I’m sure this has been posted about before, but I need some perspective, so I’m turning to my Doper buds for your advice…
There’s this cute lady who works as a discharge planner at our hospital and I’ve been told she is interested in me and wouldn’t mind going out sometime.
Well I would like very much to ask her out, but she smokes, which goes against the grain of what I do for a living and also I don’t like the smell. But hell, maybe I do something she doesn’t like! (I like my German beer and when I can’t get it, I have been known to consume a bottle of white wine on occasion). So I am wondering if maybe I’m being a little too discerning, and need to “back my ears” (as we say in the south) and go for it.
Are any of y’all in smoking/non-smoking relationships, and how are you geting around it? Let me hear from ya’!
I hate cigarettes. Can’t stand them at all and used to always say I’d never be in a relationship with a smoker. Then I kissed a (light) smoker for the first time a year or two ago and I couldn’t really tell the difference.
I’m a smoker and my husband is not. He is a health nut and I am not (at least not to the extent he is, anyway). I made a promise to quit after we were married, I tried and failed, tried again and failed again. Since then he mentions it daily, directly and indirectly. You may, some day soon, see my name in the newspapers.
Do not subject yourself to a certain death, Quasimodem, and I am not referring to cancer.
My husband is a smoker. I knew he was before we married. I didn’t mind at first, but as the years have gone by, it bothers me more and more. I’m such a hygiene (did i spell that right?) freak. Soooo now we don’t kiss as much because I HATE IT. I make him brush his teeth first. Now I know when he wants nookie, because I can smell the minty freshness
To wrap it up…He’s not allowed to smoke in the house. Or when I’m eating. And he abides by these rules. It can work, really. Besides, I have faith he will one day quit When he’s hacking up his toes, that is. Or we have a baby. Whichever comes first.
I swore I’d never date a smoker too, but the fellow I’m seeing now is such a sweetheart he got past both the anti-smoking rule AND my “no one with hair longer than mine” rule. I’m starting to like the hair, and not nagging but hoping he will quit soon. He wants to.
He doesn’t smoke around me, but I can taste it sometimes and it is rather icky.
Go for it, as long as you are comfortable with the idea that every kiss will taste like the Reaper just spat down your throat. Or you could never kiss her at all I guess. I always liked the idea of celibate marriage.
If you do decide to date a smoker there are a few things that you have to get over first.
The smell- Regardless of what a smoker does, the smell is always there in some way. It can either be on their breath, in their clothes, on their hands, cars, etc.
The taste- You can’t stop everything and go and brush your teeth just so you can kiss. It takes away from the kiss and really kills the mood.
The preaching- As a smoker I hear it daily about how I should quit and how bad it is for me. I know all these things. I’m sick of hearing it. Plus it gives an overall feeling that I’m being placed below a nonsmoker. It’s rather insulting.
If you can overlook these things, not just at first, but as the relationship develops then I’d say go for it.
Well ok there is hope for some of you non smokers who do not want a smoker.
I was a smoker from 14-25. I started dating someone that I was friends with for many years. He knew I was a smoker going into it. I wanted to quit though.
He spent the first year of our relationship dealing with my ups and downs while trying to kick the habit.
I was successful at it. It has now been about 19 months.
I have an almost pathological hatred of that smoke smell. My lungs involuntarily stop inhaling when I detect it, and I experience flashes of genuine rage when somebody lights up near me.
As you might expect, a relationship with a smoker is out of the question.
I’m married to a non-smoker. He’d much prefer it if I quit (and I have tried several times over the years) but he doesn’t harp at me about it. I don’t smoke in the house, but I do in the car; it’s such a funky old hunk of junk the smoke smell is preferable to whatever that is coming from under the back seat.
My husband was never a smoker, but I am. He knew it when he asked me out, but he decided that he liked me more then he hated the smoking.
I’m not too sure about the cigarette smoking smell. I’ve been smoking for a very long time now, but no one ever knows it until they see me light up, and they are always suprised because they say I don’t smell like smoke. I don’t wear any perfume or anything like that either.
I have two things that will kill any chance of my being more than friends with somebody should they engage in such behavior: a) smoking and b) religious fundamentalism of any stripe. I just can’t deal with either of those. Smoking revolts me, and I couldn’t deal romantically with somebody with a vastly different philosophical outlook.
I am seeing a non-smoker. He used to smoke 5 years ago. He put up with me smoking, and I smoked in his car and his apartment. He kissed me, too! But I wanted to quit, and I have succeeded! One month today. What a relief!
(Truthfully, I still want one sometimes. I just don’t.)
