My waitress asked me: “do you want your appetizer before the meal or with the meal?” (The question makes sense in this particular instance)
I respond with “I don’t care whatever is easiest for you”.
Is the indecision annoying, or does it come off as being polite or easygoing?
I’d be annoyed just because I have to tell the kitchen something, and I don’t know which one. Just pick one.
Disclaimer: I have never worked in the food industry.
However, I would find it annoying if I were your server. In my opinion, you don’t force the server to make decisions on your behalf.
You’re not alone there…
You might instead ask, “Is one easier for you than the other?”. If there is a difference, they’ll let you know. Otherwise, they’ll say it doesn’t matter and you should make the decision.
When I order an omelet in a diner, I also ask for hot sauce. “Tabasco or Frank’s?” the server might ask.
I learned long ago, based on subtle reactions, that they want you to just pick one. Even “whatever is handy” is a shitty response. Pick one.
I’m guessing I would want my appetizer before, but that’s just me.
On a different note in a related way, once and for all, do servers like it when the guests make rudimentary efforts to bus their own tables, such as stacking plates? I’ve heard that this is just part of having good manners as guests, but I’ve also heard that servers secretly hate it because they have systems for bussing the tables and stacking plates interferes with that. And of course, the servers can’t up and tell the guests that their helpful gesture is actually annoying.
So, which is it? I’d like to know from those who truly know.
The “I don’t care" comes across as a bit harsh, if that’s verbatim what you said, but deferring the decision to the waitstaff seems appropriate to me. Unless they’re new, they’ll know what is the easiest way to deliver the dishes so shouldn’t mind making the decision for you and making it easier for themselves.
This. Because you can be sure that in the past someone has said “I don’t care, pick one for me” and then been unhappy and complained about the choice. Because that’s just how the public is.
Don’t force the staff to make your decisions for you.
How about “Surprise me!”?
If you wanted to pick the easiest, it would seem like “with the meal” would typically be the easiest choice. When it’s before the meal, that’s one more trip they have to make to your table. If it’s with the meal, then it’s just an extra plate they’re bringing with all the other plates at that time.
I spent about 15 years in the service industry. If you left it up to me when I was working, I would bring the appetizer before the meal unless it was obvious to me that one person was eating an appetizer as their meal.
A veteran server probably wouldn’t care, but it’s safer (and kinder) to just pick because a newer server might struggle a little with the choice. Customers are difficult and I’ve absolutely had people scold me or express annoyance after leaving a decision up to me.
As to timing, most POS systems (the computers where the staff enters orders) have a way of telling the kitchen that you want the appetizer with the meal.
I’m not sure this is true. Appetizers sometimes aren’t made by the head chef and they are designed to be prepared quickly by a lower level cook and moved out of the kitchen. Needing to time both of them by different people seems to me to be more of a pain.
I’m on the side of the customer makes the decisions and doesn’t put any burden on the staff. Maybe in a top end restaurant you can say to the chef “surprise me” but in a regular place give them the info they need to fit you into the assembly line with everybody else in the restaurant.
If they ask you to choose, make a choice. Putting the choice on them is what is less easy for them.
and set themselves up for criticism later
It’s annoying mostly because the apetizer will usually come out of the kitchen faster. The appetizer usually requires less preparation and cooking time.
As a waiter you’re left with the decision to either purposely hold back the food until the main course is finished or take it out immediately and risk upsetting the customer because not everyone will get their food at the same time
T/L D/R: Just tell me what you want me to do with your food lady!
“Whenever it’s ready.”
The server is likely far busier than you, and doesn’t want to make a decision on your behalf. Especially since if they make the “wrong” decision, the customer will be annoyed, even if they originally claimed it didn’t matter.
Since no one has answered this part, yes, as a former busboy this would annoy me. 1. You’re not a guest, you’re a customer paying for a service. 2. We did have a system that we were supposed to follow, that involved picking things up with one hand and putting them on the tray in the other hand. If you stack 7 dinner plates with a pile of silverware on top, that’s not going to work. 3. If one of the managers or heaven forbid the owner saw that, they’d assume the busboy was slacking and not clearing the plates on time, and rain holy hell on the busboy(s) assigned to that area.
And as a purely personal thing, if you’re a guest at dinner at my house, it would annoy me also. Ask if you can help, if I say no, respect that. Don’t be the kind of person who “insists” on helping. You’re really not.
Right, "bring them when done. " I do not want them holding my dinner due to the appetizer.
Usually we order drinks first then appetizers second then drink refills along with main entrees.