No kudding! There’s no such thing as multi-tasking. At best, it’s multi-switching.
I have a co-worker who complains all the time, especially if anyone tries to do something nice. She is just sure that everyone should hear, at length, everything she hates about it.
Like, I’m not talking about constructive criticism or just not spouting fake compliments all the time- if anyone puts work or thought into doing anything nice, whether it has anything to do with her at all or not, she’ll bitch all day long- bringing it up over and over and over again- about whatever aspect of it she finds imperfect. She thinks your hair looks weird that way and doesn’t like it and will whine and whine and whine about it until you fix it so that she likes it better. She thinks the cupcakes you got for someone else’s birthday have too much frosting and will tell you so not just once, but will keep bringing it up all day long. That kind of thing.
Anyway, last weekend, another co-worker brought her nine-year-old to work, which happens occasionally, but is kind of a pain in the butt on a busy Saturday because the kid gets underfoot and wants to be entertained. So, at some point, I gave her a set of chalk markers I had and told her I wanted her to decorate the glass doors of the cat sections.
It kept her occupied for a good while, she had a great time doing it, and they looked really cheerful when she was done. It’s kid artwork- flowers and rainbows and cats and patterns done without the shame and hesitancy that adults bring to their art. It doesn’t have to be museum-worthy to be beautiful.
Anyway, I bet you can guess what happened. Ms. Bitchy didn’t like it and whined about it. We’re all used to that and basically told her everyone else was enjoying it and she was free to just not look at it. But the next time she saw this little sensitive nine-year-old girl, she decided, without being asked or having had it brought up in any way by anyone else, to give her a detailed run-down of everything she hated about it.
I’m livid. It’s one thing to do it to another adult. I mean, it’s fucking rude and unnecessary, but the rest of us are used to it and are pretty clear that it’s very much HER problem and we don’t take her insults to heart too much. If tearing people down makes her feel better because she’s insecure or if she’s just got an entitled streak that makes her feel like it’s somehow necessary for people to always know what she doesn’t like, whatever. But it’s not that hard to refrain from being actively shitty to literal children.
Anyway, I’m in charge of social media for the shelter, so I took a picture of the door and shared it to a whole bunch of strangers with a note about how much we love the artwork and how it brightens up our hallway and makes us smile every time we see it. People have left some kind and encouraging comments already and I’m hoping it makes her feel better. I do, by the way, know her well enough to know that she likes this kind of attention- I wouldn’t do it if I thought it might embarrass her.
And next time Ms. Bitchy has anything to say about anything, I’m done holding back. I don’t care. She needs to be told (more emphatically than she’s already been told, that is) that it’s time for her to learn to shut the fuck up and, as most of us learned starting in about preschool, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Oh, I do hope she says one more thing.
A very good friend has bought himself a new PC. As a belated gift, I get the new keyboard & mouse that came with it.
Thank You!!!
Also, while I have had mini strokes, the double vision in my right eye is due to two cataracts.
I will have the surgery, one eye at a time, in May. Hopefully, by the end of May, with all of the laser clean up and high-end lenses, I will have truly great vision. But I will have to stock pure-black Ray Bans in my car for sunny days.
So, it seems I need to have some “minor” surgery. Yes, it is minor as these things go OMG IT’S FREAKIN’ SURGERY!!! The doc did acknowledge that while for him it’s Tuesday (well, technically Monday, but whatever) he did understand that for me it’s a Big Deal.
Outpatient. Should solve the problem entirely and for good. Already have commitment by a good friend that she will take me there and then drive me home because, of course, driving oneself home after getting anesthesia is frowned upon. I’ll have a couple days at home with Netflix, Disney+, and World of Warcraft then back to work.
I hope it all goes well for you. Sending positive vibes your way.
What an evil troll. I hope someone puts her in her place.
I also hope she doesn’t have children.
Best wishes, @Broomstick. Surgery has always freaked me out no matter how minor, so I get it.
Glad you have a plan! And how cool you’re going to have great vision - I bet that will be a relief.
Today is Wee Weasel’s ADOS! While I am doing better overall, I’m still having the occasional coughing fit, but it’s asthma, not contagious, so I’m going to pop some cough suppressant and go do this thing. Tiny self-directed rant, I should have gone to Urgent Care sooner, dammit. But nooo, I said I would feel better soon, and waited until it got really bad and thus almost too late.
Grackles are stealing my chicken eggs! Bastards.
I hate it when people use multiple question marks and/or exclamation points in their emails. It makes it look like the writer is getting hysterical and overwrought.
Examples:
“Is the above email your home email???”
“Perfecto!!! I’ll see you in the Zoom call next Monday!!!”
The above are direct quotes from an insurance broker I’ve been emailing for advice re Medicare.
I do it, but only to show extreme emotion. For example, if someone does me a massive favor and I feel like I’m very much in their debt, I might say, “Thank you!!!”
But using those things casually, yes, it seems like the person is overcaffeinated and snorting coke while composing emails.
Wait… is there some other way to do it‽‽‽
Once I walked out of a store having forgotten to scan about $80 worth of cat supplies; so I took pictures of the bar codes, went back inside, and used the images to pay. I was worried that if I walked back in with physical merchandise I could be suspected of shoplifter’s remorse.
God that was grueling. About three hours of testing in a small, hot room. The kid is conked out, I’m totally dysregulated and kinda crabby. Supposedly she is scoring the ADOS as we speak and we get the results tonight. Just more fucking waiting. It’s so stupid because it’s like everybody knows he’s autistic, she recommended ABA for God’s sake, but we still have to wait for the official word. I hate waiting for things. It’s one of the reasons this whole adventure has been challenging. Waiting for anything is the absolute god-damned worst.
So very true. Best Wishes on the test results though…
We got the results. ASD Level 2 without intellectual impairment. Level 2 means “Requires substantial support.” He needed a score of 12, he got a score of 23.
We thought Level 2 was a real possibility so it’s not a shock, but it is something to process.
Could be better, could be worse. I know the kid has a lot of strengths. The psychologist tested his receptive and expressive vocabulary and he was in the average range. But I mean, my kid is reading now(!) and you should see what he does with his numbers. He’s clearly brilliant, and not just in the rote way of knowing things, but in the way he can combine concepts and explore new ways of doing things even within his restricted interest. So yes, he’s always going to focus on numbers, but yesterday he was focused on stacking square magna-tiles in a numeric stair pattern, and the day before that he used his colored number tiles to count by 2s and 5s, and then arranged all numbers 1-100 in a colorful spiraling inward pattern with 100 at the center. He’s like… artistic.
This just goes to show that smart does not always equal ‘‘mild’’ autism. You can be highly intelligent and still have substantial challenges.
I dunno what the hell happens now, but I do know I have a great kid.
We’ll get the full report in a couple of weeks.
You have a great kid, and now you have a little more information about how to help him develop into the great adult he’s going to become!
There are a lot of really intelligent people who need some extra support and understanding to operate well in the world, and you’re making sure your son will grow up with all the support he needs. That’s a really good foundation for a fulfilling adult life.
Your kid sounds amazing and he’s lucky to have such a supportive mom.
That was my daughter’s diagnosis! Though she had one more bit, “With significant speech impairment.” She was functionally nonverbal. At nearly 5 years old, her language skills were like that of a 2 year old. But that’s neither here nor there now because she’s caught up now with speech therapy at age 9. Now she just has speech articulation issues.
I’m so happy you got the diagnosis you needed. I’m sorry it was so much waiting and so much work.
We all already knew you had a great kid.
Now we, and more importantly you, know that he’s got the fast track to whatever support is available. And that is HUGE. Yaay!
I really appreciate everyone’s support here.
I also really enjoy hearing success stories like this. I like seeing future possibilities Wee Weasel isn’t nonverbal (he talks constantly, in fact) but his social/pragmatic speech have a long way to go. There are a lot of things to work on. But we are doing it!
Someone in the Autism Parenting subreddit was saying that in cases where both parents work full time, they almost always have lots of logistical support or one ends up staying home. We are still planning to do this with full time jobs but it impressed upon me that the reason this feels difficult is not because I have ADHD or can’t manage things like a normal person, but because it would be difficult for anyone.