You know, I’m beginning to feel that there are certain things we experience (like say, the death of a loved one) that doesn’t allow for much of ‘re-entering society’ as we once knew it. I’m sure that you can do it, but it’s not necessarily as good or fulfilling, and sometimes, it’s even pointless.
Thus I seem to be finding out.
Perhaps there isn’t much of a use for a so-called life when you can’t get past Some Huge Catastrophe ™ or whatever. What’s left, even in manageable little chunks, isn’t really anything but simulated. Not the real, important deal.
I suppose that’s all I wanted to muse on. Just sayin’.
I’m currently puzzling about how to deal with helping my friend*, who (according to the Docs) probably won’t make it thru next year. It sounds maybe a little bit similar to what you’re trying figure out. I don’t know, tho’.
This stuff is hard to get past. If I find any answers, I’ll let you know. Meantime I’m wishing the best for you.
*I know. He’s got the problem, not me. But I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with it.
Nuh, I don’t think I am doing so well. But I really am appreciative of you asking pullin and even more so, am I grateful for your friend that you care so much about them. That’s quite a wonderful thing to have on your side when you’re facing never-ending, difficult stuff like this. Talk about blessed to have someone in your corner. You take care of you both and yeah, if you come up with any good tricks, I’m all ears.
I don’t think there are any tricks to getting past something catastrophic. Just time, and someone to talk to, professionally or otherwise, and the belief that going on without someone doesn’t negate the love we felt for them when they were here.
I don’t know what you are grieving, or how long it’s been but I hope you have someone compassionate to talk to to get you through this. If it’s been a significant strech of time and you still feel desperately disconnected and depressed, I hope you are seeking medical treatment. You can always count on us to listen, but sometimes a little properly dispensed chemical help can ease you over the roughest patch. We don’t want you pining away.
Absent any details, I must assume you’re talking about the death of a loved one, a close friend or family member, something very sudden and catastrophic. That’s tough, but think of it this way…it could be worse. At the very least, you still have the positive memories of that person when he/she was alive, and that’s something you’ll always carry around with you.
It’s much tougher, in my opinion, to deal with a sudden disconnect (i.e. falling out) with a close friend, someone who fits you perfectly and you’re closer to than anyone else you’ve ever met – and then it all falls apart, over a stupid misunderstanding, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it, you can’t even blame anyone else for it because you know it’s all your fault.
Even a decade later, just as I think I’m over the whole situation, it all comes flooding back, and I’m back to square zero. Sometimes it gets to the point where I wish this person had died instead…at least, that would be something. Recently I’ve had other friends & family members die suddenly, and you know what? That type of pain ain’t nothin’. It sucks, but not nearly as much.
Will you ever go back to where your life was? Nope, not a chance. But that’s how life works…it’s ever-changing, and even if you end up a bit damaged, it’s something you eventually learn to live with, gain a new perspective on. It won’t happen overnight, and maybe it won’t ever happen. But think of it this way…eventually, you’ll die like everyone else, and then you won’t have to worry about a damn thing. Eventually, we will all be at peace forever.