Just make sure you bring your own cars to the public place. Nothing is more awkward than having to ride back with the dumper/ee.
Just another perspective. It may be totally useless. If you had one gal going psycho, I’d say maybe she’s just psycho. BUT, if you’ve had a number, then maybe you need to re-think the messages you’re giving/sending while in the relationships and be (take your pick) more reserved/up front/outwardly contemplative in the future. Excluding your run-of-the-mill psychos, I think people tend to act more psycho when the break comes out of blue and after a weekend away of a guy going “hey, I could get used to this…” or some such thing.
Probably doesn’t help you in your present situation but food for thought. Good luck!
It would not be so hard on the person receiving the break up lines if you made your feelings clear.
During the relationship only say your true feelings. Dont say “I love you” if you dont. Love is forever…
If you’re just ‘dating’ just tell her its not working out. It is not what you are looking for.
Any reasonable person wouldnt flip out. If they do you really know you made the right choice. Who needs a pshyco?
3 words: FLEE ON FOOT.
Alright thank you guys so much, i wasnt expecting such a whole lot of replies. I liked the dirty suggestions in the funny way. But i guess the girls did contribute alot of interesting solutions. I mean i have always been saying the word “break” out of the blue rather than waiting for the feelings to fade.
Most of the time its when things are beginning to get sticky. I would’nt be able to handle commitment and i’ll freak. E.g like now for instance. I don’t really understand it. I mean, i guess actions really speak louder than words.
I have never said i love you, and even at the beginning i would constantly tell her lets just go slow and casual first. Only things were the surprise gifts and treats or visits i give her. I mean i like her and i care but she gets stickier and stickier… i just can’t handle it.
I think i’ll keep up the dates but not hold hands and have lesser intamcy, and hopefully she’ll get the message if not, there’s always plan B which is tell her over the phone and wish her all the best. (What do you think?) <---- will this work?
If you don’t want to commit to her, tell her that. Don’t drag it out and let her get wrapped up in it, then pull out the “I’m not ready for commitment” line.
I don’t know the right way, but via Yahoo Instant Messenger, on your birthday, is definitely one of the wrong ways. 
Since you asked, I think these are Bad Ideas.
If you know she’s not the one and you’re really not interested, withdrawing little by little, while she becomes more and more miserable, wondering what’s wrong and how she can make it better . . . it’s no kinder than the quick, clean break. It’s less kinder, IMO. You may think it’s less painful to sllllooowwwly remove a bandaid rather than RRRRIP! it off, but it’s really not. Let 'er rip.
And IMHO breaking up with a person in anyway other than face-to-face is kind of cowardly, unless you have a really great reason, like you’re 1000 miles away. Do her the courtesy of letting her know how you feel in person.
My recommendation is something like this:
“Look, you’re a really great person” – this is where her heart starts sinking – “but this isn’t really working out. I likely you a lot, but” – pick one – “I just don’t feel the spark/ I’m just not ready for a relationship/ I don’t have time to devote to a relationship/ I’m not ready to get serious with someone/ whatever.”
Be vague. It’s just mouth-noises intended to convey “I’m breaking up with you.” Keep it general, because if you really want to be kind, you’ll leave out anything she can interpret as personal criticism: “You’re really loud/ you’re kind of boring/ you’re not really my type/ whatever.”
I think it really speaks well of you that you want to do it in a way that’s not hard for her (or, naturally, for you). But if she’s truly interested in you, there’s no way you won’t hurt her, at least a little. I’ve been on the receiving end of “The Dump” a time or two, and it’s never easy, but it’s best if it’s done honestly and in person.
My two cents.
I think your plan is terrible.
I’m in hearty agreement with Jodi
Hell, yes. Don’t drag it out. I agree with Jodi too – the gradual withdrawing of whatever closeness is left sucks big time.
Just be forthright, but as considerate as possible. “Dumping”. Such an apt term … ugh.
I disagree with Jodi. I was once in the situation where I had that moment and realized that I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. Instead of making the relationship weaker for two weeks, I just told my girlfriend that day. She freaked; she didn’t see it coming at all.
If you let things cool off, she won’t be so horribly surprised and crestfallen.
So is secretly being with your best friend for a couple of months before breaking it off. Then denying any wrongdoings and insisting on still being friends. That’s known as “being an ass”.
`Brilharma
I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and 7 months about 5 weeks ago. I kind of had “the moment” as KC put it, where I realized that the relationship was not what I wanted, that all the fighting and arguing and disagreements were tearing me apart, and that things would never get better. Sperfur said it good - why would I want to stay in a relationship that was less than I wanted, needed, and deserved?
Anyway, he was (is) totally heartbroken. He calls me every night, hangs out at my best friend’s house, and constantly talks about wanting to get back together, how he made so many mistakes while we were together that he was sorry for that he would never do again, etc etc and so on and so forth.
Well I guess what I’m trying to say is that no matter what you do, whether you do it quickly or slowly, you have no way of knowing how the other person is going to react. Things like this take time to heal, and some people take a VERY long time. Just don’t lead her on, please. That’s what hurts the most.
If you’re going to do it, do it. Like everybody said, be honest, but be direct. It’s going to hurt no matter how you do it. There’s no way around that.
Just promise me you will never break an engagement because your parents don’t approve, won’t say why, and say they will not be at the wedding after your fiancee has known them for a total of a day and a half – and you lack the balls to stand up to them, so you go along with it.
Now THAT was a shitty way to get dumped.