The situation is this…I accompany my friend to her x-mas party… a friend date, I suppose. We had a short relationshipship a year ago, but have been mostly friends since. At said party, I notice a co-worker of my friend’s making eye-contact with me a few times. She is very attractive, I am single, so naturally I inquire about this girl to my friend. She tells me her name and that they aren’t really friends, the girl works at a different office. Unfortunately, during the evening I don’t get a chance to talk to the very attactive co-worker. However, I ask my friend if it would be cool to e-mail this girl…she gives me her address. I use it…the girl calls my friend to see if it is kosher that her “date” e-mailed her. My “friend” proceeds to tell her that she feels uncomfortable with this. Ugh…am I a jerk for attempting to hit on my friend’s co-worker? I normally wouldn’t do this, but a) i am single and thought we were just friends b) the girl was exactly what i am attracted to phyiscally and appeared to be a fun person, and c)i asked her first. Anyway, now I sort of feel like a jerk, didn’t mean to be rude or hurt her feelings, but am mad at her too for messing up any chance i may have had with her co-worker…
Just remind your friend that she’ll be able to say all sorts of stuff if you marry.
Your friend still holds a torch for you.
Yep, I’ll fold.
She definitely has some unresolved feelings for you. Note how she gave you the email addy to keep on your good side then discouraged the girl from following up. Obviously trying to have her cake and eat it too. Though I’m not sure if she still has a torch for you. Some girls don’t want an ex back but hate to see an ex with any other girl. Especially a girl that’s as close at hand as a co-worker.
As for you being a jerk you tried to be considerate of your friends feelings and she said it was ok. You’re not a mind reader it’s your friends fault for not making her position clearer to you. If anything your friend is being a jerk for going behind your back by telling that other girl she’s uncomfortable with
the situation…Yeah that’s how I think I ment to end that post. :rolleyes:
Yes, it sounds as if your friend is the one with the problem. You were NOT a jerk. Your friend needs to work out some issues, though.
I hope you’ll follow up with the co-worker. That your friend with whom you are not involved and with whom the co-worker doesn’t directly work is uncomfortable strike me as being rather less than relevant.
I agree. I met a FOAF a couple of years ago. My friend didn’t want me to date her (she didn’t like me, though). I heard her out, but went ahead and dated FOAF anyway. If hadn’t, I’d have missed out on out of the happiest times of my life.
Go for it.
Seems like a rather passive-aggressive thing to do: give you her colleague’s email, and then tell her colleague what she did.
You were in the right. My vote is for following up with the co-worker – a fresh, new, interesting relationship rather than returning to already-covered ground.
I don’t think you did anything wrong.
Your friend, however…being a bit unfair, isn’t she? Did she ever say why she felt uncomfortable about you emailing her co-worker?
Thanks for the replys…they are pretty much in agreement with how I, and most of my friends, see it… minus a few female freind votes…not sure if this is a case of guys/girls viewing the situation differently or what. I would definitely like to follow up with the girl who I found very attractive, however I sort of feel like an ass/embarrassed at this point…and do value my friend’s feelings on the matter…how do you weigh that versus acting on something that could be a good thing…who knows… I suck at relationships with girls anyway, always make the wrong decisions, and hurt someones feelings…