I dated this guy a couple of months ago a few times. It started out well, we both really liked each other, as much as you can when you don’t even know each other yet. It didn’t work out for whatever reason, but he did something that not very many men do. One of my many exes did it too, and he was a psychopathic, controlling ass. This next guy didn’t seem like that, he seemed very nice, but then don’t most psychopath, controlling asses seem very nice at first?
He fastened my seatbelt for me. Opening the passenger door, helping me in, reaching over for the seatbelt and fastening it for me, then closing the door.
I have to admit, I kinda liked it… I like to be pampered and have things done for me and be a girly-girl on a date because in reality I’m a struggling single mother who works hard all day and then all evening and I expend a great deal of energy keeping myself and my family afloat and safe. So being pampered really helps me to relax and “find” my naturally girly self.
So anyway, at work this has become topic du jour- some women think this is creepy and shows controlling tendancies, and some think it’s sweet and thoughtful. Lots more were of the former school of thought than the latter.
What do you think?
Unless you were having trouble fastening it, or had previously refused to wear one (and the guy wasn’t about to drive you without your wearing one), then I vote for weird and creepy.
What’s next, maybe he ccould have spooned your food into your mouth when you were out to dinner?
Opening the door - sweet
Fastening the seatbelt - creepy
Seems a bit creepy to me, too.
If I’d been there I’d have rolled my eyes and stuck my finger down my throat. Anyone who did that to me would lose major points. I’m a man, but I think I’d feel the same way if I were a woman. Definitely creepy in my view.
I don’t know…
I’m not a particulairly chivalrous person so don’t usually even do the car door opening thing but that just seems like a logical extension of the same.
Doesn’t really ring any more creepy bells than holding your date’s chair at a restaurant.
Creepy would be if he locked your door after doing up your seatbelt…
That does seem a bit creepy. Was this only one time, the first time you were in his car and might have been having trouble finding the latch, or did he do it the next time, too? The first time is slightly strange, but a second time moves right into the creepy territory.
It’s not creepy if you like it. I would find it so.
I just re-read the OP, and didn’t realize he’d done it before getting in his seat,so it wasn’t like you were struggling. He latched you in like a five year old. Completley creepy. Not the same as a parent absent-mindedly cutting up someone’s food while on a date. Creepy, glad it didn’t work out.
The behavior is certainly unusual, even a bit peculiar, but not inherently creepy.
The guy himself MAY be a creep, but this isn’t evidence.
If it’s really just this particular behavior that creeps you out, I’d say you’re overreacting. But something tells me it’s NOT the only thing, or you wouldn’t bother to ask the question.
He did it the first time and every time after that. It was surprising to me, but it had a way of making me feel cared for and safe. Which is weird, especially since the only other man to ever do it was extremely scary and violent.
I broke up with him for completely different reasons, though, not the least of which was that he didn’t seem all that bright, and that’s very important to me.
Creepy, unless he has small children and it may just have become a habit. Oh, but the fact that children would have been in the back seat should have been enough to disconnect that habit. So that leaves it . . . creepy.
For some reason I am reminded of the waiters who put the napkin in your lap as you’re seated. I guess some people like that or they wouldn’t do it, but I hate it.
Maybe I get away with “not creepy” because I stop short of actually latching the belt, (or maybe I am creepy), but I have always opened the door and then pulled out the belt far enough that Deb can take the buckle and latch it. (I used to do the same thing for my Mom or any other female passenger.) Deb and I have been married a bit over 21 years and she has not yet accused me of being controlling.
It’s jsut odd.
Very very odd.
But hey, you like it.
You know, for some reason my date pulling the belt out and handing it to me would strike me as sweet and caring, but reaching over me to buckle it would cross the line into creepy territory. The only man who ever did buckle my seatbelt for me was a police officer, though, and he only did it because my hands weren’t free. But that’s another story.
Locking you up with fur lined handcuffs to the bed. Cute and sexy.
Putting on your seatbelt?
Run away as fast as you can and don’t look back…that is creepy odd iggy gook no no no.
Are there any strange mounds of fresh dirt in his back yard?
How do you know he really locked it - or conversely, once he’d locked it, could you release it? You might want to check for full cans of petrol in the back seat, or if this guy has taken out any life insurance on you…
Another vote for creepy.
The fact that you foudn comfort in it may indicate something that you need, but this manifestation I honestly find a bit controlling and creepy.
By itself, odd, but not creepy. Might make me watch him a little closer, but that’s all. Coupled with other “warning signs,” creepy.
One little odd quirk (like that) by itself wouldn’t set off major alarm bells for me. But if it’s just the start of a long line of oddball things, then those alarm bells would be clanging.
My immediate reaction would be “creepy,” if I hadn’t heard of this before.
However, I know I’ve seen at least one letter to Miss Manners or Dear Abby or the like from guys who were brought up to believe this was something like opening a car door for a woman–a chivalrous thing not meant to be controlling, just polite and thoughtful.
Whether you find it creepy or sweet is, of course, a matter of taste. Whether the man doing it is creepy or sweet–I think this indicator could go either way.