Is there a point where old folks fart every time they move? I stand up - farts. I start walking - farts. Because I had an intestinal thing for most of January, I can even say which month it started (March). That’s five months of kinesiologic flatulence so far. My cubical walls are now trump-buffers.
Has anyone else had a shift over to motility miasmas?
Not sudden, but gradual. I wonder sometimes if it isn’t made worse by some of the medications I’m taking, or if it is just a signal of minor internal problems that I didn’t formerly have. Anyway, for me it’s not every time I move, but I am much more volatile at certain times of day.
I like “I am much more volatile.” Someone in our family read a magazine supplement, once, that said that the average person farted ten times a day. So our phrase is “I’m feeling above average.”
I’m 60 and don’t have any affinity with the OP.
I don’t really fart much more. But every year has me making more grunts and groans when doing some moves and lifting. So more sound effects, but thankfully without the scents.
At 74 I find it certainly seems to happen more often, but I notice that it magically seems not to happen when I’m in company or engaged in something busy.
Can it be that it just gives me something to do when I’m a bit bored?
I’m 69 and fortunately only really let rip when on the toilet (which is why I open the bathroom window and put the fan on beforehand!)
I suffered from “silent gas” until I realized I needed to change the batteries in my hearing aid.
A few years ago in an attempt to eat better I increased my fiber intake. For several weeks after I literally and physically had the walking farts. Luckily I work in a noisy environment so nobody could hear and if the smell was too bad I would go for a walk down to the supply room to work them out.
Now that my body has become adjusted to the diet it isn’t much of a issue anymore.
Oh, man. How could that hypothesis be tested?
And may you remain unaffiniated. It’s annoying.
Old Farts
I’ll have you know every single one is new, fresh, and pungent.
They can’t sit around the warehouse aging because the factory line is cranking them out like gangbusters.
Thank you - this made my day! 
As I’m aging, i increasingly notice deterioration in all the muscles in my body. Presumably this applies to the anal sphincter muscles also. So decreased muscle tightness could lead to more farts, especially in conjunction with sudden movement.
Haven’t had as many problems since we got a dog.
Hah! 
Not quite 60 and yes, I’ve noticed it more lately. Just walking around, minding my own business, and one will unexpectedly squeak out. It’s ok if I’m at home or out on a walk, but kind of embarrassing when I’m in a store.
I also do a lot of the grunting and groaning when bending down, standing up, lifting something, etc. Although some of that may be just to cover up the sound of creaking joints.
Is that something to do with the lungs having to work a bit harder, or just demonstrative relief that one’s survived, or just showing off for its own sake?
I’m younger than most of y’all, but in the past coupla years, I’ve started waking myself out of a sound sleep due to butt-trumpeting.
I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence that I started living alone a coupla years ago …
Yes, I’m a member of the gaseous marching band. Perhaps we should all get together and tour; catcalls of “you stink!” would be welcome.
Great name for the regular accompaniment at a Trump rally.
I just got wind of this performance…