During the winter months, I get dry skin. It usually affects my hands and elbows, and I get chapped lips. But this year, my beleaguered bunghole is bearing the brunt of the bad whether.
It’s getting to where I have to excuse myself, go to the restroom, and do this scratch/wipe thing that I do to get relief!
How do I treat this? Bunghole balm? I’m too embarrassed to see a doctor just for this.
Try a light coating of Vaseline. If the itch is only on the outside you can use a cortizone cream sold over the counter. And keep it moisturized.
You gotta scratch it when it itches, even if it’s in your britches.
You’ll have to see a doctor on this one. You can’t risk getting any blood infections from that area. Stop scratching and go see th’ quack!
You might have a condition known as anusitis. Maybe you should mention this to your doctor.
Confusus say Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with stinky finger. ( What I want to know, is how did he get my finger?)
Try some TP dampened with witch hazel, then dry and apply corn starch just as you would for diaper rash.
And ask your Doctor as soon as Possible.
Dude!
I got the same problem, so I scratch.
Whats the condition called?
“Guys acting like pigs.”
I use hemmoroid cream for minor anal irritations. Most major brands contain an anti-itch ingredient and it is made for use down there. I also use Gold Bond powder down there too. It seems to help.
Thanks for the help, guys.
I just got through giving myself and inspection, and I don’t see anything wrong. I had to set a mirror on the floor, do a sh*t-squat over it, the shine a flashlight up it. Since spreading your cheeks requires BOTH hands, I had to stick the flashlight in my MOUTH and reflect the beam up my BH.
But I didn’t see and roids or fissures or even any dry, scaley skin. I’m gonna try some of the over the counter meds and see how that goes.
Wish me luck!
So that’s how it’s done!
what you have described sounds like pinworms. hemroids i think burn, especially when you poop. pinworms leave eggs around your anus and you can’t see them, but they itch. gotta see a doc for that. search the straight dope archives. i think there’s an article in there.
There are several causes for itchy bunghole. You should not feel embarassed about discussing this with your doctor. They see this (and much, much worse) sort of thing on a daily basis.
If the itching lasts seconds, it could be pruritis ani. If it is painful to stool, it could be an anal fissure, particularly if your stool is hard. You would not likely see a fissure on self exam.
Hemorrhoids are not always painful. Your gut, including your rectum, does not have a lot of nerve endings. You don’t feel your food digesting or your stool in your intestine. And you don’t feel internal hemorrhoids above the dentate line. External hemorrhoids are innervated similarly to skin and these ones are painful.
Pinworm infection classically is worst at nighttime. Your doctor might Scotch tape your ass to look for micrscopic eggs. Commonest in five year old kids.
Other causes include fecal retention, anusitis, anal fistula and inflammatory bowel disease. It would probably settle with cortisone, but it would be smarter to get it checked out.
Another possibility is athlete’s foot or something similar. Seeing a physician would be wise.
If I’m gonna write a Staff Report on this subject, everyone should READ it, darn it all!
The athlete’s foot theory may not be too wide of the mark. Thrush (Candida) (Candida albicans?) is naturally occurring but can sometimes ‘over-grow’ in the gut. Certain antibiotics can cause this to happen very easily but it can occur at any time. Oh, and a sugary diet will feed it nicely too!
I too have suffered the curse of pruritis ani.
My story, however, is a personal triumph: a tale of investigation, introspection and ultimately, diagnosis and cure.
During my first bout with the dreaded scourge, I hustled over to my favorite GP. I didn’t have hemorrhoids or pinworm. My GP informed me that this condition could be caused by irritation and advised against the use of soap (my custom) in the affected area. He told me as well that food allergies (sensitivities?) can cause this. He mentioned chocolate, coffee and alcoholic beverages as primary offenders (why is it that we are hurt most by the one’s we love?), but that many other foods could give you an itch to remember. At visit’s end, for some unaccountable reason, the friendly and sage GP eschewed my hearty, firm handshake.
As a long-standing and devoted consumer of the afforementioned pro-pruritic triad, I reasoned that they probably wouldn’t have turned so suddenly on me. Something else must have been causing my itch. A new food, perhaps? I racked my brains.
Then, it hit me. I had recently purchased a Costco membership and was bringing home many new things in extravagant amounts. I found I could not resist the three pound jars of cashews. I ate them daily and in large portions. And when I stopped, slowly the itch faded.
However, as an empiricist (and someone with an abiding fancy for cashews) I didn’t quit at that. Over the intervening years since the initial discovery, I’ve sampled cashews on no fewer than three occaisions. The result: a deep appreciation for benadryl in both it’s capsule and cream forms.
Further reading on the topic indicates that the cashew nut shell contains an urushiol (also the active ingredient in poison ivy) and the shelled nuts are often contaminated with the urushiol oil. Roasting is supposed to destroy the toxin. But let me tell ya brothers and sisters, whatever Costco is doing to their cashews, it sure ain’t destroying all the toxin. And my digestion doesn’t take it out either. The locality of the itch corresponds to the those nether regions that contact the cashew nut oil on its way out.
Granted, I’m probably hypersensitive (immunologically speaking). My mom and brothers don’t admit to having similar difficulties. But I bet there are others suffering with the dreaded cashew nut itch. My only wish is that they may profit from my experiences.
Not to make light of the itchy bunghole situation, because truly that is a bad situation to be in, but… Cashew Nut Itch…um…
Band name??
Just a thought
Eschew was dictionary.com’s Word of the Day on December 14, 1999.
Don’t know the cause of your discomfort but for quick relief buy a box of baby wet wipes and keep it in the bathroom. Whatever is irritating you can be cleaned off much better with these sturdy damp cloths. Just remember not to flush them.
Thanks for all the help, guys.
I’ve been using some over the counter stuff and my condition seems to have improved tremendously over the past 48 hours. I have to say, when I read about pinworms I really started freaking out. I have a TERRIBLE insect phobia, and I sometimes have nightmares that things are crawling all over me. But I did Scotch tape my bunghole, several times, and I could not find a single worm or egg, even with my microscope.
I’m really intrigrued by choosybeggar’s cashew observation. I, too, am an avid cashew eater. I usually buy a 12 oz. canister of Planter’s Lightly Salted Cashew Halves and Pieces each time I go to the store. It so happens that I had just finished eating one of these the day before I posted-and I think I’m on a 24 hour turn-around based on the plastics and the chewing gum I ate as a child. I will watch for this in the future. Thanks.
I feel your pain or itching. Two things help immensely:
Witch Hazel applied liberally to the area
and
Cortisone cream.
Works every time. Both are equally effective.