It it illegal to hire a prostitute for something other than sex?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Hi. I live in iowa and go to college in minnesota. As you may know, these are two of the 49 states where prostitution is illegal. As I am in a dry patch right now and am feeling extremely lonely, I was wondering if it would be considered illegal to hire an escort for services other than sex, i.e. cuddling, touching, companionship without sex or even necessarily touching of the breast. Since this is not payment for sex or other lewd acts, would it be illegal?:confused:

P.S. Before you tell me to “get a real girl,” or “just go get laid” it’s not that easy. I am not finding the right matches who are both available and interested, and I want touching rather than sex, which is all anyone ever hooks up for.

2

I doubt your assertion that sex is “all anyone ever hooks up for.” Perhaps you’re looking in the wrong places.

3

I was using the term “hook up” to apply specifically to casual encounters, not relationships. I am referring specifically to the fact that no one want to touch for a while with no strings attached, they either want sex, which I don’t want, or a relationship, which I tend to be more choosy about, and have been unable to find the right person for

4

I don’t think it would be illegal, as escort services purportedly are asking for payment for companionship (“dates”) not sex. I wonder if the girl would be relieved, confused, or angry if you said you actually didn’t want to have sex.

5

Paying cash in hand would be illegal I would think. I doubt that the prostitute is going to declare the income and pay tax on it so there would be an illegal act right there.

6

I have never used a prostitute, (too chicken) but from what I have read you had best be ready to lay out some serious cash if you want the full “girlfriend experience”. For a prostitute, as with other service providers, time is money, and if you are going to chew up lots of her time hanging out that’s lots or penises that will go unhandled and money uncollected. Plus, from what I understand a lot of mid-level working girls are somewhat averse to intimate displays of affection. They want you to be about your business and move on.

A lap dance might be a better solution if it’s female proximity you crave.

As a last resort you might try match.com or a similar Internet dating service in your area. Buying a lunch or breakfast for a woman is cheaper than a hooker or a stripper and usually yields more interesting conversation. Even if there is no spark you can chalk up the effort to staying in training, and who knows you might get lucky and find a woman who finds you appealing. That way, before too long you can get the real girlfriend experience for the price of a large pizza and a bottle of Merlot.

7

So this hooker sidles up to me and says she’ll do anything for $100.

Anything? I ask.

Anything she reiterates.

Great, says I, here’s $100. Paint my house.

Sorry, just an antique joke that popped in to my head when I read the thread title.

8

If you are caught though, I doubt that anyone would believe you. Expect alot of “Tell it to the judge” responses at the precinct.

9

You haven’t been Googling in the right places. “Cuddle parties” were promoted by some “omg weird Internet” stories via the media a while back, which just means someone was looking for “weird” story ideas and ran into that online, and I just last week read on Salon a “confessional” by a woman who would pick up guys to cuddle with them and then drop them like a hot potato the next day.

10

But cuddle parties were what they claimed to be: parties. If there was payment involved, it was a cover that everyone paid. And, once in, you do very specific stuff. The only real scam are the people charging you to teach you how to run one.

FYI: I am the apparently rare guy who loves cuddling, so I had to check this out when I heard about it.

11

Yeah, the thought that came to mind for me is that you should either find or start a cuddle party in your area rather than paying a hooker for this. Maybe ask on Craigslist if anyone wants to start a cuddle party.
Generally these cuddle party things have rules that they’re supposed to be nonsexual experiences, just cuddling.
It’s not my kind of thing but if you are really in need of cuddling that seems like the safest way to go.

12

That’s why they call them “escorts”.
You could also go to a strip club if all you want is some talking, touching and non sex. Typically (at least the ones in NYC), the girls will hang out, chit-chat, party with you and what not. Courtesty dictates you should buy them drinks, pay for the occassional lap dance or just tip them for their time.

13

False.

14

Mine too! :slight_smile:
To the OP: I feel for you. In my younger, singler days, I went through periods when I was starved for cuddling, touching, and companionship. Sex, too, but I’m pretty sure a substantial portion of my sex-starvedness was hunger for touch and for companionship. I didn’t know what the solution was then, for myself, so I don’t know how to advise you. As noted by others, going to a strip club may be a safer, easier was to get what you’re looking for than hiring an escort, but it’s not ideal: it can still end up costing you a lot of money for an ultimately hollow experience, and of course it requires you to be where you can get to a strip club. You could try expressing your feelings and needs to female acquaintances, and you might end up with a new friend or “cuddle buddy”—or you might just come across as creepy and needy, so I hesitate to recommend it.

15

Requests for advice, including but not limited to legal advice, belong in IMHO so let me move this thither for you.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

16

Seems to me if they were doing things like touching you it could be considered a massage and in most places masseuse has to be licensed by the state. So that could be an angle to consider.

17

Check your local statute but it is probably not dissimilar from:

§ 18.2-346. Being a prostitute or prostitution.

A. Any person who, for money or its equivalent, commits adultery, fornication or any act in violation of § 18.2-361, or offers to commit adultery, fornication or any act in violation of § 18.2-361 and thereafter does any substantial act in furtherance thereof, shall be guilty of being a prostitute, or prostitution, which shall be punishable as a Class 1 misdemeanor.

B. Any person who offers money or its equivalent to another for the purpose of engaging in sexual acts as enumerated above and thereafter does any substantial act in furtherance thereof shall be guilty of solicitation of prostitution and shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

(Code 1950, § 18.1-194; 1960, c. 358; 1975, cc. 14, 15; 1980, c. 534; 1993, c. 609.)

§ 18.2-361. Crimes against nature; penalty.

A. If any person carnally knows in any manner any brute animal, or carnally knows any male or female person by the anus or by or with the mouth, or voluntarily submits to such carnal knowledge, he or she shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony, except as provided in subsection B.

B. Any person who performs or causes to be performed cunnilingus, fellatio, anilingus or anal intercourse upon or by his daughter or granddaughter, son or grandson, brother or sister, or father or mother is guilty of a Class 5 felony. However, if a parent or grandparent commits any such act with his child or grandchild and such child or grandchild is at least 13 but less than 18 years of age at the time of the offense, such parent or grandparent is guilty of a Class 3 felony.

C. For the purposes of this section, parent includes step-parent, grandparent includes step-grandparent, child includes step-child and grandchild includes step-grandchild.

(Code 1950, § 18.1-212; 1960, c. 358; 1968, c. 427; 1975, cc. 14, 15; 1977, c. 285; 1981, c. 397; 1993, c. 450; 2005, c. 185.)

Parts of § 18.2-361 would no longer be enforceable, but what the law on prostitution can be summed up as in Virginia is “money or its equivalent for actual fornication or a list of sexual acts is a crime.” Touching that would not meet the definition of any of those sex acts in either of the two statutes would not be seen as something you couldn’t pay for.

So paying someone to cuddle is no more illegal than paying someone to shake your hand.

However, if you are caught up in a prostitution sting then you are almost definitely going to jail the moment you go into the hotel room with the police officer posing as a prostitute. I think it would be very, very, difficult to avoid going to jail and it would be very difficult to not be convicted of the crime.

That being said you probably have less than 1% chance of ending up in such a situation.

Prostitutes themselves are not particularly interested in cuddling though, they have an expectation of a John’s behavior and what you’re asking for would probably be objectionable to some prostitutes. Further, many / most prostitutes are probably not people you would want to cuddle with. They might have open sores, probably smell bad from constant chain smoking, and various other things.

18

I have read about B&D/S&M dominatrices who advertise themselves as “relationship counselors”. Apparently they can legally charge for administering the B&D/S&M stuff to clients because no actual sexual intercourse/intimate touching takes place (well, this is their claim).

Maybe you can hire a “relationship counselor” and part of the therapy could include holding, cuddling, and non-sexual touching. If that’s not available to you, maybe a full-body massage? (A non-sexual one administered by a licensed pro.)

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope things get better for you.

19

So it’s legal to work cash in hand and not pay taxes on your income? Why doesn’t everyone do it then?

20

I think Spiff’s point was that you were saying that paying someone in cash is illegal. That’s patently false. Accepting cash and failing to report the income is, but no one paying for a service has an obligation to ensure that the service provider subsequently complies with the tax code.