I don’t do much grocery shopping, so people might have better examples. But what I’m about to describe was quite shocking to an inexperienced shopper. I went to the supermarket last week and bought Hot Pockets - Pepperoni Pizza and Hot Pockets - Philly Cheesesteak. My wife’s been away and does the grocery shopping and cooking. This looked like a pretty easy meal for me to heat up.
So I carefully heat up a Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pocket and then eat it. After a couple of bites, I look at the inside. I couldn’t believe that there was 1 thin slice of pepperoni and some cheese surrounding it. While it was tasty, it looked NOTHING like the picture on the box. I compared the picture on the box with the actual product and decided that I’m never buying this product again. How the hell do they get away with showing a picture of a well-stuffed hot pocket with tons of pepperoni and cheese, and then delivering this emaciated replica? I then tried the Philly Cheesesteak version just to give them the benefit of the doubt. Same friggin’ thing. As I said, both were delicious. But I can’t let them get away with this.
Look at the corner of the picture on the box, where it says “Serving Suggestion.” That’s how.
“Serving Suggestion” is not intended, as is commonly believed, to help any poor idiot slobs who can’t figure out how to serve their mac ‘n’ cheese with some parsley and tomato slices on top. It is a way for them to add all sorts of stuff to the picture to make it look nice and at the same time disclaim that all of the items shown are actually in the package.
Ahhh, so they expect me to buy a pepperoni and cheese hot pocket, and then add my own pepperoni and cheese. So in reality, they don’t have to provide anything at all. They could simply give you an empty box with a picture of the “serving suggestion” on it. It wouldn’t be good business, but it would be legal.
In a current commercial for some brand of orange juice (Brand A), a guy is drinking a glass of non-A juice and the voice-over says, “This guy thinks he’s helping his heart by drinking this orange juice.” Shift to another guy drinking Brand A. “This guy knows he’s helping his heart by drinking Brand A orange juice, because Brand A is the only orange juice proven in clinical studies to promote heart health.”
How stupid would you have to be to not figure out that Brand A is the only juice for which a clinical study has been done?
There’s an ad that runs constantly in my paper for “mint gold 1920 coins” that are actually new, and privately minted, and not collectable. Each sentence in the ad seems to be true, but still the totality is an outright lie.
Lollipops with big labels stating : 0 grams of fat.
Really? You don’t dip it in palm oil? You don’t fry them? You just send us these delicious healthy lollipops, fat free.
Mayonaise with banners shouting: 0 grams of carbs
Ahhhh. Super healthy mayonaise, perfect for diets. Eat all you want, zero net carbs. Ignore the 130 calories a tablespoon. Enjoy the carb free goodness.
Much like Clorox. Who not too -long ago had an ad saying…to be honest, I can’t even remember what they were claiming on that occasion. Something about killing bacteria. But it was something that bleach does. As bleach. And the whole ad was about the fact the Clorox actually claims to do this. Whereas generic bleach doesn’t.
Um. Yeah. The bleach company with the huge advertising buget make claims. Whereas the generic company doesn’t advertize anything , it just sells…bleach. That does exactly the same thing. So basically they had ads telling me I should pay for the 10X markup…so I could pay for the ads.
My other favourite is aspirin. No, no other pain reliever works any better than Bayer. No kidding. Because they’re exactly the same as Bayer…they’re aspirin. But cheaper. Now if you still marketed Heroin ™ maybe we could talk
