Tonight I met with a friend for supper at the Mexican restaurant in town. The place was really hopping and most of the tables and booths were filled. Across the way from us was a booth with a family of four and they were loud but fun, laughing a lot. It was a really good meal as usual – these guys are some of the best cooks in town – but I was starting to have my usual problem with eating out, I get gas. I was hoping to get out of there before I lost control over my brewing insides. My friend and I had finished our meals and were just talking as we waited for the check and the family was laughing loudly about something they thought hilarious.
The waiter came by and checked on them and my friend and I started paying attention and watching, ready to flag him down if he didn’t come by our table after theirs. Well, the family was laughing because one of the teens had burped and apparently in some country it’s a compliment to your host to burp after a meal. So the waiter said “Yes I think I’ve heard that – but not in Mexico or America!” and he left their table and came to ours. He gave us our check and said “Did you ladies hear what they said over there about letting gas go for compliments?” and that’s when I lost control.
I just about died – my butt** EXPLODED** in one of the loudest farts I’ve ever let go. I was so embarrassed. My friend started to giggle and the waiter said “No Miss! No Miss! They said the BELCHING is the compliment! That’s the wrong letting go of gas!” My friend gave up giggling and broke into loud hoots and laughter at this and I just buried my head in my hands, face burning with embarrassment and said, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” and my friend is laughing, the waiter is laughing, the family across the way is howling – best entertainment they’d had all night.
The waiter left and I can hear him talking to the host up front “Yes! That’s what you heard! It’s okay though – I think she meant well!” Oh man, I’m gonna DIE! My friend was lying down on the booth seat at this point gasping for breath she was laughing so hard. I grabbed the check and got my money out, put a tip on the table and got up – no way I’m staying here any longer! Went up front and paid and my friend caught up to me as I was finished paying. The host said “Come again ladies, but please no compliments next time!”
Aww, man! It’s going to be a long time before I can go back in that place again! 
