There once was a man who said: "God
Must think it exceedingly odd
If he finds that this tree
Continues to be
When there’s no one about in the Quad.
and its answer
Dear Sir, Your astonishment’s odd;
I am always about in the Quad;
And that’s why the tree
Will continue to be
Since observed by Yours faithfully, God.
was attributed to Monsignor Ronald Knox and ‘Anonymous’, respectively, by W. S. Baring-Gold, “The Lure of the Limerick”, 1968. Credit where credit is due, though I will be amazed if the attribution is undisputed.
Wait, I got one more!
A rabbi, a priest, a cowboy, a duck, and a string walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
One day Satan Challenged Jesus to a contest. Jesus chose a contest of best computer users. SO, with God being the Judge, they set to it. For 7 hours and 55 minutes they both made spreadsheets, typed documents, surfed webpages, and installed software, etc. 5 Minutes before the contest was to end, the power went out. After another 5 minutes, God declared Jesus the winner. Satan protested loudly “How can this be? We only had 5 minutes to do stuff after the power came back on!” Whereby God replied" Yes, But Jesus saves!"
I’ve actually constructed a joke similar to this (in my stand-up, I have a few jokes about religion). But my theory was that when Jesus said “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone,” he was actually saying, “Hey, guys! Me first!”
Stalin, Hitler and Tito are sitting in a taxi, approaching a crossroads. The cab driver asks them where to go.
Stalin: “Being a communist, I of course demand we turn left.”
Hitler: “No, no, no, we’ll turn right!”
Tito: “Set the trafficator left and then turn right.”
Or, from the 1930s:
When will Europe finally be saved?
When Stalin’s widow tells Hitler on his deathbed that Franco died from a heart attack during Mussolini’s funeral.
[sub]OK, I know nobody cracked laughing, but this thread is sooo long anyway…[/sub]
It still doesn’t make sense to me. Somehow peasant is changed to pedant, and the answer Watt is changed to What?, and then a pedant would modify What? to the grammatically correct Which? That’s not very funny.
okay, i didn’t get this one at first either, but i do find it funny. dig this:
pretend you know all the background of the joke (what you wrote in your last post), but haven’t heard the joke before.
i ask you the lead-in, which (unbeknownst to you at the moment, is a pun (not everyone’s cup of tea, puns, but still a respected genre of humour)) goes as follows:
“Who lead the pedants’ revolt?”
so you search your mind for an answer, but an answer that’s funny, too (after all, this is a joke i’m telling). ‘Pedants, pedants, hmm. i know much about pedants and assorted pedantery. who is a notable pedant? Safire? No, that’s not funny… hm.’
i tell you “Which Tyler?”
you look at me puzzled for a tick, and then your inner pedant kicks in (or, should i say, ‘and then in which your inner pedant kicks’). “Haw haw!” you guffaw, realizing of course that “pedants’” was a pun, because when i answer the riddle by asking “Which Tyler?”, you think of famous Tyler’s, and then think of Watt Tyler, and quickly jump to the conclusion that 'Of course, another pun! How exceedingly clever?!"
