Your lovely heart-attack-on-a-plate recipe makes me think of that wonderful German specialty, SCHMALTZ…basically it is fat and onions, cooled into a glop, and then spread on bread.
I would have to be starving to death before I would consider eating either your fries or schmaltz…but then again, most non-Americans look at our peanut butter and think it looks like something from the bottom of a baby’s diaper, so - each to their own.
Chicken fried bacon? Recipe, please! That sounds nearly as good as the bacon- flavoured poutine kingpengvin mentioned above.
Well, there’s a small restaurant chain (does three restaurants count as a chain?) around here called the North Park Lounge, that makes something called “lounge fries.” Basically it’s a plate of french fries smothered in melted cheddar and mozarella and crumbled bacon. They serve them with ranch dressing on the side for dipping. Absolutely heavenly.
Still, why not just fry the frozen fries on the stove? Ore-Ida usually has directions to do so on the side.
Once, I was watching a local documentarian, Rick Seaback, doing a show on diners of Pennsylvania. One survived a dish I believe was called a “Texas Tot”-you take a hotdog, wrap it in bacon, then deep fry it. Ugh.
It just occured to me: There’s a potluck next week, that I was wondering what to make for. I’ve also been wondering what poutine was like, ever since I heard about it here, but was restrained from making it myself, by virtue of not having a deep-fryer. And I was wondering what these bacon fries would be like, but it sounds like it’d make rather a lot for one person.
But put those facts together… One pan of bacon baked poutine, coming right up!
Just one point to confirm: Do you broil the fries, or bake them? Broiling uses only the top set of heating elements, with the oven slightly ajar, and usually at a temperature above the top setpoint of the stove. Baking uses both heating elements, and the oven is closed.
:rolleyes: Hey, I’m only an amateur cook, I don’t own a deep-fryer. 
And it shows what you know: it should be butter AND maple syrup.
Omigawd - they have those at this place called Crif Dogs in the East Village. They serve them with avocado and sour cream! I know! Sounds terrible. I had two. The first one was great, but two…that’s really more than anyone needs in one sitting.
Especially after an alcoholic milk shake at Korova Milk Bar . I think I gained ten pounds that night.
Sorry for the late reply, I broil them, in my broiler, since it’s too much of a hassle for me to bake a big pan just for myself. I never knew the specific differences between broiling and baking though, so thanks for that. Do tell us how it worked out for you.
I tried smothering the fries in an italian vinigarette salad dressing before broiling yesterday, and adding the bacon only after about 20 min. It turned out OK, a little tart from the vinegar but quite tasty.
I’m not sure why you guys think these fries are so unhealthy, I only use 4 or 5 strips of bacon for about 1/2 lb of fries and a lot of the oil ends up being collected at the bottom of the pan. It’s certainly no greasier than regular fried fries, I’d venture to say less so.
Your disappointment is richly deserved. 
Seriously, though – it doesn’t sound like you were close to getting poutine at all, if cheese was involved. Whatcha want is squeaky-fresh curds. Cheese on “poutine” makes as much sense as yoghurt in coffee.
And whatcha want in your Milk Plus is some proper synthemesc.
Alcohol! Sheesh.
Going waaaaaaay back:
Nah, too easy.
The potluck isn’t until Tuesday, so I don’t actually know how it’ll work out yet. But when I do, I’ll let you know.
All that’s lacking is the mayo to dip them in.
Over on Flickr, I ran into a discussion about chocolate-covered bacon (yes, milk chocolate; it has been proposed, scary as the thought may be), and I thought of bacon molé - fry the bacon, drain most of the grease, and stir in unsweetened cocoa powder and some chile powder, maybe with some sesame seeds or chopped-up pepitas (pumpkin seeds) for the nutty flavour.
Feel free to try this and report back. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!
“Shut up and finish buttering your bacon!”
See post #9.
Mmmmm…butter.
I alternately drooled, laughed, and gained ten pounds reading this thread.
I still need to find some way of combining bacon with lissa’s recipe for ranch potatoes, I’m too lazy to go buy any ranch dressing, or oil, or potatoes for that matter. Maybe after I’ve finished with my current batch of frozen fries. 
Hm, poutine mavens… I can’t seem to get cheese curds around here. What would be the appropriate substitute? I’m thinking either cottage cheese, or some sort of white finished cheese like mozzerella. Thoughts?
Mozzarella is a common substitute in the West where we can’t get good fresh curd. However, you can order them online, or Tillamook cheese springs to mind for quick shipment out where you are. If you know of a local dairy, give them a holler. Mozza’s good, but it’s just not poutine without the curd.
OK, so I made the bacon poutine yesterday. I couldn’t find curds, and didn’t have enough time to order them, so I went with the mozzarella. And I was unsure about the proportions, so I had to guess those, too: I ended up going with 2 pounds fries, 1 pound bacon, 3/4 pound cheese, and 4 cups chicken gravy. The flavor seemed to be dominated by the cheese over the gravy, so I think I either used too much cheese, or didn’t make the gravy dark enough. Still, it seemed pretty popular: It was one of the first dishes to go empty.
I buy the big, thick steak fries and make a semi-healthier version of ranch fries.
Line the baking sheet with foil, spray with cooking spray, and spread the fries out. Spray again with cooking spray, and then sprinkle with powdered ranch dressing mix (or, Zatarin’s cajun seasoning…ok, or both). I usually bake them for about 20 minutes.
Yum.
Some of these recipes/dishes sound like a new(ish) KFC thing that has had a lot of commercial time lately. Mashed potatoes, corn, chicken (machine removed and formed), gravy, and cheese. I originally heard of it called an “easy casserole” some 20 years ago; using ground beef, tomato soup, green beans, mashed potatoes, and cheese. Sounded like a cheap shepherd’s pie, wasn’t too bad (NOT the KFC version).
Unfortunately easy now days seems to be anything that fits into a coffee grinder sized food processor and can be nuked.
Agreed, the wedges are excellent, and if the sheet is hot the skin is easily peeled for kicking and screaming kids.
My entire family thinks I am odd to eat fries with this condiment.
The cheap (Miricle Whip based) tartar sauce also works for me.