From this article on Yahoo:
But I love this line:
(Bolding mine)
Mundane? Check. Pointless? Check.
“…and taking the gold medal in the 500 Meter Being An Effing P.O.S. Influence On Your Child here in the White Trash Olympics is…”
How do they fit that title onto the little brass plate, I wonder? 
But seriously, you’re right… What a wonderful role model she’s being.
‘…and remember kids, when flinging food at someone in an oversized rodent costume, the important thing is to fling something messy but aerodynamic. You throw a pizza slice like a frisbee, you throw a burrito like a football, you throw a scoop of ice cream sidearm like a baseball. Do not throw peanuts, corn chips or jelly beans. You can throw a chocolate candy bar, but the point is, you want whatever you’re throwing to leave a permanent stain. Now then. When you are threatening to beat up the person inside the costume, remember to use short words of no more than four letters, and yell REALLY LOUD! They can’t hear too well in there, and you really want to make sure you get your point across…’
The person in the costume, who was probably coerced by his parents to “get a freakin’ job, fer chrissakes”, must have had some interesting thoughts regarding the size of his paycheck and his future in the workplace.
Well, you can always paraphrase. Here’s a quick artist’s rendering.
Ahem. My boss would like to see you in her office in five minutes, presumably to answer to my allegations that the sudden, loud, and snort-containing burst of laughter that I just let loose was, in fact, your fault.
Even if it was only a slice of pizza, the word assault comes to mind.
Sure thing. Should I bring her a medal as well? 
Nah, as far as bosses go, she’s pretty damn cool. Of course, my opinion might be influenced by the fact that I see her maybe once a month, and that’s usually in passing in the hallways. But she is negotiating this great little biz trip to London for me, and got me the A-Ok so … No medals for her at the moment
Oh, well then, you can pass this along to her.
