My Birthday is coming up. Usually my birthdays go really bad, much like valentines day…I think it has something to do with like…all the unrealistic expectation or something. Or I could just be bad with sentimental holidays.
Well, the thing is - I would genuinely like to have something for my birthday. But as I am single at the moment, I have no “default” person to plan it. And my friends, though nice people, don’t really know each other and…I just don’t see them taking the initiative.
To avoid the dissapointment , and perhaps have a reflective birthday, I told people that maybe I would just have a dinner, or take myself somewhere or something. I am consistently met with incredulous looks of shock and horror; "IT’s YOUR BIRTHDAY!! You/we should: x,drinks,y,stripclub,z, batting cages…or something like that.
I’m like…yeah, coool .BUT, *I * don’t want to have to plan the $hit.:smack:
At the end of the day, I can do whatever I want to I’m aware. But, if you’re not a child, is it lame to plan your own birthday events for a group???
If I didn’t plan my birthday celebration, my family would plan it for me. Since I wouldn’t like the results, I prefer to do the planning. It’s my party and I’ll eat mac’n’cheese if I want to
I think it is silly as an adult, yeah. Something like, “Hey, let’s meet up for drinks/dinner” for your birthday isn’t, but there’s this annoying trend in my larger social circle to plan these events for their birthday that require guests to PAY to attend. Stuff like laser tag, rollerskating, renting a small indie movie theater for the night, where if you want to attend, you pay your own way. Cuz, yeah, it’s expensive and the birthday person can’t afford it on their own, I understand that but eesh. I don’t follow Miss Manners or whatnot but that seems really tacky to me. We’re all in our 30s!
Hmmm. Well, that helps me not feel so bad. But I do agree with Rasa that I find it whack to invite people to events that they would have to pay to be at.
It’s almost like the birthday gift is them showing up and proving that they will spend money to be around you.
There is nothing tacky about wanting to do some go-karting on your birthday, and not being willing to fork over the cash for all of your homies to join you.
However, the way to be graceful about it, is to tell all of the invited guests “Go-karting is at 7:30, followed by drinks at the Screaming Weasel for those who can’t make it.”
This gives non-karting well-wishers the opportunity to attend the celebration without the expense.
Oh ho ho, you got me there! Nowhere, of course, but I also wouldn’t invite friends out to dinner/drinks for my birthday. But that’s because I, personally, think me making a big deal out of my birthday at the age of 37 is silly, and recognize that other people don’t see things that way. That’s okay, I think those people are silly, they think I’m a hater of fun.
Also, in my hypothetical example, guests can choose how much or if they want to spend themselves rather than me saying, “Come rollerskating with me for my birthday! Oh, and it’s $20, to cover renting the place, skate rental, and the cake they provide.”
ETA: I don’t think planning your own birthday thing is sad or pathetic.
If you’re a single adult (and not broke) then every day is your birthday. Do whatever you want. Honestly, and I don’t want to be mean, but If you want a pony and some cake then that ship has sailed and those days are behind you. Take yourself out for some personal “me” time and enjoy the day.
I’ve done it, when there was nobody around who grabbed and ran with it. It was along the lines of “It’s my b-day so come to my house for lasagna, cheap red wine, and maybe a movie or game. Anyone who wants to bring a nosh to add in is welcome to do so.” Ended up having some low-key fun and at least one person will bring a decent bottle of wine. Costs me little, costs my friends no more than they can or want to pay, and everyone has a pretty good time.
I often feel sad that nobody cares enough about to me to remember or plan anything for my birthday, but you just have to suck it up as part of adulthood.
In the years I’ve really wanted a party, I’ve planned/shopped/made it happen myself. I don’t think that’s sad.
Not sad at all. My birthday is the day I get exactly what I want, exactly the way I want it. And who the hell else is going to know exactly what I want or exactly how I want it?
