"It" needs a new name

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

So “Ding-a-ling” is right out?

22

Bedong. Accent on the 2nd syllable. Accenting the 1st syllable changes it to a verb.

23

You guys are not taking this seriously. That’s okay. You’re guys. I love ya’ anyway.

24

Well, let’s see.

Spartacus? Has a kind of old timey, latin-like feel to the name. And you can say, over and over again, “I am Spartacus.”

Krakatoa? So long as you are East of Java, so is it.

Saturn 1 – yes, I do have a rocket in my pocket.

MyManosaurus Rex – just has a ring to it.

25

Clearly you haven’t met my, um, pet.

CalMeacham, I think “Penis Happened One Night” would be a great title for a romantic comedy, or maybe a historical epic.

26
  1. Ejaculate Dispenser 9000 (because adding big numbers to things makes it very masculine)
  2. 1920s Style Death Ray?
  3. The “meatus” (pronounced me-aye-tus) sounds rather masculine, but that’s the clinical name for the uretral opening. So maybe you could just make up something and stick meatus at the end of it.
  4. The Birthing Gun (or if you’re a KISS fan: The Love Gun)
  5. The Inseminator (You’re right about adding “the” to things to make it more important, it works!)
  6. “The Rod”
  7. The Joystick
  8. The Erectile Tissue 9000! (hmm… adding The + large numbers doesn’t work)
  9. The Meatus Stick (only if you say it right)
  10. Sean. Sean Connery. (Okay, I got nothing at that point)
27

True story (I may have mentioned this before)…

The New York Times Sunday Crossword, probably 12-15 years ago, had a clue one week: “The _____ mightier than the sword” (5 letters)

I didn’t think anything of it until I wrote down the answer…wish I had saved a copy!

28

Everyone say hello to the Phallangicum.

29

Frankly, if it only cums via phalanges, that’s just sad…

30

The lower cerebellum.

31

A friend of my misspent youth was fond of the phrase “Heat-seeking moisture missile,” which I suppose might be referred to by its acronym, HSMM.

32

Onomatopoeic? I have never heard female genitalia make any noises even remotely close to the sound of one of their clinical names. I ran through a few of these names in my head, though, and imagined them coming from a woman’s nether regions. I found it amusing. Not useful or relevant, but amusing.