It's her birthday. Should I do anything for her?

In My Humble Opinion
1

On Friday I met a woman in line at a sandwich shop. We talked for all of three minutes, and I asked her for her e-mail address. Since then, we’ve sent maybe a dozen e-mails each to each other. The dynamic is definitely more one of dating than friendship. So today I asked her if she’s free for lunch this week. We negotiated which day was best for both of us, and settled on Wednesday. She said that’s her birthday, so it’ll be fun.

This could get weird. I don’t want to get her anything, because I barely know her. But I also want to acknowledge her birthday in some way. I suppose I could just treat her to lunch, which would be pretty normal since I’m the one that asked her out.

Any fun or creative ideas?

Oh, and the first person who suggests the customary birthday spanking? I salute you.

2

You don’t want to get her anything, and you are already treating her to lunch. Shucks. I’m out of ideas.

3

I think it’s too soon to get her anything. If you feel you must, I’d go with a small bouquet of daisies or some other friendly flower like tulips (i.e., not roses).

4

Please don’t. To do so would be creepy. Just buy her lunch.

5

Yeah, I’m leaning that way. No flowers, no card, definitely no cute liitle teddy bear with a heart on its chest. (Puke!)

I was just something that would make her laugh. Like a stupid hat that she has to wear, only funny.

I honestly can’t think of anything that wouldn’t be creepy or try-hard, though.

6

I would totally bring her a single flower or maybe a cute happy birthday balloon. Something small and not too over-the-top romantic.

If you’re terribly opposed to a gift, what about buying her dessert? I dunno, I’d probably go with the balloon. It says “HEY LOOK, ITS HER BIRTHDAY” without being romantic (like flowers) or just plain weird (like a card).

7

Talk her into dessert, maybe. Or I think “no pressure” flowers (like somebody said upthread - no roses) are nice and not weird.

8

A true trinket. Like a fridge magnet. Or a keychain. Something she can freely dispose of if she chooses that carries little obligation. But can be affectionately referred to twenty years from now if it works out.

9

A “Happy Birthday” fridge magnet would be perfect, and pretty funny.

10

Or a cupcake, with a candle in it.

11

You should get her something. She made a point to tell you it was her birthday, and I don’t think getting her something is creepy, unless you get her something creepy. (something creepy would be: anything extravagant and expensive, sentimental, or relationshipy…) You’ve had 12 emails,so surely you could get her something silly that also pertains to something she’s mentioned, which at worst would show you’re fun, thoughtful, and remember things she says…

Also, I suggest holding off on giving it to her, give it to her as sort of an afterthought towards the end or at the end of the date, like, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot your b-day present!” If you’ve had a decent date so far, it’ll really be a good closer, and also gives you something to use potentially if there’s an uncomfortable silence.

12

A half-gallon of budget tequilla, a dozen limes and a couple of straws???

(“Dad, how did you and mom first get together?”) :wink:

13

Nice touch! Absolutely do this.

14

I think a simple, small arrangement of flowers is nice. Something lighthearted and colorful like Gerbera daisies would be perfect.

It’s not unheard of to bring a woman flowers on a first date anyway. I wouldn’t think you were creepy at all.

15

Yes, yes, this! Something small, non threatening, but something that shows you’re paying attention to what she says and you’re just that wonderful thoughtful kind of guy.

16

I’d think twice about getting her edible underwear.

17

I’ve already thought about it three times.

Bootis, that’s an awesome idea. Something very cheap that pertains to something she said. And if I wait until the end of the date, I can check in with my gut to see if it feels creepy. Just because I get something for her doesn’t mean I have to give it to her!

18

I met my current SO around my birthday time and, even though I didn’t expect or want him to get me anything, I DID mention that it was my birthday. In retrospect, I guess it was because you feel happy around your bday, you want the whole world to smile at you and acknowledge it. Also b/c it would have felt weird to hide it for the sole reason that I didn’t want to guilt him into thinking he needed to buy me something…?

That being said, the SO wound up giving me a not-inexpensive item from his home that I’d admired the first time we were together and that he wasn’t using. I told him that made me a little uncomfortable, that I wasn’t gunning for a gift, and I couldn’t accept it, and he insisted. I did feel a little weird for the next couple of weeks, thinking that our relationship had begun with me coming across like a bit of a princess.

I agree that some small acknowledgment is cute. A cupcake or a flower or even a picture of a flower in magic marker. But it shouldn’t be more than that.

19

I started casually dating my current SO around Christmas (two years ago).

He had mentioned that his hands get very chapped during the winter time and how he hates to wear gloves, so I got him a small thing of hand lotion with a lighthearted note stating that I hoped he was manly enough to use it (he’d joked before about hand lotion being a bit girly despite its effectiveness).

Something inexpensive and relevant is always nice. (The following Christmas we got ourselves a PS3.)

20

I think I’d go with a small, light-hearted gift, too, if anything.