…and I feel like perhaps it’s time I stepped out of the shadows. It all started on a magical day in 1998 A.D., and well, I’ve been watching and waiting ever since. Scary, I know, but I’m one of those sweet little lurkers, giggling and writing “buff tabby hearts the teeming millions” in glitter over and over on scented stationery. So, hi, hey, hello, hola, gutentag, bonjour.
Hi! Welcome and squid and all that. I don’t think you get the goat until you pay for your membership, but in the meantime, can I interest you in a slice of pie?
Hello bufftabby. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay.
Welcome bufftabby! If you’ve been lurking for 9 years, and still joined up, then you already know what you’re in for. 
I’ve truly paid for my membership and earned the right to all goats promised to me. In fact, I signed up mainly for the goat. That “guest” tag is simply an artifact of the past, due disappear at any moment. Wait for it, wait for it…
Good god, I only survived as a lurker for two and a half years before the urge to post finally overwhelmed me. Welcome to the boards! Now get to posting!
Welcome, Buff!
Hell, I only survived as a lurker here for about four months before I couldn’t resist the urge to join. Nine years … what incredible willpower you must have. 
Welcome, welcome, bufftabby! Would you like some orange-pineapple-ginger ice-cream?
No doubt. I only lasted a few months before being overwhelmed by the urge to come in and set everybody straight. But maybe that’s because I’m an opinionated ass.
If you’ve really been lurking that long, that includes 2007. I command you to post to my thread which sank like lead in IMO.
NOW!
Okay, and here’s some cheese to go with the milk… goat milk… yeesh.
Somebody called for Pie?
Oh. Ok.
Well, welcome aboard anyways. 
I’ll probably give you a pass because you’ve lurked for so long, but there are still key questions that must be answered.
- The Princess Bride, yea or nay?
- Star Wars or Star Trek?
- Toilet paper, under or over the roll?
- Puppies or kitties?
1)Oh yes please
2)I’ve named a cat patrick stewart. I’ve simulated klingon combat. Hell, one of my earliest memories is of watching the star trek cartoon, and I couldn’t have been more than 2.
3)This is obviously a trick question, there is only one right way.
4)Both please. I run a thriving multi-animal home, and couldn’t imagine it any other way.
So…am I in?
Well, you wiggled out on number 3, but you nailed number 2 with both feet.
Bring in the squid!
Well, you’ll have to come over to room 413. As you’ll see, we’ve got the buffet table set up for you. The chafing dishes are about to be turned on so all your food will be kept warm.
The tarps are there for the preservation of the woodwork. Pay no attention to the splashing from the tank that’s kept in that room. At least pay no attention to it until you must pay attention to it.
Is that perfume? Squids love perfume…shoves her in the room
Yes, I’m sure I’m not the only one here who loves your username. Bufftabby. Heh. You’ll fit right in here. Welcome.
By the way, you had me at
Welcome aboard. You know all the rules, so don’t be afraid to jump in the deep end of the pool!
{Q: Puppies or kittens?}
You’ve been here long enough, you know the rule:
U gif kittipix? Puppipix? Kthx.
We don’t have any musicians on call right now for the initiation. But I may have a few old kazoos.
Welcome aboard, after a long lurk, bufftabby!
Wait a second!
{gives the evil eye}
How much Monty Python can you quote?
Um, uh, look over there!
-bufftabby runs under the couch and switches her tail-
Besides, I’m mad at Terry Gilliam right now. I mean, I watched Tideland for god’s sake! It made me wary of watching any more movies for weeks!