I've been thinking it over for a week now, but there's no way around it: justice simply demands that I sue the Klondike bar company

If the woo was homeopathy, the oil may have been diluted many times (thousands and thousands) with cotton (and agitated with a horsehair stick at each stage of dilution), so there is no oil, only cotton-- but it is cotton that remembers the oil, so it’s just as good, and NO SIDE EFFECTS!

A quick Amazon search and I do see all these “castor oil bandages.” There is a note in the title, though, that says “Castor Oil not included.” Or, verbatim: " 20pcs Disposable Castor Oil Pack Wrap Organic Cotton Castor Oil Patches(Oil Not Included),5.12 X 6.69inch Self-Adhesive Highly Absorbent Wrap Easy to Use, Anti-Seepage"

I wonder if that was added after enough credit card reverse charges.

I’m surprised at the belief that “chip” in ice cream flavor supposed a specific type of chocolate material.

The Signature Brand Java Chip I have in my freezer right now describes itself as having “fudge flakes.”

One of our favorite brands -
Homemade
features their “signature homemade chocolate chips”, which are more like shavings from a candy bar than any baking chips. And their Mocha Chunk (admittedly, not a “chip” flavor) features “creamy chunks of dark chocolate.”

But I definitely agree that a flavor labelled “chip” oughta have some chocolate delivery device included.

My sole “consumer complaint” experience involved Panera soup. At one point they changed the adhesive on the top plastic, requiring that I use a knife to cut it off rather than pull it by the tab. They gve me some coupons, and some lengthy explanation about how they sourced adhesives. Since then, their adhesive seems to vary between pull off and impossible to pull off.

i will look for the klondike bars this weekend. for science, of course.

i am in the chocolate chip ice cream fan club. haagen dazs has a good one.

Same. I like Pierres.

I’m considering a massive class action suit against the makers of Pop-Tarts (Kellogg’s).

I opened a packet of raspberry frosted Pop-Tarts yesterday and found that the one end of multiple pastries had been neatly removed, resulting in Pop-Tarts roughly 1/5 smaller than they used to be.

This could yield many millions in damages, or at least 15 cents per aggrieved consumer. I have photographic proof.

Personal injury lawyers will be salivating over this case.

I’ve never liked Klondike bars. To me they always tasted like fake waxy chocolate, non-dairy creamer and sadness.

You’re not thinking big enough, OP.

This isn’t simply mislabeling-induced disappointment. This is emotional sabotage. You and your partner were on the verge of intimacy, maybe even creating life.

But noooo. The Klondike Bar Company had other plans.

The trauma from that mis-labeling didn’t just ruin your night—it altered the very fabric of your future.

Let’s do the math:

You and your partner were seconds away from some hot, sweet, mint chocolate chip action.
But then—bam—a disturbing false advertizing snafu. Mood killed.
No loving. No pregnancy. No triplets named Rocky, Chip, and Caramel.

That mis-labeling didn’t just ruin your night. It murdered a moment. It stole three unborn children from existence—triplets, probably gifted, possibly saints, perhaps a Nobel Peace Prize winner or an Olympic gold winner among them. That’s pre-conception homicide, easily ten million in damages right there. Toss in another five mil for emotional trauma, $3 million for lost cuddles and a lifetime supply of awkward silence.

SUE, OP. SUE LIKE THE WIND. FOR JUSTICE. FOR LOVE. FOR ROCKY, CARAMEL, AND CHIP!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

This isn’t about ice cream. This is about emotional sabotage and lost lives.

Two people. One tender moment. A spark. And then—a soul-curdling mislabeling event. The mood died. So did the moment. And with it, the chance for something beautiful.

We’re not just talking ruined dessert—we’re talking three potential lives lost: Rocky, Caramel, and sweet little Chip. Never conceived. Never born. Never enrolled in Montessori. That’s not just negligence. That’s pre-conception manslaughter.

So I ask you: what would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Don’t let it destroy a family that never got to be.

We rest our case.

Well done! Almost brought me to tears … really.
:clap:

As am I. A chocolate chip shake from Braum’s is absolute heaven.

@Tibby, you can argue my cases for me anytime. Just name your price.

So, do I have a case with regard to (so-called) chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream? Most of the brands I’ve bought recently don’t actually have any chocolate chip cookie dough in them. They have chocolate chips AND chunks of cookie dough. They are actually chocolate chip ice cream with little chunks of of sugar cookie dough spread around here and there, so they should probably more properly be labeled “chocolate chip and cookie dough.”

(I’m being generous and pretending that the chips are actually chocolate.)

My wife and I both love good mint chocolate chip ice cream. Last year we were visiting Boulder, CO and got some from a little stand on Pearl St. Signs said" Voted Best Ice Cream in Boulder!" or something. Might have been Sweet Cow. It was the best ice cream I’ve ever had. So, if you need a fix, head to Boulder.

Oh. Kinda like when you buy “Strawberry shortcakes, (strawberries not included).”

I see what you did there.

Reading that made me feel a bit ill. I may need to sue.

Trip Advisor says that Sweet Cow Ice Cream was voted the best in Boulder:

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g33324-zfd9899-Boulder_Colorado-Ice_Cream.html

Yeah, it didn’t say that when I ordered mine.

No matter. I’m refunded. Just saw it on my card.

The large bandaids(?) Are not very sticky. I can’t imagine they would stick, at all, with oil anywhere near them.

“Problem with the bottling process” is the basis of a fundamental case in product liability in English/Commonwealth case law:

Donoghue v Stevenson

Having your own distribution process makes it really easy to throw around a little bit of product for compensation (at only wholesale cost), and no bottling company would want this anywhere close to a court.

I sent my husband to Kroger with explicit orders to bring home one of these bars in the interest of important research for the Straight Dope, and he insists they don’t sell them there.

I smell a class action lawsuit.

translation: he ate it on the way home