Is this normal?

Well, I saw my ex boyfriend at a pub last weekend. We had a very nasty break up over two years ago (he was cheating on me) and I have seen him a couple times since. We dated on and off for around three years.

Anyway, I saw him there with two old friends of ours, who came up to say hi and have a chat with me to catch up. My ex wouldn’t come near me, but I could see him taking sneaky glances at me all night. Myself, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. My stomach felt jumpy when I saw him, then was replaced by a wave of warmth. I wanted to talk to him but I didn’t, because he had hurt me so badly and I had found out that since our break up he had withheld something extremely important to both of us from me. (Unrelated, so I won’t go into it.)

Anyway, That was almost seven days ago, and I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind. I have dreamt about him every night. Mostly it’s about him and I making love, and I seem to remember every detail of the dreams and I wake up thinking that he’s still beside me. This afternoon, though, I had the most vivid dream I have ever had about him.

He was in my room, and he sat next to me. I put my arms around him and snuggled up to him, and when I looked up at his face he had started to cry. I had asked him why and he had said something along the lines of, “I just can’t believe that after all this time you still love me.” I told him, of course I do. Then, he proceeded to tell me that I was the only girl he had been really in love with since we broke up. Then, suddenly, our faces were inches apart. He lifted my chin up and kissed me. When I woke up I was crying, and felt horribly empty and alone.

That dream disturbed me enough to ask this question: Is this normal? Do you think that this means I haven’t moved on or had closure yet? If yes, then what should I do? And has anyone else had an experience like this?

Thanks in advance Dopers. :slight_smile:

Yes that’s normal. I’ve had the same thing happen to me, myself. Just try hard not to obsess about it.

The dream really means nothing. It’s a bit of wish-fulfillment. You want him to still love you and so your brain has its little fantasy. Really, try not to read anything more into it. I have been exactly where you are and I know!

You probably are not in a relationship right now, and you want someone to love you, and so an appearance in your life of someone you used to like can set off tons of neediness/longing reactions. Just try to ignore it.

You probably didn’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth. When I was having those vivid dreams I tried hard to convince myself that I was having some strange psychic connection, or that I had heard him say something about wanting to get back with me, or some other sort of nonsense. I really was stretching for anything that would make my life happier!

Who knows, he might have been staring at you because he thought you might grab a table knife and try to come after him. He probably was not eyeing you with frustrated lust.

Oh, no, I know that ** Elysian **. I think he has every right to think I will lunge at him with a kitchen knife!:smiley: I do not think he was glancing at me because of lust or love at all.

What worries me the most is that I am thinking about him so much. I don’t think I want him back, but I just can’t figure out why I’m having these dreams and thoughts.

I thought I was very happily single, so this little event has just hit me for six. You might be right… I may be longing for someone to love me, but what bothers me is that I was (or thought I was) very happy and comfortable.

Oh, and I do want to hear brutally honest opinions. Those are usually the ones that help the most, so thanks! :slight_smile: