A phone call could creep her out not just because she doesn’t know you, but because she’s not a phone person. I don’t like cold calls on the telephone. Awkward silences are a million times worse on a phone than in real life conversations.
home phone… no way. nope, no, do not.
if it is a work number … maybe.
i would go with the suggestion of a co worker friend. something along the lines of, " i heard mary got a new job. if you see her tell her, i hope she does well there." or “have you heard from mary? how does she like her new job?”
that way you could be introduced in, perhaps mary will say, “that’s nice of john to ask.” “tell him hi.”
I’ve actually had the awkward phone call from a co-worker I never spoke to, and we both survived just fine. I was polite and talked to him, figuring if he went to the effort of tracking me down there might be something there, turned out there wasn’t and we happily went on with our lives. No harm, no foul.
I’d think Glorys idea would be sweet, it can be quite flattering to hear someone had to work up their nerve to ask you out. If you’re okay with the very real possibility of being rejected and have decided it’s worth the risk, go for it.
This girl is out of your league. Do yourself a favor and find someone more suitable for you.
Also that fact that you’re so obsessec with her; she’s gonna sense that and be creeped out by that alone.
But I’m guessing that your gut feeling is already telling you it won’t work, so go with that.
Women aren’t worth obsessing over; the worlds full of them so just move on and find some one where you don’t have to pound your head into the wall or get on internet boards to ask a buch of strangers what you should do.
Half of me says “Go ahead. Call and get the old ego crushed. After all, she’s probably not as Saintly as you think she is.”
the other half says. “Dude… you’re obsessed. Seek help and don’t think about calling her.”
Personally, I think you should move on. You had a shot and waffled it away. Why do you think it’d work now?
The fact that you say you love her more than your ex-girlfriend is freakier than being interested in calling her.
If you must do it, have a mutual friend introduce the two of you.
Other than that, let it go. Obsession is bad, mmmkay?
Exactly. Try to get her phone number off a friend of hers first would be better, but you gotta move fast.
I think the act of calling her as you suggest is just fine.
Under difference circumstances.
It’s not the phone-call-after-never-speaking-to-her-but-liking-her-from-afar that’s kinda creepy, it’s how you are describing her to us that’s kinda creepy.
Scenario 1: There was this cute girl that I used to work with but I never spoke to her. As it turns out, I spent about 15 seconds on Google and found her number. I’d like to call her to see if she wants to hang out sometime - she seemed like she might be cool.
Advice: Call her.
Scenario 2:
Advice: Don’t call her. Just try to move on.
I have an update.
I called her up. I told her that I got her number from a guy that was on her team that I am friends with (I passed it by him first). I know it doesn’t exactly bode well for a relationship that it is starts out with a lie but I asked her if she wanted to come over to my place this past Friday because I was having a couple people from work over. I had that guy come too so all the loose ends would tie up nicely.
We talked and we have a date later this week.
Thanks all for your advice. It wasn’t as bad as all of the trainwrecks I envisioned it would end up being. Of course, as can only be expected in life, wanting her was a lot more emotionally consuming than “having” her.
I happy that things worked out, and I’m really happy that your last post sounds much healthier than the OP. Good luck with your date.
A few tips for dating a girl you didn’t have the balls to ask out for a long time…
-FORGET how long you’ve been crazy about her. You’ll start acting way too familiar, and she’ll start to cotton on to just how much you like her. Not good, at least not at this stage.
-don’t think about her sexually. At all. Given that you’ve never had a conversation, its a safe bet that you’re more in love with her body than her mind… If this is going to go anywhere, you’re going to have to get to know the mind just as well as the rest of her, and fast. Kiss her, put an arm around her, but don’t do anything else.
Here’s what I’d do:
The only way you’re going to get over this is to forge ahead. The best defense is an offense.
You say you investigated and got her phone number right? Well then, it must be easy to get her address.
You need to do a full mini-staulk now. Just pretend that you’re a private investigator. No big deal. You stake-out where she lives without giving up that you’re watching. Let her leave her residence and then tail her.
Maybe she’s going to the supermarket. Perfect.
You let her get into the store. You grab a cart, throw some shit in it and then, at the right moment, you come down the same isle as she and that’s when you spring the innocent, “Oh, hi, didn’t you used to work at Acme inc.?”"Hi, my name is ____, what happened, why did you leave? “Oh, that’s too bad, listen, maybe you’d like to grab a cup of coffee”.
Then, you assess the sitution and see where it could go.
That’s not staulking, it’s just being resourceful.
So how did it go? I’m wildly curious.
To fulfill the naysayers of the thread, I really think that you should send her a dead kitten. Giftwrapped.
Congrats, I still am kicking myself fo an opportunity I missed over ten years ago. I’m glad you built the courage and took the leap.
I’m glad the phone call went well.
Please look up the definition of “love” what you are feeling ain’t it.
You can only prove that assetion by your actions. Let her go.
Well, even the most PC person will say that you have the right to ask anybody out…once. That this is going well for you so far only proves the lottery addage of “you’ve got to be in it to win it.”
For every person out there who has ever been shot down, may I wish you luck?
I say go for it. It’s not like you’re a completely random stranger. I would call her, say you heard she left, found her number, and thought she might like to go out for a drink or something. If she asks why you never talked to her before, say something about not wanting to dip your pen in company ink.