I may not die a lonely and bitter old maid, after all! (long)

As some of you are aware, La Twicks is back in the dating pool again. (Thanks to all who helped me polish my personal ad – and special thanks to the helpful Doper who explained how to imbed mind-control commands in apparently innocuous entries).

The process isn’t fun for anyone, and I’m not exactly an easy match. (A college friend – who also has never married, once said, “Let’s face it, twicks, we’re a custom fit in an off-the-rack world,” and I think he’s right.) I’m way too smart for my own good, which, incredibly enough, not all men IRL find enticing – and I’m also not a size 6.

My adventures so far have been a mixed bag. Spent two weeks all giddy about finding Mr. Right – who, of course, turned out to be a lying scumbag. (I’m thinking now he couldn’t possibly have actually been male, because that would mean there was one thing he said that wasn’t totally fabricated – but I’ve pretty much moved on from this, really.)

So I’ve been kind of bopping along with this, sending out the occasional “hi” message on the sites where I don’t have accounts or an email on the accounts where I do, and just generally staying with it without getting too emotionally wound up about it. I’ve spent some damn long periods of my life single (like 7, 8 years at a stretch), and it’s a viable way of life for me – so I’d love to find someone, but I’m not going to take the least-objectionable guy just to be with anyone.

There was actually a flurry of activity earlier this week – I guy I’d sent a “hi” to actually wrote, and we swapped emails for a few days before talking on the phone Wednesday evening – and I ended up liking him more than I expected to. And, he had to go in the middle of the conversation (???) but said he’d call back in half an hour, and did. He commented that I seem to have a mind that, uh, organizes things. Like a flow chart? I asked (a comment from a previous candidate for my consort, who’d apparently found it less than delightful). He laughed and agreed that was what he meant. So I said fine, no flow chart, the ball is in your court, and we agreed that we’d enjoyed talking to each other, and we left it at that. I did email him yesterday morning to send him the link on the Colossal Colon in Philly and say hi, really enjoyed talking to you the other night.

Plus there was another guy who sent a “hi” from a site where I have an account, so I wrote back to him. Of course, what I wrote was, “um, how carefully did you read my ad? You are looking for a woman to wine and dine at fine restaurants – I don’t drink, and I’m not really the high heels and makeup type. Of course, I may be making assumptions about you based on your stated profession [stockbroker], so, fine, whatever, here’s my twickster-identity email address, if I really am what you’re looking for.” Didn’t hear back from him for a few days, but kept getting daily “hi” alerts, so I wrote him yesterday saying, I’m sure this is just a computer glitch, you’re apparently not interested since you never responded to my email, but could you get them to stop sending me these daily alerts?

Okay – that’s the back story. Here is the entire contents of my inbox this morning:

Reply from guy #1, saying “wow, giant colon, how… interesting … I’ll call you this weekend sometime…” (Yes, I’m not a total idiot, I do know what “I’ll call” means, but let me enjoy this for a moment, 'kay?)

Reply from guy #2 saying “I’ve been so busy I haven’t even read the first email yet, but I’ll do that this weekend and write back, and, yeah, I’m getting the daily alerts too, I’ll see what I can do about them.” (Obviously, I’m not interested in someone who’s too effin’ busy to take five minutes to read an email and reply, even if the reply is “I’m swamped, let me get back to you.”)

Email from a third guy, who a few weeks ago sent me a “hi” from a site where I don’t have an account, and I’d sent a “hi” back, and he’d sent a “hi” back – hey, he started it, it was up to him to pony up. He did and it was a charming, funny email and he also seems like a possible. I gave him the twicks email/IM address.

Email from a fourth guy, who I’d sent a “hi” to last night when he’d appeared in one of the “here are some matches” emails from the site, saying he’d tried to IM me last night but couldn’t get through. He also got the twicks email/IM address.

So I’m feeling pretty damn cute this morning. Does someone have a big ol’ stick I can beat them all off with? :smiley:

Honey you need a rope and one of those “Pick a number and wait yer turn” machines!


Ooh twickster, you are a wanted woman!!! And I’m not a bit surprised. You’re a smart, funny and a genuinely nice person. You just shake that cute all over the place!

Damn, twicks. If you were only 20 years older and I were 20 years younger… Wait. That’s not right.

If only I weren’t married and you… Nope, still wrong.

If you were a guy and…

Well, you know what I mean.

So, uh, twickster, where exactly is this personal ad? :slight_smile:

So, is this your secret to finding men? [insert winking smilie >here<]

Maybe this is because I’m so pathetic that when I say I’ll call I actually do, but is it the practice now to say you’ll call and then … not? Or is this a “Don’t call me, I’ll call you” tactic to get people to leave you alone?


Congratulations, twickster.

From my lips to the godesses ears, I hope I can post a similar message one day. :slight_smile:

These things can and do work. It sounds like you’re having some fun in the process, too. So… any dates in the works?

It just occurred to me… are you using a service with an IM feature? They work well to reduce all the back-and-forth email volley nonsense, and you get an idea more quickly whether you might be compatible with the person on the other end.

Worked for me. :slight_smile:

You guys are the best. Honestly. I love you people. (wipes away a not entirely ironic tear)

Krisfer, Salem, Koeeoaddi, you guys make a great cheering section – I hope someday to stop needing periodic ego boosts from you.

So, uh, sunspace, does this mean that the “hi” I asked our mutual friend to convey got conveyed? :wink: Here’s the ad. Whaddya think?

Zenster, honey, I make it a policy never to discuss the details of what may or may not happen in my bedroom on the boards. Thanks for elevating the level of discourse, though. :rolleyes:

iampunha – “I’ll call you” is generally male-speak for “wow, I hope to never have to see you or talk to you again.” I don’t know how this particular idiom developed, but it’s pretty widespread. (BTW – I scored 189K in Rocket Mania the other day, strategy version, which I’m still playing at the easy level. Damn that game’s addictive!)

Johnny L.A. – if you’d like to borrow my lucky socks, I hope to be done with them sooner rather than later. Say the word and they’re yours.

Fizgig – nos. 3 & 4 have both emailed me today, #3 providing a full name and address and two phone numbers, #4 confirming that he was who I thought he was. It doesn’t seem that anything will interfere with this evening’s plans, however – a double feature of “A Mighty Wind” and “Spirited Away” while I do some needlepoint.

I agree about the virtues of IMing – but I’m very comfortable with the written word, and am also a very fast typist – not all men care for it.

And yeah – it’s hearing success stories like yours that got me started on the whole online personal thing in the first place.


And that’s my erudite contribution.

But it’s sincere!

thanks, hon. :smiley:

Thanks for the update, but seriously, was there ever a doubt?

Beauty, brains, and high threadcount sheets…:wink:

Damn, you are never going to let me live that down, are you? Check out the revised version of the ad. [sub]reffa steffa shneffa, you say one dumb thing…[/sub]

And thank you for demonstrating your deep and abiding sense of humor to us all, honey pie.

i think that viewing the giant colon like a visit to the mutter museum is a great way to sep. the boys from the men.

best of luck.

You have a bedroom on the boards?:eek::smiley:

I’ve never used it that I can remember … but then, when I’ve been lucky enough to score a phone number I think I’ve used it every time but one (I was in grade school for that one).

Terrific going, Twickster. They’ll have a hard time finding a funnier, brighter, sharper lady, with or without the beating-off stick.

On an almost completely unrelated and utterly meaningless note, that profile you linked to has “KWY” instead of KYW (Newsraaadio, ten siiiixty). I figured I should tell you, in case, you know, your dream guy turns out to be a rabid Accu Weather fan or something.