Just got an email from my cousin.
His girlfriend and I have the same slightly-uncommon-but-not-terribly-unusual first name. Although I’ve never met her [they live 500 miles away], they’ve been dating over a year, maybe more, and I know her name.
I find that opening line so incredibly creepy I don’t even want to respond to this.
Am I overreacting?
It’s tacky, but not creepy.
I was going to respond five minutes ago but I was fucking Bob here so I’m a little late.
Yes, it’s creepy. Not in the OMG sexual innuendo hurts my baby ears kind of way, but in a why did you throw that into something so completely unrelated way. It comes off as immature.
ETA - OK, tacky is a much better word for it. Creepy isn’t quite right. And I don’t think your name figures into it. Her name could be Sue and it would be just as tacky.
Eh, I called a professor of mine a few months ago and asked what he was doing and he said “just got done bangin’ the wife.”
Okay, tacky, that I can live with.
I think what was weirding me out was the name mention – “I was effing J*** – not you, my GF” like I needed that explained, or was involved in some weird incest fantasy of his or something.
And did you have a whole new respect for his studliness after that? :rolleyes:
Eh, how old is the cousin?
No, I just laughed and said “I didn’t need to know that.” He’s not particularly macho or egotistical, he just has no filter between his brain and his mouth.
Holy fuck, I guess he has something to prove. It’s just uncool.
Er, that kind of moves it back across the tacky/creepy line to creepy.
I vote for creepy.
I mean, it’s cool to brag that you’re getting laid when you’re 19 and half your friends are still desperately trying to lose their virginity… but you’d think the shine would have worn off by the time you’re 59, no? *
The part about needing to point out he’s talking about his GF (as opposed to you), though, is probably more related to that whole look-at-me-I-had-sex thing rather than any Freudian desires.
I wouldn’t think it was weird that he mentioned her name (and that it’s the same as yours), but the fact that he had to mention exactly what he was doing, rather than sending you the email.
It’s not like he’s 18 and you’re one of his frat buddies. No one needs to know!
Oh, and Happy Birthday, twickster! 
That’s not the way adults communicate. He sounds like he’s 18 and determined to prove he’s still a stud master.
Honestly I’m not so gracious about his use of your first name assigning to simple cluelessness. He should know better and he sounds like the kind of person that likes to get a rise out of people. Tacky & kind of gross.
I don’t think any of us can really say how he meant it without knowing the guy. Does he make a habit of acting creepy?
Yeah, I was thinking he was probably 19 or 20 and just being tacky. At 59 it’s creepy.
Congrats on your birthday. Here’s a birthday card for you - [hands]
Twickster’s Birthday Song
springs springing
hands whirling
your days flutter past
on ragged moth wings
the whirring, bustling days
the hush of quiet, sunny afternoons
dust motes climbing a shaft of light
your first lunchbox
your last kiss
surfing the arc of time
you are here
and now
cherished by your friends
immortal in the moment
love your life
you are forever
Another vote for tacky to the point of creepy.
As for how to react, I guess this is how Miss Manners would handle it.Don’t mention it. If Cousin should ever mention it, “You know, Twicks, my girlfriend, J! From, that sms I sent you?” , then you can mention in passing that you thought that sms was some immature prank played by a friend of Cousin to make him look ridiculous and creepy. If Cousin then says " Haha, that was me" you can look at him non-smiling and say “Oh”.
That ought to do it. 
Dear cousin
Took that long?
Hugs and kisses twickster
Send him back a link to “I’m f’ing Ben Affleck” on YouTube and tell him that if he’s going to share, you want it in song.