I've gotta stop eating in restaurants!

Tonight I met with a friend for supper at the Mexican restaurant in town. The place was really hopping and most of the tables and booths were filled. Across the way from us was a booth with a family of four and they were loud but fun, laughing a lot. It was a really good meal as usual – these guys are some of the best cooks in town – but I was starting to have my usual problem with eating out, I get gas. I was hoping to get out of there before I lost control over my brewing insides. My friend and I had finished our meals and were just talking as we waited for the check and the family was laughing loudly about something they thought hilarious.

The waiter came by and checked on them and my friend and I started paying attention and watching, ready to flag him down if he didn’t come by our table after theirs. Well, the family was laughing because one of the teens had burped and apparently in some country it’s a compliment to your host to burp after a meal. So the waiter said “Yes I think I’ve heard that – but not in Mexico or America!” and he left their table and came to ours. He gave us our check and said “Did you ladies hear what they said over there about letting gas go for compliments?” and that’s when I lost control.

I just about died – my butt** EXPLODED** in one of the loudest farts I’ve ever let go. I was so embarrassed. My friend started to giggle and the waiter said “No Miss! No Miss! They said the BELCHING is the compliment! That’s the wrong letting go of gas!” My friend gave up giggling and broke into loud hoots and laughter at this and I just buried my head in my hands, face burning with embarrassment and said, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” and my friend is laughing, the waiter is laughing, the family across the way is howling – best entertainment they’d had all night.

The waiter left and I can hear him talking to the host up front “Yes! That’s what you heard! It’s okay though – I think she meant well!” Oh man, I’m gonna DIE! My friend was lying down on the booth seat at this point gasping for breath she was laughing so hard. I grabbed the check and got my money out, put a tip on the table and got up – no way I’m staying here any longer! Went up front and paid and my friend caught up to me as I was finished paying. The host said “Come again ladies, but please no compliments next time!”
Aww, man! It’s going to be a long time before I can go back in that place again! :frowning:

Why not just excuse youself, go to the restroom, find a stall, and fire away?
Everyone farts. Don’t sweat it.

GasX is your friend, or Beano, maybe both. Preemptive measures can be priceless. No more beans for you!

Next time, just excuse yourself and let loose in a bathroom stall, no one will think twice about it. And wear a wig.

roflmfaotrdmfgfb tyvm I needed that

and maybe… just maybe… don’t eat Mexican food?

I love this post.

Why can’t all new members be like you?

Learning curve’s a little too steep for some people.

Best post/poster name combo of the week. :smiley:

Sneak brag! I’m impressed. :slight_smile:

Throw in some Lactaid for good measure, if you’re having the cheese enchiladas.

All you people with the serious answers, SHUT UP! This post is too priceless and too funny to waste on serious answers. I almost never laugh at fart jokes but this one is just hilarious! Thanks for sharing…

They really do process a lot of cheese in Wisconsin.

That stinks!

Awesome.

See, now, if you eat at home, you can always blame that sort of thing on the dog.

See, if you were a man you’d have responded with a high five.

You’re certain it was the laughter?:stuck_out_tongue:

It could have been worse. A friend of mine ripped a big one while testifying as expert witness in court. He described it as a huge ‘BRAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!’ amplified by the oak bench of the witness stand and echoed through the courtroom. The judge even laughed and had to call a short recess for the hilarity to blow over.

Totally! Normally I don’t like fart jokes, but this one…oh, my. I had tears! :smiley:

Now that would be embarrassing! How could he retain his dignity having to re-take the stand after that?