, that was perfectly appropriate, right? No, it wasn’t, though it was an excellent illustration of your ignorance when it comes to the medical model of addiction. I guess you feel that spouting insulting psychobabble is an appropriate way to argue? Besides, you were “talking out of your ass” - you were exaggerating the unpleasantness of cigarette smoke beyond recognition. When I appraised your statements, I might not have been being generous but I was right.
Once again, I’m going to do my best to believe that not all non-smokers are as self-righteous as you, and nyctea, and many of the other people who post in these sorts of threads. If I ever have the misfortune of meeting you, though, I’ll be sure to blow smoke in your face. You’ve long-since given up any right to criticize my behavior in this thread, DrDeth. But I guess hypocrisy goes nicely with your self-righteousness, doesn’t it?
I believe that WhyNot’s point was that no one can speak for “most” or “the majority” of any people, and I think it’s a little arrogant to assume otherwise. I’m another nonsmoker who doesn’t find the smell of smokers to be anywhere near as bad as what’s been melodramatically described in this thread, so that’s at least two nonsmokers you sure aren’t speaking for.
All some of us are asking is for others to drop the broad brushes and just speak for themselves.
[QUOTE=davenportavenger nyctea IS being self-righteous. Nobody’s really denying that one.[/QUOTE]
Please, explain to me how supporting the OP and saying that yes, smoke smells bad, and I too think that (many or most) smokers smell bad, and it sometimes makes me feel sick too… how is this SELF-RIGHTEOUS? I truly don’t get it.
Isn’t it obvious that if you’re inhaling a certain odor, and surrounded by a certain odor as you inhale it, that you and your clothes might smell like that odor? How is stating the obvious being self-righteous?
How can you think there is any comparison? You are a drug addict. (So am I, for that matter, as I’m also a smoker.) The sampler of comments collected in post #59 are far too confrontational for IMHO. In my moderator’s opinion.
[Official Moderator Warning]Excalibre, I am giving you a second official warning because you completely ignored the first one and continued to insult and attack others. You will not be told to bahave again.[/Official Moderator Warning]
Because I don’t believe he was equally rude, else I’d have included him in my note. The only thing that was even close was his comment about your being in deep denial.
Sheesh, Excalibre, you’ve made some good points in the thread, and asked the OP a very good question (which neither the OP nor any other anti-smoker has answered), and if you could have just left out the nasty remarks, neither I nor Czarcasm would have had a problem.
[Moderator Underoos On]Not really-we just responded at the same time. Just for the record, btw, if anyone wants to get on my bad side, just try using the old “But Whatsisname did it too!” argument. If Whatsisname does something bad, you can either report it or ignore it-there is NO third option.[/Moderator Underoos On]
I guess I’m not quite as skilled as DrDeth at skating right on the line, am I? In fact, I can’t really tell where it is. To me, it seems awfully rude - jerkish, even - to begin arguing with someone and then entirely dismiss their responses not on their merits but because of some aspect of their personal life. Clearly either the rules are being applied differently to different posters, or you guys have a rather mysterious way of defining what’s acceptable and what’s not. I guess the idea is to be as deliberately inflammatory as you can without crossing some invisible line, huh? I’ve never been very good at that kind of thing.
There is nothing you can say to a person to make them quit smoking if they do not already want to quit.
My ex boyfriend tried it. It’s one of the leading reasons he is my ex boyfriend. Among some other things he did that bothered me, he wouldn’t stop telling me about smoking.
He had no ability to accept that whether I smoked or not was my decision, so he’s gone. He was a nag about it, that whole ‘You have to change for me.’ thing. Now he can nag someone else.
Umm…Dude? I wasn’t referring to your post. I was referring to another poster who specifically said they knew of people who threw out half their wardrobes and couches because of the smell.
My husband has also stopped many times. He used the patch the last time, and he hasn’t smoked for four or five years now. It was very hard for him, but he finally did it.
For those keeping score at home, he didn’t smoke (tobacco, anyway) while we were dating. He took up smoking in the Air Force, because smokers got smoke breaks and nonsmokers got assigned to pick up the area during the smokers’ breaks (this could be the subject of a Pit rant, so I’ll leave it there). We were engaged while he was in the AF, and while he was overseas, he was so overcome with loneliness (or horniness) that he flew back to the States and wanted to get married RIGHT NOW. We got married in three days…it took three days for the blood tests. He swore he’d quit smoking after we were married. It took him over 20 years to do so.
My advise is not to believe in promises, just don’t date someone with a different smoking status than you.
Apparently someone hasn’t heard of a little concept called “it’s not what you say but how you say it”…
I’ve noticed in quite a few threads nyctea that you appear to have a very high opinion of yourself and a fairly low tolerance for opinions you don’t agree with. If that impression is far off the mark, you may want to re-think how you express yourself in your posts.
This is actually probably not the best time for my dude to quit smoking (or for me to help him out with it). We’re doing the long-distance thing right now while I’m in grad school, and won’t see each other on a regular basis until October, and then I’m leaving for Peace Corps in January.
We started dating last fall while I was doing the hurricane refugee thing for the semester, and neither of us intended for it to get really serious… but here we are all these months later and still really dig each other, and we’ve been faithful to each other all along, so I guess we might be in this for the long haul. We get along great and I love hanging out with him, except for when he’s smoking (hence the OP).
I’ve always hated the smell of his cigarettes, but I promised not to badger him about it when we started dating, and I haven’t. This has been hard as hell for me, because God knows I usually can’t keep my mouth shut when something bothers me, but I’ve been good about it, like I said. It’s just that this past weekend when we hung out, I got a whiff of smoke from his breath when we were, um, getting intimate, and it turned my stomach for some reason, which has never happened before. I guess I just don’t understand what having an addiction means, and don’t see why, if he said he’s trying to quit, he can’t just throw them away and be done with it.
So that’s my situation. Feel free to fire away some more if necessary.