It's called "guilt" you little bitch..

The BBQ Pit
1

The phone rings last night at 12:30. My grandmother is very sick, so we don’t unplug the phone at night Just In Case. Mr. Kitty registers the ringing first (makes sense, as he’s a light sleeper), and jumps out of bed to answer it. After a few minutes he returns all grumbly. “Who was that?” I ask. “<Mr. Kitty’s Daughter>. She had a funny feeling and wanted to call and see if I was okay.”

That “funny feeling,” you vapid, selfish, spoiled brat, is called guilt. And it does not require a phone call at 12:30 at night to this household. How about calling your brother, who no doubt was still up cleaning the brand-new rifle his mom bought him? Or how about waiting about 3 hours, when your father would actually be awake? Or, gee, how about actually returning his call at a decent hour when he left a message telling you happy birthday? Hell, could you have spared a moment or two of your time when you were in town all weekend? Then you could’ve seen for yourself that he was fine without you here.

It was your decision to move to Florida so you could save money for your wedding (though explain to me how you’re managing to save money when now you have the extra bills like rent, utilities, car payments, etc). It was your decision to sneak in and out of town at least three times since you moved without even a hello to your father. It was your decision to get your father’s hopes up by telling him you wanted a closer relationship, only to cruelly spurn his every attempt to spend time with you. It was your decision to not consult him at all about getting married, or about any of the wedding plans. You may now lay in the lumpy, moldy, bug-infested bed you made.

Your father is a wonderful man. Despite health problems that should have killed him before he was 25, he gets up every morning, plies himself with medication, and goes to work helping other people make their lives better. He comes home, takes more medicine, changes clothes, and heads out to work on our new house. If he’s in bed before 11, he’s lucky. If he gets more than 3-4 hours of sleep, it’s a good night. He has never denied you anything, even after you pulled him aside at his grandmother’s funeral and told him he was going to burn in hell. Even when he was unemployed, he paid his child support on time and in full. It was never, ever enough for you.

You don’t deserve to have him as a father. And I am going to dance in joy come September, when the child support is cut in half because of the unbelievably stupid decision you are about to make, and you actually have to learn what it’s like to be an adult in the real world. Gods, I hate you. And you are exceptionally lucky I didn’t answer the phone last night.

-BK

2

I just wanted to chime in because I read the title as 'It’s called “quilt” you little bitch" and thought this was about some militant quilting bee gone wrong.

Your stepdaughter sounds like a real piece of work, by the way. Your hubby is very fortunate to have you on his side.

3

I don’t understand, are you saying Mr. Kitty will still have to pay 1/2 the amount of child support after his no-good daughter gets married? I thought child support ended at 18. How old is this brat?

4

I read it as quilt also.

Forgive my ignorance of the situation, but what has the girl done that actually deserves hate? She sounds like most of us were when we were in the 18-22 age range: selfish and self-centered and desiring to prove how adult we were by making it on our own.

I’m sure I’m missing something, and now I’m off to search for previous rants by you to see if it clears up the situation.

5

It’s good to see I’m not the only one to read it that way, though I’m slightly disappointed nobody is threatening to “bust a slipstitch in yo ass, beeyatch”

As to the OP, it sounds like something more is going on between bobkitty and her stepchildren than a single late night phone call (“no doubt is still up cleaning his brand new rifle his mom bought him”, “fine without you here”, “You don’t deserve to have him as a father”, “Gods, I hate you.”) These words seem to indicate that bobkitty may not be the most supportive stepmother. However, if the daughter really did pull her father aside at his grandmother’s funeral to tell him he was going to Hell…jesus.

Anyway, I am going to reserve judgement. I don’t know the whole story and don’t believe I have any right what so ever to become involved in anybody’s family strife. I’ve said too much already.

6

If this was a fairy tale, I’d be really worried about bobkitty.

7

LOL. Hell, I read it as “quilt” when I went back to check. Note to self: use capital letters next time.

Turned 17 yesterday. Her brother, the one with the brand-spanking-new rifle, is 15. So come September, we only have to pay for the son.

You’re right. This is a six-year-long war-in-the-making, although things didn’t start getting really bad until about three years ago, when the kids joined this damn cult of a church. Things went rapidly downhill after that.

True story. Although it took her 45 minutes to get that message across, since it had to be surrounded by “you’d better say your goodbyes, since this is the last time you’ll ever see her, seeing as how she’s going to be in heaven and you’ll be burning in hell.” I won’t even go into the litany of issues about me that she gave during this conversation.

Don’t worry about me. I have my official “Step-witch” badge and membership card right here. You wouldn’t believe the benefits.

No problem, throatshot. Honestly, if I could classify her actions into the, as you said, typical pre-adult “stuff,” then I wouldn’t be nearly as angry. She does have her fair share of those, and I dutifully overlook them. But there are things that fall well out of that spectrum, things that can’t be excused, that have led up to this. Deep down, although I think she’s making a horrible mistake and will regret it very soon, I couldn’t care less that she’s getting married in a few months. I don’t care that she’s a Christian, or that she finds great solace in her faith. I don’t care that she dropped out of school in the 8th grade, played at getting her diploma through a home-school program, and will likely wind up pregnant by the end of the year. I don’t care that she chose to move several hundred miles away. Those are her decisions to make, she made them, and she will learn from them (I hope).

What I do care about is what she does to Mr. Kitty. Telling him he is going to burn in hell at his grandmother’s funeral? Refusing to visit because he’s not Christian? Telling his son that he shouldn’t help us with our new house because we’re not the kind of people he should be spending time with? Telling Mr. Kitty that she wants to wipe the slate clean, have a good relationship with him, but only on her terms and conditions, only if he agrees to her list of demands? Talking on and on about how she and her fiance and all the men in the wedding party are going the next day to pick out tuxes, but not even bothering to invite Mr. Kitty? And afterward refusing to give him the information on the tux rental place so he can get the ‘wedding party’ discount? Not returning his calls, not calling when she’s going to be in town, not bothering to keep him up-to-date on the wedding plans (we only recently found out the date of the wedding, through her mother).

Oh, but his money is good enough for her to take. When she needs something, you bet we hear from her. And she insists that he’s going to walk her down the aisle.

Before you think that she’s got outside influence on this, all this has happened in the past 8 months, well after she left the church that started all these problems. And her mom has been quite reasonable, and has no clue why her daughter is acting this way.

As I said, that’s the past 8 months. I could go on for pages, but I don’t want to bore you. :slight_smile:

-BK

8

This girl is a real piece of work. She doesn’t have a high school diploma, has already joined and quit some cultish church, and now she’s getting married at 17! Brilliant. Obviously she didn’t learn anything about Christian charity, patience, or forgiveness at that church. And so tolerant, not reconciling with her dad because he’s not Christian! My bet is he acts a whole heckuva lot more Christian than she does.

It’s too bad that you have to deal with this unthinking ninny. It sounds to me like this is more than just a selfish late-teens phase. She has set herself on this course for whatever reason and is not going to change for the better. Nothing you can do or say is going to change her, as I’m sure you know.

How does Mr. Kitty feel about the situation? Is he defensive of her actions, critical of her, just sad about the whole thing, what? It would sure suck if he were constantly making excuses for her. Are you able to talk to him about the situation and your mounting frustration? He should know that there’s about to be a nuclear meltdown.

9

With some trepidation, I would say that if you were talking about how a parent is treating an adult child, I would say that the child should basically cut most ties with the parent and move on. In this very strange reverse situation, I don’t know what to say. It sounds like Mr. Bobkitty would actually be better off without much contact with his toxic daughter, but how can a parent cut ties with a child? I feel very sorry that his daughter is treating him this way; one can hope that she will grow up and smarten up (hopefully in the near future).

(And getting married at 17? Best of luck to her. No, really. She’s going to need all the luck she can get.)

10

I thought this was about quilting, too. False advertising! Well, not really… anyhow, carry on.

11

Does this have anything to do with that “Boy Meets Girl” book you were talking about back in December?

12

Hey, if she’s marrying at 17, doesn’t she has to get a permission from the parents?

13

Have to appolgise - I read this as “Its called a QUILT…”

I need to go to bed…
Sorry!

:S

14

…put me in the quilt pile…

That really sucks bobkitty. It’s girls like her that give reasonable teenfolk a bad name. My little bro is 17 now, I can’t imagine him getting married. How old is her husband-to-be?

15

Good luck bobkitty, this is a mighty odd and sad situation. Obviously daughter isn’t thinking straight at all. Just one thing I noticed is that she expects Mr. bobkitty to walk her down the aisle, but won’t give him the tux rental information, or tell him when the wedding is? Strange.

For all you “quilters”, I think it’s your display resolution biting you in the backside. I first saw this as quilt (which is why I didn’t read it initially), on my work PC which is at 1024x768, on my home PC, 1152x864, it is decidedly guilt. The little bit of extra resolution makes all the text more detailed looking, at least on my PC.

16

Let me see if I can cover everyone…

Mr. Kitty isn’t one to complain, really. He’s positively miserable… this is his daughter, after all, and he’ll still do anything for her… but he doesn’t let on how much it hurts. He does, however, let her know quite clearly what he thinks of her actions as far as the school and marriage thing. Mr. Kitty has an Ed.S., I have about 2 semesters left on mine, and we’re really big on the school thing. Also, Mr. Kitty has been dirt, dirt, dirt-poor for much of his life. I’m talking live-in-a-sharecropper’s-shack, make-your-own-crackers poor. He knows the road she’s about to travel on. Hell, she knows the road she’s about to travel on. He wanted so much better for her, and it looks like she’s just bent on making stupid-ass decisions. And he knows quite well how I feel about things. After all, I was the one who was forced to go to the bridal shower. :rolleyes:

Who else… ahh…

Yup. Well, kinda. They’re following the book to the letter (you should’ve seen the absolute meltdown when her fiance actually kissed her). But that was what set the ball rolling on this marriage thing.

Only one. And her mom thinks it’s a wonderful idea. So no problem there.

  1. I think he’ll be 22 by the time the wedding rolls around.

Cheesesteak… the only reason we got the tux rental information was because I manipulated the fuck out of my in-laws. When they heard that not only was Mr. Kitty not invited to the tux-rental thing, but that she was refusing to provide the information he needed, they blew up. Took a bit longer than I thought- 2 days- but they ripped both the ex-wife and the stepdaughter a new one. We got all the information we needed right after that. ::snicker::

And featherlou… believe me, I know where you’re coming from. The short answer, obviously, is he can’t. He can only continue to be a model of “good” behavior (finishing school, getting a good job, keeping good credit, etc) and hope against hope that she comes around before her life is in total chaos. The only good thing coming out of this is his son is starting to realize what an imbecile his sister is. Despite the rifle comment I made earlier, I really think he’s going to turn out to be okay- he’s in the local Civilian Air Patrol program, and is focused on going career military (he hopes to be a pilot in the Air Force, or possibly Special Forces if the pilot thing doesn’t work out).

<totally selfish voice> I DON’T WANT TO BE a step-grandmother before I’m 30!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!<totally selfish voice off>

Thanks for all the input, folks. I know I come across as pretty uncaring when it comes to SD. Fact is, I’ve just totally exhausted my resources when it comes to her, and I’d rather focus on Mr. Kitty, who needs my support far more than she does.

-BK

17

Turned 17 yesterday. Her brother, the one with the brand-spanking-new rifle, is 15. So come September, we only have to pay for the son.

Is it politic to say that by giving a 15 yr old a rifle, you may not even have to pay for him soon…or am I hijacking again!!!

18

From the OP I thought maybe so, but your subsequent posts have convinced me otherwise. After all, there is only so much you can take. Here’s to you.

If I may be permitted a small highjack, what’s this “Boy meets Girl” book thing?

19

Tacky, tasteless and completely ignorant of you to say this. Even in the Pit I can’t think of anything bad enough to exclaim my disgust at you for this.

To bobkitty, your SD sounds like a real bitch indeed. Keep your chin up.

20

I was about to go get my “scrap bag” when I realized this wasn’t about quilting.

The only consolation I can offer is that even the most screwed up kids can sometimes come around as they mature. Even though it sounds like she was kidnapped by moonies or something, she will still retain some of the rearing she received from her parents. It comes back in small flashes, but it is a part of her and it’ll just be a while before you see it. I hope.