Exactly! Not to mention, you don’t pay for the toilet paper you use elsewhere. People on a budget should consider using ONLY public restrooms. (And by that I don’t mean pissing on the OUTSIDE of them, like I saw the bum on Market Street doing last weekend. :rolleyes: )
Um, Lieu, if all of your bathrooms are storage/pantry/sausage factory, where do your guests poop? I mean, I know the kitchen sink has a disposal, but that’s just wrong.
We Daisy Seal-a-Meal their disposable bedpans.
If someone was making obnoxious/rude comments to me while I was taking a shit in <gasp>* A SHITTER!!!* they’d damn well be a lot bigger than me because otherwise they’d probably be shoved into the stall that I was just in and get a good close look at the water.
You’ll only be doing that so many more times before you do it to the wrong person, Chris.
It’s a shame what paint-sniffing does to a perfectly good brain.
Chris Luongo, you are about as wrong about this as a person can be. Your behavior regarding public defecation in public restrooms is also bigotted behavior, though it may be just a result of ignorance on your part.
Please do a little research on Crohn’s disease and irratable bowel syndrome. Start with this site. Note that the number of people in America diagnosed with these conditions is counted in the seven figures – not counting those who never go in for treatment. We’re not talking about rare, esoteric diseases – we’re talking about chronic conditions that at least 1 out of every 200 Americans lives with every day of their lives.
Yes, I know that you made a little exception in your OP about medical conditions, but somehow, I don’t think you were sincere. After all, you certainly aren’t asking the “offending” bathroom patrons about their medical history before making your untoward comments, now are you?
Fact is, if you only defecate once a day or less, and can hold your defecations more than 15 minutes once the urge strikes, then you are one lucky and rare individual. What do you say to the hundreds of thousands (or more) who only have about 30 seconds between having no urge to defecate and excruciating cramping? You read right – many, many people can’t hold their feces for more than a few minutes without tortuous pain.
Now think again about your attitude. If you can’t stand the odor, maybe YOU should hold your bathroom duties until YOU go home. It’s YOUR problem, not theirs.
When I gotta go, I gotta go. Too bad if you don’t like it. Not all of us are as regular as clockwork, ya know. (Actually, it didn’t dawn on me until about age 25 that some people consider ‘regularity’ an important quality.)
But the real purpose of this post is to report a weird phenomenon that used to happen to me in college. Close to the end of my university career, the new underground library stacks finally opened–and I discovered that every time I went in there, within about 10 minutes I would have to go find a restroom. This happened whether or not I had recently ahem spent time in a bathroom, at any time of day, and in no other library or location. Was it something in the air? The world may never know…
I think everyone else here has successfully dealt with this issue. I would just like to associate myself with the remarks of my learned colleagues.
No need to berate Chris any longer, I’m sure he has the message.
No, Chris, it is not wrong to defecate in public, obviously.
However, I agree with whoever said something about the “courtesy flush”. On those rare occasions when I have no choice but to poop in public, I am personally mortified and I flush frantically. I also try to carry a book of matches in my purse to kill the smell.
I had a terrible experience as a young girl when I went on a trip to Yosemite with about 30 other kids from my school. After breakfast one morning in the restaurant, I had to go. And I was kinda ill. And it smelled horrific, and to beat it all I was stuck on the toilet for a very long time, and it was the ONLY toilet. I had a long line waiting and complaining when I emerged, and that line was not shy about expressing their disgust at the stench I had no choice but to leave. It was a scarring experience.
The unfortunate thing about people pooping publicly and being unable or uninterested in trying to kill the smell is that it leaves others in the position of being assumed to be the responsible party, and I just hate that. I want to explain to anyone who comes in after me that it wasn’t me, but I don’t.
I have poop issues, I admit.
stoid
Let me clear up my post (taking too long to edit)… i don’t really agree with Chris… i was half kidding…
I DO think they should ventilate bathrooms better though. Because when I walk into a public restroom and it smells like i walked into a sewage plant (ive been there, i know the smell) then there should be better ventilation going on… Ive been in some where it was just unbearable to be in. THAT i do agree with.
And the courtesy spray! this one girl in my old job would stink up the one person bathroom and not spray, and turn the light/fan off when she left it… LEAVE THE FAN RUNNING. you’re not paying for the electric. I’m very phobic about leaving any scent, so i apply it to others as well! 
May I PLEASE have that for my sig? I promise I’ll never ask you for anything else as long as I live.
Thanks Chris.
A fascinating insight into the often unfathomable thing that is the human mind.
I really don’t understand why people are so amazingly sensitive about smelling shit. Yes, it’s unpleasant. But life is full of unpleasant things, and it has always seemed to me that the reaction to smelling feces is just all out of proportaion to the actual unpleasentness involved. I suspect is a “princess and the pea” thing: showing how much you can’t stand the smell of shit shows how high class you are. There is certainly a strong historic coorelatoin between wealth and freedom from smelling bodily oders.
For an illustration of this, try saying “Does anyone else smell a fart?” in front of a group of kids. They will fall all over themselves retching and making “ewwww” faces, even though you just made it up. For some reason even “tough guys” want to make sure everyone knows that there delicate sensibilites ca’t handle shit.
That would be one of the funniest things i’ve ever read on this board if I didn’t know you were so fucking serious. LOL
“Ya know Bob? I dont really HAVE to poop but this bein’ such a NICE wallmart 'nall… weeelllll… I think I’d just rather be safe then sorry.”
Amen, sister!
And regarding the person who had to poop every time he/she went into the library- a friend of mine used to come over to my basement apartment and had to take a dump EVERY SINGLE TIME. She claimed it was the yellow paint. I dunno.
As for an embarassing smell, I usually walk out and yell something like “WHAT? Did someone slaughter a cow in there or what? Je-sus!!”
Come on people, it’s poop. We all poop. Each and every one. Get over it . Unpleasant? Yes. Worth bitching about? Not really. Carry a little can of Lysol spray with you if you’re that worried, or master the immediate courtesy flush- that is, the second it hits the water, it’s swirling down. You may have to flush a few times, but it’s worth it if you’re going to spend all day stressed out because someone might have smelled your shit.
What a bizzaro thread- funny, but weird.
Zette
Yes, you’re nuts.
Because shit builds up in their intestines and causes an uncomfortable feeling that is relieved by shitting. If some a-hole just HAS to make a comment about the smell, like Zette, I usually make a joke like “must have been that wild game I had for breakfast”. It’s shit, not roses. Yes, it smells and it makes funny noises when it comes out - are we in third grade here?
Regarding the courtesy flush: I agree it’s a good idea in theory, but have some problems with it:
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With the high-pressure public toilets, a lot of the time the flush actually churns everything around and makes it smell even worse.
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Certain toilets spray all over your behind if you are sitting down while you flush.
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I am really bugged by people who do the constant flush thing. By this I mean people who are so mortified that someone may actually hear them crapping, that they flush the toilet over and over the entire time they are using it (10 or 20 times). People, this is an INCREDIBLE waste of water. If you are that shy, perhaps you SHOULD schedule your dumps so as to be at home.
Oops - I meant I make a joke, as Zette does. I phrased that poorly, so it sounded like I was calling Zette an a-hole. That was not my intention.
Ohmygod! Ohmygod! People poop! Can you imagine?
Dude, everybody poops. You poop. I poop. Men and women and dogs and birds and Republicans and saxophone players and wombats and priests and midgets and beer drinkers and alligators and dentists and horseshoe crabs and sultans. Everybody. Five to ten times a week, Julia Roberts drops what she’s doing, squats on the throne, and strains out a log of waste. So does President Bush. And Garth Brooks. And Penelope Cruz. And Cardinal Law. And Charles Manson. And my mom. And Queen Elizabeth. And both of the Olsen twins. Everybody.
And sometimes it smells bad. Sometimes it makes noise. Sometimes we strain to plunk down a half-dozen pellets that scrape painfully as they exit. Sometimes we’ve barely sat down when our bowels forcefully expel a single enormous projectile and the water in the toilet bowl sloshes most of the way up the edges. Sometimes it feels really good and satisfying. Sometimes it’s just the thing you do.
And sometimes we also fart, and puke, and get weird painful zits on our scalp, and have earwax fall out onto our shoulders, and laugh unexpectedly and blow a streamer of snot onto our upper lip. Sometimes we have sexy dreams and wake up to find ourselves uncomfortably moist.
It happens to all of us. If you find it somehow inappropriate, well, you’ll just have to figure out a way to not be an organic being. I don’t know where you find the application for that, or who you’d submit it to if you did find it. Until then, you’ll just have to deal.
Fercryinoutloud.
Cervaise, that was friggin’ hilarious! 
I especially liked:
Would have loved to have seen that in Pretty Woman. 
- s.e.
** Cervais **, that was one of the funniest things I have ever read. Just think about poor Queen Elizabeth–50 years on the throne. And yes, I bet she does it at Buckhingham Palace.