It hardly matters, because I think everybody else felt the same way (hella rude) and that’s what counts, but imagine this:
Small office - not, like, one of those big New York skyscrapers where nobody knows anybody. Couple hundred people in this building and we all know each other and mostly know each other’s names, although the girl in question I just can’t ever remember because the people in that office are totally interchangeable. But anyway.
Elevator “lobby”, small enclosed space, where generally people at least nod and smile at each other. General “small talk about how slow the elevator is” kind of spot. It would be rude not to acknowledge somebody.
Girl yammers on her cell phone the whole, say, four minutes we’re waiting for the elevator and getting on and going to our floors. “HOW old is she now?.. Did you see the pictures he put on Facebook? Seriously!” The hilarious thing is that as half of us got off she said, “Sorry, I’m on the elevator - I gotta get off the phone.” WTF?
So, that’s rude, right? I don’t need to recalibrate my rudeness scale, do I? Or am I just old fashioned? (Please, do not feel the need to say that you think etiquette rules are stupid and despise small talk and don’t see the point of mentioning the weather.)
Personally, I find it rude when people say personal things (loudly) on their cell phones (or to other in-face people) in front of other people.
However, I have a nagging feeling that the times, they are a-changing.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind my middle daughter of one simple fact: if you say you want to spend some one-on-one time with me, can we go out for lunch or coffee or shopping? Then we do that (on my dime, of course), and she spends 90% of her time texting with her friends. Gah. Rude, rude, rude. Now, maybe in her circle it’s not considered rude. I dunno. But I do know that I find it highly annoying, and last time it happened, I told her “If you respond to one more text with anything more than ‘can’t talk right now’, I will take you home, where you will be free to text until your thumb falls off”.
Cell phones do present, imho, a need for a new set of etiquette rules. But there do need to be rules. And dammit, whoever’s in charge of etiquette rules (Emily Post? Miss Manners?) ought to let me help write them.
The first is that she was under some kind of etiquette obligation to talk to you in the elevator, which to me is just silly.
The second is that it’s rude to talk loudly on a cell phone in public, which is true.
So I think she was rude, but not for the reasons you seem to be attributing. Nobody is socially obligated to talk to people they encounter on an elevator. If she had just ridden the elevator in silence without acknowledging your presence, that would be okay. That’s especially okay since you don’t even know her name and view her office staff as ‘‘interchangeable,’’ so it’s not even like she’s snubbing someone she knows well.
I think it’s rude, but as others have said, “times are a-changing” and that is now the norm. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve overheard. On the otherhand who knows if that person is even on the cell phone for real. They could be just looking for attention by saying controversal stuff onto a phone in a public place.
I think being virtually FORCED to listen to a LOUD PERSONAL conversation that you can only hear HALF of is faily unpleasnt. The fact the half you did hear sounds like the conversation was a bit on the shallow and insulting side too boot, which also doesnt win any points with me. And throw in the she’s ignoring the people around too (which in my book is the least rude, but still mildy rude aspect of it).
So, by my counts, in this situation there were 6, give or take, reasons this was rude.
I agree with Olives. Had her conversation been quieter I’d have no problem with her. As long as she’s not insulting folks I don’t think she has to “acknowledge” you.
No, it’s definitely rude to be the only one talking out loud like this in front of everyone else.
I can understand multi-tasking to a point, but the topic of conversation sounded like it was really nothing important. I can also understand personal phone conversation, but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to hear it, and if a person can’t modulate their voice to a normal conversational tone, they are either attention whores or have a hearing problem. Hey, if a person is going to talk that loud, they shouldn’t be surprised if other people react or make comments out loud.
If this signals some kind of a change of manners, the future looks to be full of inconsiderate people.
I was on a bus once when a woman was having a long, loud conversation on her cell phone. Guy sitting near her started talking to his buddy about what she was saying.
She turned to him and said “Do you mind, this is a private conversation.”
He said “Lady, you’re yelling into the phone on the bus, it’s not private.”
Pretty sure half the bus wanted to cheer. I know I did.
And no, she didn’t end her call.
My husband and I went to the beach the other day. It wasn’t crowded, maybe a clump of people every 200 feet or so. It was quiet. Peaceful. We got all our stuff set up, then this youngish couple comes and sets up their stuff about 50’ from us, both of them blabbering loudly on their respective cell phones, which they continued to do until we drug our belongings far enough away so we couldn’t hear their conversations. Some people.
I think elevator girl was rude, too. It’s annoying to have to listen to one side of a loudly spoken conversation.
I agree with those who say it was only rude if she was too loud. Other than that, no; she’s allowed to continue carrying on with her business, whether she’s on the phone, or having a conversation with someone she got on the elevator with, or cleaning lint out of her purse, etc.
Seen last Friday. We were in a busy train station, heading from the waiting area to our fast train; there is a spot where you have to show your ticket and any discount card you used to buy it. A guy was juggling a big suitcase, a sports bag, wore a small backpack and was talking on the phone; he had the ticket (folded, if you buy via internet it’s an A4 printout) but needed to dig for his discount card…
The woman (in her 20s I think) checking the tickets gestured at him close the phone, there’s people behind you, :rolleyes:, he explained “I’m getting on the train, talk to you later, bye”, closed the phone, finally was able to dig the card, looked behind while the woman scanned the ticket and card and went as white as his tan would allow for.
She has no social obligation to you simply ecause you are sharing an elevator. If she invited you to dinner, and then spent the whole time texting, yes, she has broken an obligation. (I have a friend who is that obsessed with her blackberry!) But the only infraction here was the loud talking.
Being too loud in a small enclosed space has always been rude, and will always be so. The only role the cell phone plays is the noisy person’s lessened awareness of the others she’s sharing the elevator with.
On the whole, I think people have gotten much better over the past decade or so about speaking into cell phones without raising their voices. But there are still some exceptions.
Elevators make me feel uncomfortable.