Consciously or not, we make assumptions about people based on their looks. All rules have exceptions, but as a whole are we correct when we make certain assumptions?
An excellent actor can create a whole personality and role out of the way they carry themselves. Bearing, the way they look out of their eyes, gestures, even body type, all of these can be altered based on personality.
Look at Bogart in the Caine Mutiny. One glance will tell you that this is a paranoid and sneaky little sef-absorbed person. In Casablanca he’s the opposite.
How does this hold up in life?
Are unnatractive people generally worse people than attractive ones?
What do you mean by “unattractive”? There are many traits we consider to be good, or useful, or at least neutral, which are typically associated with unattractive people (homely kindness, timidity, “nerdishness”). There are also traits considered to be bad or undesirable which are often associated with attractive people (vanity, self-absorption, arrogance). What do you mean by “generally worse people”?
Let me put it this way. There are people who are obsessed with their appearance, and who’s appearance is “perfect.” There is a girl like that it work, and I think of her as a barbie-doll. SHe is not attractive. She is vain, arrogant, self-centered and not particularly bright.
On the other hand when I was in College, my fraternity’s cook was this enormous black woman with bad hair, ugly features, fat hanging off her arms, and some skin condition that left large white blotches all over her face and arms. However, if you took one look at her, you instantly knew that she was the nicest, warmest, most fun-loving and gereous people you had ever see. You couldn’t help but like her, and you knew it from the start.
There are women who just exude sex. They may not be physicaly perfect, but there is isomething indefinable that is enormously attractive.
So, attractive isn’t held to some physical standard as I’m defining it.
My sister-in-law for example is enormously unnatractive. On the surface she has the same features as my wife. On her however she was added 250 pounds, an unkempt appearance, a closed-face, she slouches and always looks down.
Unfortunately, I have had to spend a lot of time in her company and I can truthfully say that she is the worst human being I have ever met. She is evil. When I met her for the first time before our wedding I said to myself. “Uh oh, this is bad news.” I was very right.
In real life, I’d guess that bad people are equally distributed between the attractive and unattractive (whatever that means). This brings us to the whole topic of what is attractive, and what is unattractive to, say, South Pacific Islanders, might be very attractive to Canadians. But that’s a whole other topic. Basically, neither “beautiful” nor “ugly” people have a monopoly on either positive or negative qualities.
Ok, here’s my WAG…
In real life, looks have nothing to do with personality. Because, looks are just something you are stuck with. It has no bearing on what kind of person you are. Besides that, looks can change. A year from now I could have black hair and 100 pounds lighter. 2 years from now I could have blonde hair, a scar across my face, and squinty eyes. Life happens, shit happens, and looks can change.
However, in books and movie, the author often wants to use appearance to symbolize something deeper. For example, Nathienal Hawethorne definitely used physical appearance to convey a deeper meaning. Chillingsworth leaned to the left, and was ugly, etc etc. Everything about his physically appearance pointed to the fact he was not a good man. Even his name. Now, I could lean to the left when I walk, does that mean I am a bad guy? No, because I am in real life, not a character in a book.
So, because the books we read and movies we see bombard us with the importance of physical appearance when it comes to personality, we automatically believe that holds true in real life. When that’s simply not the case.
As far as some things go, I suppose so. I’m short, on the slim side, and have short hair. That, to me as a girl, is equal to perky and vivacious…which I have the capabilities to be from time to time. I’m energetic, no matter whether I’m angry or overjoyed. But I can also be a mean and vicious little…well…you know. Also, for some unknown reason, people tend to associate slim and short with grace and charm.
Oh brother.
My family nickname is “Grace” - meant to be a remark on how often I fall over my own 2 left feet. I have no social ability whatsoever. When a job interviewer asked me how my friends would describe me, I said, “Well, they’d tell you I’m nuts, intolerant of stupidity, and care a lot about helping others.” pause Interviewer: “I don’t think you could ever qualify as being nuts. You just don’t look like you have the capacity.”
I will agree that you can sometimes tell something about a person’s personality by their bearing, facial expressions, etc. I’m sure we’ve all seen people who had a way of walking that seemed self-assured, or a smile that seemed especially friendly. Of course it is important to remember that things are not always as they seem. For instance, a friend of mine whose bearing struck me as being especially confident before I even knew her personally is not really a very confident person at all. She can manage to affect a certain amount of bravado, but once I got to know her fairly well I realized that she has more issues than “National Geographic”. On the other hand, when I first met another friend I remember thinking how happy and friendly (albeit not physically beautiful) her face seemed, and that turned out to be a correct assessment of her personality.
Basically, then, can we judge a book by its cover? Of course not. While I’ll buy that certain personality traits can manifest themselves physically, whether it be in facial expression, or bearing, or whatever, I don’t think you’ll ever get anyone to agree that one’s outward appearance tells the whole story (not that I’m saying you hold this position yourself; I’m speaking in terms of the debate).
What I will cop to is that the way we look can influence who we are. That is, if you are physically unattractive, people might not react as favorably to you as they would to an attractive person, and your view of the world might be influenced by the treatment you receive. Again, though, that’s only one of many aspects which contribute to the development/expression of a person’s True Self (whatever that is).
I think that if you’re unattractive then you tend to put more effort into making yuor personality attractive. I know people who are both attractive and unattractive (at least to my mind) and on the whole the “unattractive” people are much nicer, warmer and generally just better company.
However if you’re very self conscious then that could affect your personality negatively if you consider yourself to be unattractive and make you defensive or introverted. It all depends on how you handle it. Seeing as this varies from person to person I don’t think that it is really possible to make snap judgements based on someone’s looks and it is definately not true that unattractive people are worse people.
I was just going to post a thread about this. How odd.
The reason why is this:
I met my girlfriend’s family this weekend. She has two older sisters (who weren’t there - they live in Texas), but her younger sister was. They are entirely different people in many, many ways. But the thing that struck me was that she reminded me exactly of a friend I had in college.
The two looked almost exactly the same. Long, dark, straight hair. Beautiful face. Always smiling, always talking. Average body (and by this I mean that she was not rail thin, and she was not fat - she was just healthy. I would describe her as having a volleyball player’s build, if you know what that describes).
So I had a conversation with my GF about this. We think that because people look a certain way, others interact with them in a way correspondent with that appearance/demeanor. Thus being a large influence on their personality. So I would have to agree with the OP, making an exception with the last remark.
Well, I think that depends on what you are looking for, or what you look for in a person.
Two examples:
First of all, last year my boss and a coworker went to a conference where they mat face-to-face a lot of people whom I dealt with personally on the phone for a couple of years.
They both reported back to me seperately what these people were like. Both of them had VERY different reports for the same people, and I’m sure that any preconceived notions came into play with what physical attributes stuck out.
Secondly, many people have seen my picture and thought to themselves “long hair,” and the sometimes negative connotations such a thing has to some people.
Whereas Drain Bead, if you asked her about the first time she saw my picture, saw my smile, not my hair, and that was a positive thing for her to latch onto since, presumably, she already liked me to a degree by my posts and conversation with her.
Yer pal,
Satan
*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Three months, three weeks, two days, 11 hours, 41 minutes and 44 seconds.
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“Satan is not an unattractive person.”*-Drain Bead (Thanks for the ringing endoresement, honey!)