I understand the concept of “The Future.”
(Excuse me while I go through a bit of verbal agony getting this out.)
What I mean to say is: I know, for instance, that the word “tomorrow” represents the future.
I can visualize the future; it is any period of time beyond today.
Now, I’m going to give you a thought that is in the present tense, but this thought now represents a past tense to me:
When I visualize the future, I see my daughters as adults. I see them happy and smiling, living their lives, having children of their own.
I am not in this picture.
I’m present, because I see it, but in my mind I’m never in the picture.
Until recently I have had no concept of my own, personal future.
I never thought I would be alive this long.
I would never have come to this realization if I had not started attending counseling sessions at a local Veterans’ center.
It seems that one of the manifestations of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is lack of a vision of the future. You don’t plan for the future if you don’t think you’re going to be in it.
I’ve been a ghost in my own life.